


Fated Pair

by LezBlowShitUp



Category: Gundam SEED
Genre: Angst, Canon Rewrite, Dom/sub, Enemies to Lovers, Epic Battles, Eventual Smut, F/M, First Love, First Time, Fix it: Nicol lives, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, If you don't like sappy-ness you won't like this, Kira and Cagalli might be closer than normal siblings, Kira gets captured then some other shit happens, Love Confessions, M/M, Minor Character Death, Possessive Behavior, Romance, Shower Sex, Slow Build, So much angst, Some Ds dynamics, Teenage Drama, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, True Love, but Athrun is cool with it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:47:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 58,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26011366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LezBlowShitUp/pseuds/LezBlowShitUp
Summary: In which Athrun and Kira have too much they've never admitted to wanting from each other. Not even to themselves. All Athrun knows is, the worst part of this war has been losing the one person who actually mattered to the other side. Kira goes down with the Strike in a battle outside ORB's waters and tensions reach a boiling point. As the Supreme Council debates executing him as a traitor, Athrun has to make a choice.~Reposting this after years and years for some lovely old fans.
Relationships: Kira Yamato/Athrun Zala
Comments: 41
Kudos: 58





	1. Meeting Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an old work I'm reposting after realizing I'll never edit it. My style of writing has just changed too much. I've gotten a bunch of messages about it, and frankly, I feel kinda bad for taking it down for so long. So for the small group of Gundam Seed stans like me still out there, I hope this helps sate the total lack of AsuKira fics.

> _C.E. 71: April 5th, Archangel, Soldier Quarters, 06:00_

The silence in the room woke Kira up. He laid in his bunk on the Archangel listening to the absence of engine sounds, waves, and alarms. The battle was over for a moment, gaining him a handful of days where he would not have to fight. For that small concession, Kira was grateful. 

They made it into ORB by the skin of their teeth. He nearly failed the crew, but Cagalli saved their lives, obtaining entry into ORB for them. The goddess of victory shocked them all with her true identity. And, now, they were finally able to take refuge. 

The room was dark with only a soft glowing light coming in through a small window high on the wall. It blanketed the space in blueish early morning hue. Curled up on his side memories blinked past the backs of his eyelids. 

Kira's mind slid over their small dormitory room. The adjoining walls, showing sections of their separate living spaces, their beds, dressers, and a desk for each of them. There was a Persian rug gifted by Athrun's mother, a pre-loved lounge chair from Kira's family where he dozed off at least once a week; the sliding windows which showed a slice of the academy's courtyard when the sun was out. Despite the sparse furniture, the boys managed to personalize the area. Athrun had several blueprints plastered for 'in progress' micro-units over his desk, and Kira had the posters to a monster combat game he played next to his bed. 

For both of them, the room felt like home. 

Kira could pretend like he had done countless times over the years, that the feeling of his own arms encircling his torso, was more. If he focused closely enough, he could feel the ghost of someone else's touch around him. 

"It's okay Kira; I've got you. You're not alone," a soft voice had cooed soothingly while wiping the tears away from his baby-fat cheeks. 

"Athrun?" the little boy had whispered, surprised to have been found. 

Athrun had smiled at him, leaning closer and nestling his nose into Kira's chocolate locks. He had pulled Kira into his arms, puzzle-piecing their bodies as close as they could get. 

"Yes, Kira?" he had breathed into his ear. 

Kira had felt heat travel up the back of his neck. He didn't know what to do when his insides felt too shivery to keep quiet. He had wanted Athrun to stay close and keep his arms around him but didn't think he was supposed to be having these kinds of feelings about his best friend. 

"I'm sorry, Athrun. I know I shouldn't have been crying again." 

Athrun reached past him for a moment, turning on the bedside lamp and flooding the room with light. Kira felt hopelessly exposed, especially with the intense way Athrun sometimes looked at him. His friend moved so that he could see into Kira's eyes. The brunette couldn't help but bite his lip, filled with shame. 

The bluenette's gaze softened at the vulnerable expression. Not unhappy. Not angry. "It's okay, Kira. No one is here now. You can cry." Athrun lifted his hand to Kira's face. His fingers automatically went to touch Kira's bottom lip drawing it away from his teeth. 

Kira gasped at the new contact. His lips parted and tingled under Athrun's cool fingers as they traced the rest of his mouth. 

Athrun stared at them. His eyes fixed Kira into place. The little boy was afraid to move, afraid to even breathe, in case Athrun might come out of his daze and pull away. He wanted so badly to lean into his friend's touch and let his lips find something even better than Athrun's fingers, but he couldn't move. Not if it meant losing this blissful contact. 

Then, Athrun was pulling his fingers away tracing his own mouth as he continued to stare at Kira's. The small boy looked back at him, Athrun's pale face lit by the glow of lamplight. There were no clues that Kira could read in his expression, just blankness. 

There were too many questions Kira didn't know how to ask; he didn't know what was going on in Athrun's brain. 

The bluenette leaned forward, bringing their faces closer together. Kira flushed, eyes widening. 

Athrun had seen the shift in his violet eyes and stopped abruptly. 

In a frozen moment, Kira had heard his heartbeat pounding against his eardrums. 

"S-Sorry," he had muttered before scrambling off the bed and rushing into the bathroom. 

The loud automated swish of the door sounded throughout the room. 

Kira jerked out of the daydream, hand flying out beside him to search his bed. He was met only with cool sheets and an absence, something missing. There was something missing. He shuddered and wrapped his arms a little tighter around himself. 

"Kira?" Flay called. "Why are you laying down in here?" 

He made no move to respond, Flay's voice felt like it was coming through some kind of barrier causing the sound to be muffled. Kira's mind was far away trying to recall every detail of Athrun's face. He could almost conjure up the bluenette's exact scent, and the slightly disheveled way his hair he would look after laying around for a while. 

"Why didn't you go?" she tried again. 

"What?" Kira answered coming out of his reverie and feeling unsure of what she was referring to. 

"Don't you have family here as well? Why aren't you going to see them?" 

Oh, he thought. That's all she means. "I didn't want to." He hoped that would suffice. Kira had no interest in seeing his family. With everything that had happened, he felt strangely detached from them, as if they were from another life. He was a soldier now, nothing else really mattered. 

"Liar!" Flay shouted and rushed towards him. Her face changed, now it almost looked vulturine. Somehow he had infuriated her. "You're lying! What is it, you feel bad for me?" Kira sat up on the bed leaning back against the headboard defensively. She looked as if she was going to throw herself at him. 

"Wha.." What is she talking about? He wondered. Kira couldn't understand how she had become so angry at him from what he had said. It always seemed to be like this with Flay, there was constantly a risk for confrontation, even when it made no sense at all. If he was honest, Kira was exhausted by it."Is that it? You pity me," she accused, crouching menacingly over him. 

How could she think that? he thought. Kira didn't understand what was happening. "No... I–" he tried to correct her, but she interrupted him. 

"Because no one has come to see me, and now you're feeling sorry for me, is that it?" Flay shouted the words, voice scratchy, and eyes pooling with tears. 

Kira knew he needed to calm her down. Flay had riled herself up so quickly, and she was scaring him now. Sometimes it sounded like Flay hated him. Why was she talking to him like this? Kira knew she must be hurting a great deal from the loss of her father, but he had tried to be there for her. Things like this kept happening; she would blow up at him over nothing. 

"No Flay," he whispered in a reassuring voice trying to soothe her, that's not it," he couldn't understand what she was thinking. 

"Oh, give me a break." She pulled away from her crouching position over him. "You're putting on this big sympathy act for me, but I just wish you'd stop it." 

Kira sat up, reaching for her, trying to stop her from pulling away from him. Why was Flay so offensive? Didn't she know that he was just there to help her? Kira had held Flay while she cried over her father's death, more nights than he could track now. He had taken care of her when she had been most vulnerable. Flay's behavior now reminded him of how she used to act back when she had first come aboard the Archangel. Had she changed so little? Still trying to calm her down he tried again, "Well, c'mon Flay." She swatted his hand away. 

"You're the one who's actually suffering, aren't you?" Flay yelled accusingly. 

Kira jerked back at her question. "What?" He was suffering. Of course, he was suffering. To protect the people on the Archangel, he had been forced to become a murderer. What kind of monster would he be if he wasn't suffering, and why was she attacking him with this? 

"You're the one people should be feeling sorry for, poor little Kira. Kira's all alone," she taunted. "You feel terrible because you're fighting, and when you can't protect people you feel even worse, so then you start crying." She spat the words out as tears ran down her cheeks in thick streams, giving her a messy, wild look. Kira watched her in astonishment. Who was this person? 

Flay let out a sob. Having exhausted herself, she tossed her body into Kira's arms. He sat there immobile as she pounded her fists against his chest. 

"So how! How can you feel any sympathy for someone like me?" 

Kira grimaced. He had tried so hard to help her. But she–did she even care about him? 

"Flay look..." He needed to get away from her. Yeah, that was the only option she was giving him. Get away from her, Kira's mind blared. This wasn't right; he had used her to fill the hole eating away at his heart. The loneliness had been so powerful it felt like it was consuming him. Kira realized now how wrong that had been, but she had used him too. He had provided her with someone to direct all of her hatefulness at. This couldn't go on. Kira couldn't keep allowing her to abuse him like this. 

"Let's stop this." 

Flay paused, her mouth open, and breathing heavily. At his words, her lips pressed into a snarl, fists grabbing his top as she glared up at him. 

"What did you say?" Flay challenged him. "What does that mean?" she gave a feral growl, eyes wild. 

Kira knew she wasn't going to like what he had to say, but he needed to tell her. It was wrong he had allowed things to go on this long. "Let's put an end to it. This was a mistake." Her body unfurled as if getting ready to lash out at him again. 

"A mistake? How dare you!" Flay went to smack him, arm lurching back in the air, but Kira caught her wrist. She never had any hope of trying to fight him physically. 

"Flay!" Kira reprimanded her. He thought she could do better than this. 

"If I was a mistake, why did you kiss me? Is this why you wouldn't have sex with me? Do I disgust you?" she sobbed out, some of the initial rage having faded into obvious despair. 

Kira ignored her hysterical questions. He knew it was pointless to try and explain why he hadn't wanted to sleep with her. Kira had never felt entirely safe with her; he was never really able to let his guard down all the way. Flay hadn't understood he wasn't ready the last time they had spoken about it, so there was no way she would hear him now when she was so emotional. Now that he was seeing her more clearly, Kira was thankful that he had trusted himself rather than trying to please her. 

"Listen, Flay," he started softly, "Do you love me?" he asked her. She looked away at the question, avoiding his gaze, distinctly uncomfortable with Kira's directness. 

"I..." she started uncertainly. 

"It's ok. You don't, do you?" Again he kept his tone calm, trying not to incite another panic. 

"No..." she admitted quietly, eyes still looking away from him. 

Kira let out a breath. "I know, I think we haven't been fair to each other. I also, should not have acted as I did." Flay looked at him now, her expression completely forlorn. 

"You don't love me?" she asked in a tone so innocent it nearly tugged at his heart. The venom had melted away from her expression and Kira was left with the Flay he had initially developed feelings for. The person he had believed represented all sides of the red-headed girl. He had been so wrong. 

"I'm sorry, I don't think I could." Kira apologized, being completely honest with her for the first time. He wasn't sure he had room left in his heart for another person, not in the way that Flay had expected anyway. He should not have led Flay to believe he could love her for so long. 

"Oh," is all she managed, eyes watching her fingers wring together. 

Kira wasn't sure what else to say, evidently he had hurt her, but he had done it with the truth. There was nothing he could change or take back to make it better. 

Flay gathered herself together, straightening her skirt unsteadily, and wrapped her arms around herself. She turned to the door to retreat. 

"Wait, where are you going?" Kira called after her. 

She was shaking when she turned back to glance at him. "You're right, Kira. Let's end this," she stated with dead eyes as she walked out his door. It swished with an automated sound behind her. Kira leaned against the headboard of his bed. It was over. 

> _C.E. 71: April 7th, ORB Military Port, 14:00_

"Wow, I can't believe how fast you were typing." 

Kira looked up in surprise to find that he had company. Cagalli had wandered into the Gundam hanger and was leaning over his cockpit on the railing of a lift. Her blond hair was falling around her face and framing her golden eyes in a spiky mess, like a ray of sun peeking in on Kira's cockpit. 

It was early afternoon already, and it was hot. Sitting in the Strike, Kira's orange jumpsuit stuck to his back. His forehead was slick with sweat. The weather outside was pleasant, but the facility where his Gundam was being housed was not so much. 

Kira had been working almost non-stop so that he could finish everything that he needed to before the Archangel left ORB. He was nearly finished compiling the data that Erica Simmons had requested. Upon docking in ORB, she had approached him with several projects. Kira had felt obligated to help as a thank you for the aid the Archangel had received, but also because he personally believed in everything ORB stood for. 

Whatever Kira could do to help ORB defend its ideals, was a task worthy of attention. Most of his time had been spent on developing a mobile suit OS suitable for a natural pilot, but now that he had finished it, Miss Simmons was hoping for the Strike's battle data. She had said that it would help to inform the future production of mobile suits. Understanding how his machine was being used, and what complications he faced would be crucial for any further progress. 

"Oh, I was just wondering who was in the Strike, but I suppose I should have known it would be you, Kira," Cagalli's voice sang out. 

Kira couldn't help but smile. Something about Cagalli always put him at ease. 

Moving about in his mobile suit cockpit Kira continued with his work while talking. "Yeah...they said it would be wise not to wear a military uniform while working here." He cocked his head at her now realizing something. "Listen, isn't it unusual for a real princess to hang out in a place like this?" He still couldn't believe that this rebellious girl before him was royalty. The thought just seemed so ridiculous. Cagalli was fierce, how could she ever carry a title as whimsical and sedentary as a princess? 

Cagalli scoffed and tilted her chin up, looking especially regal. "Excuuuuuse me! And don't call me a princess, or even think of me as one, okay? You don't know how much I hate being called a princess." 

Apparently, they both agreed the fate didn't suit her. Kira just smiled at her again. Same old Cagalli. Though, maybe it was her status that had made her so stubborn. He doubted princesses got challenged enough as children. "But now, everything makes sense! That's why you were at the Morgenroete facility on Heliopolis." For so long he had wondered who she really was, why she had been there that day, though he never expected an answer like this. 

Cagalli cringed a bit at the painful memory. "Now you know...I'd heard rumors that Morgenroete was helping the Earth forces manufacture mobile suits at Heliopolis. I approached my father about it, but he kept changing the subject. That's when I knew; I had to go see for myself." Offering her side of the events to him, she hoped Kira would understand her perspective. So many others had scorned her for her opinions. Everyone still worshiped her father regardless of the mess involving Heliopolis, but Cagalli just wasn't ready to let it go. She had too many unanswered questions. 

"Hm...and you found out," Kira said solemnly. "But your father, uh, Chief Representative Athha didn't know anything about that, did he?" Maybe she was too hard on her father. 

"That's what a lot of people on the inside say, but my father has never actually denied knowing about it," she admitted. Personally, she wished her father had denied it. That would have been so much easier for her. With the way he had left things, Cagalli couldn't help but feel that he did bear some guilt he wasn't admitting to outright. 

Kira looked back up at her surprised again, "What?" Could it be that she was right, and Uzumi had played a hand in the creation of the Earth forces Gundams? 

Cagalli continued in a sullen tone. "He said it didn't matter because everything that happened in the nation was his responsibility and that was that...I...I used to believe him." 

Kira could see this was torturing her. If it had been his father, he probably would have felt similarly. Kira wanted to comfort her. He wanted to do something. "Cagalli, I..." He was interrupted when two mechanics walked under the Strike speaking loudly. 

"It's the same with the rest of the drive system. It's been pushed to its limits. It's like the machine is crying for help!" 

Kira looked away from the blonde ashamed. Why now? 

"Did you hear what those guys said?" Cagalli asked with a surprised, somewhat accusatory tone. Still, Kira would not make eye contact with her, only staring at the Strike's monitor pensively. 

"Maybe so, but there were a lot of people I wasn't able to protect." Kira tried to make Cagalli understand; he felt like he had failed so many people. He should have been able to do better, and yet people still died when he promised he would keep them safe. 

Kira's voice sounded so defeated to her. Cagalli knew he had tried his hardest to protect everyone, and yet... Oh, Kira, she thought. She could see the heartache he was enduring by taking responsibility for the deaths of the civilians from the Archangel and Andrew Waltfeld. Cagalli knew that in neither situation Kira should be held culpable. Those civilians were killed in an accident on the battlefield, and Waltfeld was an enemy, only Kira would expect himself to have been able to save everyone. 

They were taking a break near a few vending machines in a nearly empty recreation hall. Cagalli had stuck around to talk with him some more rather than returning to her official duties, or that's what she had said anyway. Kira was just appreciative of the company. They had been meandering through conversations for hours, but somehow they had found their way to something serious once again. 

"So, is that why you joined the resistance? You ran away because you were fed up?" he asked her, genuinely interested in how out of all people the princess of ORB had wound up in the desert. 

Cagalli bristled, feeling like he might be implying she had been throwing some sort of hissy fit. "Father used to tell me that I had no idea what goes on in the world, so I went to see for myself," she explained. 

"What, that's it?" Kira exclaimed disbelievingly. 

Cagalli sighed, she knew there was more to it, but it wasn't easy to explain. Besides, none of her original reasons mattered anymore. After meeting all those people, and seeing what their lives were like, Cagalli had changed so much. What was the point in talking about her original motives? 

"In the desert, everyone I met fought desperately." She glanced at Kira to find that he was watching her intently. "I mean...their land is just a pile of sand. And yet, they still fought tooth and nail for it." 

Kira's lips pressed together. He knew from experience how little choice those people had in needing to fight. 

Cagalli tucked a blonde lock behind her ear. "Then, I think of ORB. See? With all this power and the things that we can do, we still want to be pals with both the PLANTs and the Earth forces. Doesn't that seem kinda sleazy? Is that the right thing to do?" she demanded of him. 

The lioness wasn't so sure it was. So many people had suffered because ORB had refused to take a side in the war. Sometimes she would get this nagging feeling that the war might not have stretched out so long if ORB had declared loyalties early on. The idea terrified her. 

Kira could see that Cagalli had given these issues a lot of thought, but he wasn't so sure he agreed with her line of thinking. After all, why did there only have to be two sides? Wasn't the world more complicated than just enemies and allies? Being in ORB now was the first time he had felt remotely safe in months, and that was because this country had certain ideals. If ORB suddenly decided they would only protect Naturals or they would just protect Coordinators, he would no longer feel that way. 

Kira's brows furrowed. "Would you rather fight, Cagalli?" 

Her hands clenched. "All I want is to bring the war to an end!" she snapped. 

"We all do..." Cagalli was like him, she didn't want to fight, not really, but somehow they both had ended up doing just that in the protection of the things they believed in. Kira could understand where she was coming from, but it seemed flawed to him. 

His voice rose again "But, it's...just fighting won't end the war...I kinda doubt it. It's too easy." What he did was born out of necessity, but it wasn't going to bring peace. That is why policies like ORB's were so critical. 

The words sounded familiar to the lioness, hadn't her father said something similar? "You think so?" she trembled, feeling foolish, and unsure of herself. 

He smiled at her. "Yeah, I mean otherwise...won't one side have to wipe out the other?" 

Golden eyes widened. 

Kira brushed his fingers across his chin. "Do you remember what Andrew Waltfeld said?" He could tell by the misery on her face that she could recall exactly what the desert tiger had said to them. The man had pointed that gun at their faces and explained that for the war to end one side would have to exterminate the other completely. 

Cagalli wrapped her arms around herself. "What do we do, Kira?" She looked hopelessly at him, that was not a future she could live with. 

Kira felt the same way. "I don't know, but I think we have to trust your father." 

Uzumi Nara Athha might not be perfect, and he very well may have been involved in the creation of those mobile suits, but he was fighting for peace harder than anyone else at the moment. Kira truly believed he could be trusted. He watched Cagalli consider his idea before she nodded in agreement. 

"Okay, Kira. I'll try." 

Kira smiled at her. There was still time before they would need to return to their respective duties. For now, they could hide away together. 

> _C.E. 71: April 9th, ORB Consulate Building, 16:00_

Uzumi Nara Athha walked into a private staff office of the ORB Consulate. 

"You would be the Yamato's, I presume?" The couple sitting on a couch in the unlit room nodded at him. They stood up to greet him with a respectful bow. 

"Lord Uzumi. I believe you promised us that we would never have to meet with you again," Caridad spoke with a coldly removed voice. 

"Call it a twist of fate. I'm sorry to say that the children have met each other, so it couldn't be helped," Uzumi explained offhandedly. 

Caridad exhaled in frustration and worry. That had not been the response she was looking for. Her husband Haruma put his hand on her shoulder to support her. 

Caridad tried again, attempting to confirm Uzumi's intentions. "No matter what happened it would only make things worse if Kira were to discover the truth about the matter." 

Uzumi watched her carefully. "Hm, even the truth about his...sister?" 

This response concerned Caridad. He stated the question as if he was surprised by her, even though they had all agreed to concrete terms so many years ago. Why has he changed his opinion so drastically? She questioned. 

Haruma spoke for her, "I do feel sorry for him, but it's in Kira's best interest." 

Caridad nodded at her husband, silently thanking him for his interjection. She pressed further, "I'll remind you of the promise you made at the beginning. The one where you said that this is the very last time that we would be meeting with you, Lord Uzumi." 

Uzumi sighed, "I understand, but not knowing anything can be a terrible mistake as well. However, it happened. The children have already met, even without knowing each other." At this point, he felt it would be cruel to continue withholding the information from the children. 

Haruma spoke up, clearly annoyed with the other man. "Please sir, don't try to blame all of this on fate. The children will surely sense something if we let ourselves be disturbed by this." 

Uzumi nodded in agreement. "Perhaps," he conceded. "By the way, where is Kira today?" 

The couple tensed at the question. Just what was he getting at? 

"I guess...he doesn't want to see us now," Caridad answered sadly. 

Her heart ached for her son, knowing he must have suffered terribly with everything he had been through. His life had already been far too tragic. She had tried to protect him from the terrible truth of his birth for so long. Caridad just hoped she was doing the right thing now that he had somehow 

found his sister and become so involved with the war. 

> _C.E. 71: April 9th, Orb Military Port, 18:00_

"Hey, Kira," Mwu's voice echoed through the compound. 

"Uh, what is it, sir?" Kira asked distractedly by a drinking fountain. He had been leaning down to take a sip when the Commander had stopped in front of him. 

Mwu settled his hands on his hips, getting straight to the point. "You've got this look on your face that says something's bothering you." 

Kira tried to play it off, attempting to walk past Mwu back towards the Strike. "Uh, I don't have any look." 

Mwu didn't seem satisfied. He trailed behind Kira as he walked out of the hangar door. Birdy was looping through the air by Kira's side. 

"Oh yes, you do. And I hear that you've turned down the chance to meet with your parents. Why is that?" 

No response came. 

This question again? Kira thought. He wished everyone would just back down; he would tell them the things he was comfortable sharing. Wasn't that enough? 

"Kira," Mwu pushed. 

Kira's shoulder tensed and voice darkened as he spoke to Mwu, "If I did meet with them all they would see is a soldier." Trying to move on, he climbed into the Strike intending to run some further checks on the momentum control parameters. He wanted to make sure the Strike was completely ready to go back into battle once the Archangel had to leave ORB. 

It wouldn't be much longer now. 

Mwu wasn't ready to give up. He followed him up to the maintenance lift where Cagalli had accompanied Kira earlier that week so that he could still see Kira as he got nestled into the Strike's cockpit below. Birdy perched on Mwu's shoulder as if to watch over his owner. 

"You may be a soldier, but you're still the same, Kira. I'm sure your parents were hoping they would get a chance to see you." Mwu tried to make Kira see himself the way he saw him, just some kind kid who was thrown into a chaotic situation and had dealt with it to the best of his abilities. 

The boy didn't seem so sure though. He refused to look up at Mwu as he continued typing. "Day in and day out, this is all I do. I fight battles in mobile suits and then help out with their development and maintenance. Why? Because I can." 

"Kira," Mwu warned. He hated to hear the kid talk about himself as if he was a machine rather than a person. Had he failed Kira by not helping him deal well enough with the psychological burden of war? 

The brunette's nose pinched. "As soon as we leave ORB, I'll be going into battle against ZAFT again," Kira reminded. 

"Well yeah, but that's..." What is he trying to say? Mwu wondered. 

"I'm afraid that if I met them now, I'd end up asking them why." Kira's answers only brought out more questions for Mwu. 

He looked down at him in confusion, voicing his thoughts, "Why what?" 

Kira stopped working. His expression was vague as he stared off at something not visible to Mwu. 

"Why the hell did they make me a coordinator?" 

The question hung heavily in the air. 

Mwu could only gape at Kira's sudden seriousness, but before he had the chance to try responding, Birdy took off from his shoulder. 

"Birdy," it sang out as it fled. 

Kira looked up just in time to see it soar away. 

"Hey! Birdy?" he called after his friend. The mechanical bird didn't listen to him as it jolted directly out of the facility. 

Kira darted after it, ignoring Mwu as he called his name. 

An icy panic had set into his bones. He couldn't lose Birdy; it was all he had left of Athrun. He just couldn't. 

Dashing out the doors to the hanger, cool air hitting his heated skin, Kira looked around having lost sight of the bird. 

"Oh for...where can it be," he mumbled to himself while tugging anxiously at his hair. 

His eyes scanned the area before coming to rest on a familiar figure in the distance. That stunning midnight blue hair, those eyes, each feature identical to the boy always rooted in his mind's eye. 

His heart stopped as his brain started checking to see if he imagined things. It wouldn't have been the first time he had wished that emerald-eyed boy into existence. He had seen him on the faces of countless random strangers. 

But, no...as the figure grew closer he could see that same controlled expression which always graced his friend's face. It is him! He was sure of it. 

Kira gasped, his whole body was suddenly alert. What should I do? Athrun was right across the compound, and he was walking towards him. 

He's holding something...is that Birdy? Oh, Athrun, he thought, his fingers tingling to reach out and feel the other boy. 

For all those years, Birdy had given him the sweet gentleness of Athrun's memory and the comforting promise of his eventual return. He had never let go of the thing because giving up Birdy would have been indistinguishable from giving up hope that Athrun would ever come back to him. 

Kira hadn't given up. He wasn't completely sure he was even capable of doing so. Athrun was a part of him. 

Before he could stop himself, his feet were moving towards Athrun, his body instinctively trying to close the distance between them. He's so close now. I could almost... 

Athrun stopped when he reached the fence. 

They stared at each other, neither knowing what to say. What words could describe what he had been through, or how he felt now? Kira found himself blinking back tears, and Athrun had noticed. His expression softened at the sight. 

Holding Birdy out for Kira, Athrun asked, "Is this... yours?" 

Kira gazed at him, So that's how he's going to be? As if he doesn't even know me? Is that what you want, Athrun? Kira swallowed before responding. 

"Thank you...yes." 

Birdy flew across the fence back into Kira's outstretched hand. He clutched the robot, bringing his other arm protectively around the tiny bird, refusing to let it go again. Athrun stood there watching him. Unable to pull himself away. 

From far off, someone yelled, "C'mon! Let's go!" 

Athrun turned to look at Yzak already loaded into a vehicle with his other teammates, and he started moving away, but Kira panicked. His heart raced, knowing that he couldn't let him leave, not when they had just found each other again. 

He said the first thing that came to mind, "Ah-an old friend...gave it to me." 

Athrun stilled abruptly, turning back to look at Kira again. His eyes were searching. 

Kira continued, "It's a valuable gift, from a valuable friend." The brunette tried to pour everything he felt for the other into his eyes. He wanted so badly to make Athrun stay, if just a little longer. He needed to tell him that he loved him and he wouldn't fight him anymore. To run into those arms and never let go. 

"I see..." Athrun uttered, turning again and getting ready to walk away. 

Kira's chest pounded not knowing what to do. 

"Kira!" It was Cagalli. She had come out of nowhere and was running towards him. 

He stood paralyzed. 

Athrun turned back in surprise at the appearance of the blonde. Cagalli had made it to Kira's side, but he stood gaze fixed on Athrun's retreating form. 

"Is that...Athrun?" She called to him across the fence. 

Now Kira turned to her, shock written all over his face. 

Athrun too turned back at the sound of his name. That girl, it's the one from the island. But, wasn't she... 

The bluenette tilted his head. "Cagalli?" 

"It is you! What are you doing here in ORB? Aren't you with ZAFT?" 

His eyes widened not knowing what to say. Was this it? Would he be discovered as a spy now? "I..." He started not sure how to respond without incriminating himself. 

"Wait!" Kira interrupted. "How do you know him?" he demanded. 

"This guy, he...well we met on the island my Skygrasper crashed on." 

Kira's stood back, body lurching with his shock. "You, what! But, that's crazy!" 

Cagalli looked offended. "Oh, yeah?" She scoffed, moving her hands to her hips, and jutting her chest out. "Well, if you hadn't taken so long to find me, maybe we wouldn't have met?" she bit back at him. 

Athrun found himself chuckling at their antics. When was the last time he has seen Kira so animated? His heart warmed at the nostalgic scene. I've missed this, he realized. The arguing pair looked back over at him, Cagalli in annoyance, and Kira in something close to awe. 

Athrun sighed, feeling the tension leaving his body. "A princess, Kira?" 

Kira's face turned red, mouth falling open at the teasing tone. Athrun, is he... joking with me? 

"Hey! What are you implying with that? And don't call me a princess!" Cagalli flailed her arms defensively at him before her brain processed his words fully. She slowed her movements as confusion filled her. "Wait, do you...do you know each other?" 

Her question was met by a renewed and somber mood. Neither one was willing to explain anything to her. 

Kira took a breath "Yes, I know him." 

His words did nothing to alleviate the confusion on Cagalli's face. "B-but, how?" she stammered. 

It was Athrun that answered this time, "Kira and I... we've been friends a long time." he spoke while looking at the ground, his tone even, but the way he had said it...Kira's heart filled with hope hearing Athrun speak in the present tense. Does that mean it isn't over? Could Athrun not despise me for everything I've done? 

"Athrun and I, we are the best of friends," Kira confirmed. Now, gazing back into the larger boy's eyes each of them soundlessly trying to remind the other of their devotion. 

"Kira," Athrun breathed out in a tender voice his eyes now filling with tears as well. 

Cagalli watched the two as their faces moved through emotions. She could see there was a lot that she was missing. These two– it's like they're having a conversation without speaking. She suddenly felt she was interrupting something very private. 

The lioness bit her lip. "But, he pilots the Aegis...Haven't you two been fighting all this time?" 

Both boys grimaced at the reminder. 

"Yes," Kira croaked. 

"W-What that's insane!" Cagalli couldn't understand how this could happen. If they were friends, how could they fight each other? Kira turned to her, tears now streaming down his cheeks. His fists were clenched in anger. 

"It's not as if I want to fight Athrun!" 

Cagalli shrunk, she had hardly ever seen him lose his calm demeanor. What's really going on 

here, she wondered. 

"I know, but..." 

"Should I have just left everyone to die?" Kira barked. "Should I have just let Tolle, Mir, Sai, and Kuzzy be destroyed at Heliopolis?" His voice was raised, and he was stepping towards her now. Cagalli moved back in fear. Something had broken in Kira's expression. His eyes were lit up in anguish and fury; he seemed to be ready to launch himself at her. 

"So...instead you fought me, is that it? Because it's okay for me to die?" Athrun's question seemed to pierce through Kira. He stopped his advance on Cagalli, taking a sharp intake of breath, and all that wild fury flooded out of his body in waves, as his eyes filled with tears again. 

"No, Athrun. I-" he stammered, but his words were slightly garbled by the tears he was choking back. 

"Don't lie to me, Kira!" Athrun shouted at him. 

"I'm not!" Kira cried back. "It's just that, well, they're Naturals. They can't..." he trailed off. 

"They can't defend themselves? Is that it?" 

Kira nodded sadly. 

"I've been trying to protect them," he whispered. Looking up into those stunning green eyes still peering at him, as if asking how he could have betrayed him. Kira clenched his fists again. "I just, I don't want anyone else to die!" His voice had turned raspy, scratching with the fear of losing someone else. 

Athrun stood transfixed at the sight of Kira's declaration. He couldn't deny that he was angry. When had Kira become so stubborn? This dogged refusal to ignore reason was maddening for the bluenette. He had tried everything. How many times had he begged the other to lay down his arms and surrender himself? 

But no...he had refused to let himself be taken. It was all for those friends he kept mentioning, some pathetic Naturals who couldn't even protect themselves. Relying on Kira to shield them from the consequences of their own barbaric decisions. How could Kira so easily eschew himself of their friendship for the sake of some Earth Forces soldiers? Did he mean so little to the other? Those amethyst eyes said differently. They held every ounce of warmth that they used to. So what had changed? 

He jolted only when the blaring of a loud horn interrupted his wonderment. 

"Move it Zala! How long are you gonna make us wait?" It was Yzak again, shouting furiously at having been ignored for so long. 

Athrun started moving away without any conscious thought; his mind shifted back into that of a soldier. 

"No!" Kira's panicked voice called after him. 

The smaller boy threw himself up against the fence trying to slow their distancing. 

Athrun ignored the sound of distress, not allowing himself to be confused anymore. 

"Wait! Athrun don't go!" Kira's voice broke in desperation, but Athrun refused to turn back. Steeling himself to continue moving towards his teammates was possible only through sheer force of will. 

This is wrong. Things didn't work this way. 

When Kira called for him, he answered. That was how the world was supposed to work. A lifetime of carefully practiced self-discipline could not block out these thoughts. If he had allowed himself to unguard his heart and remember what he had lost when he already knew there was no solution for them, well, the pain would have suffocated him. 

Kira had made his choice. Staying any longer would just destroy what little was left of him. 

So Athrun kept moving, numbing himself to the hysterical sounds he was leaving in his wake. 

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're one of the people who were waiting for this fic to go back up, drop me a comment below, or reach out to me on social media. Most of the time I was writing this, it felt like I was posting to a vacuum. It was pretty discouraging, to be honest. So when I got a bunch of DMs on ff (dot) net asking where this fic went, I was actually really surprised. What did you like about this fic? Let me know if it's worth it to dig up the rest of the chapters. I don't know any other AsuKira, or even Gundam Seed fans, so come talk to me! 
> 
> #Peace and love


	2. Enemy Ties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All the **** hits the fan and Kira goes down

> _ C.E. 71: April 9th, Orb Military Port, 19:00  _

"Kira?" Cagalli softly questioned the still frozen boy clinging to the fence. She reached out to comfort him, waking him out of his daze with a touch to his shoulder. Kira flinched away, crumpling to his knees. Heavy sobs wracked his body, as he clung to himself while huddled up against the fence. 

"He's gone," Kira whispered, oblivious to his blonde witness. He buried his face between his knees, rocking himself as he cried. "He's gone again." 

"Kira!" Cagalli didn't know what to do. Kira was falling apart in front of her. When she had found him on the upper deck of the Archangel, torturing himself over the death of Waltfeld, well, he had seemed like a mess at the time. Even then, she hadn't actually seen him crying. It looked like he may have been, but the only signs he gave away to hint at his tormented mind were a pair of reddened eyes and a far-off gaze. 

This was something different. Whatever it was that had held Kira together long enough to get through all of the battles he had to fight, and to deal with the impossible decisions he had needed to make, that level-headed restraint was utterly gone now. It had shattered, leaving nothing but unbridled misery. 

Cagalli crouched down next to him, wrapping him in her arms and hugging him to her chest. 

"Please Kira, shhh it's going to be okay." She rocked with him, but he wasn't calming. 

Kira threw himself into her arms, desperately seeking out comfort. Only, it wasn't her that he wanted. It was Athrun. It had always been Athrun, and yet he was alone. Kira needed the bluenette then so badly he felt like he might die without him. 

"It's alright Kira, this is just a panic attack. It will pass, just breathe." She urged him with her own breathing exaggerated. 

"It's going to be alright." She soothed him over and over, rubbing his back and helping him steady his heartrate. 

> _ C.E. 71: April 9th, Orb Military Port, 19:00  _

Athrun climbed deliriously into the back seat of the car his teammates were piled into. 

"Finally, jeez. What were you even talking to those two about?" Dearka asked him in that ever sardonic tone of his. 

Athrun didn't respond. His face was vacant as he stared out the window opposite the fence in the lot, thoughts still lost in a storm of emotions. His mind was burning with the soldered image of Kira's watery amethyst eyes desperate and begging him to stay. 

Athrun could still vividly remember the long hours he had spent working on the bird at his dormitory desk. Past the synthetic fabric of the dorm curtains, he had been able to see a crack of light from outside, peeking through the overgrown limbs of a tree. The courtyard had been filled by wisteria trees with vines that climbed across the surface of the building. 

While Athrun had worked on Birdy, the light from his window to the courtyard had been the only thing to indicate the many hours passing. All spent hoping that Kira liked Birdy. That he wouldn't cry when Athrun told him he was leaving because he didn't want to hurt him. But also wishing that he would cry, because if he didn't, Athrun knew there wouldn't be anything to keep himself from falling apart. 

That was kind of like now. Kira was crying, so he didn't have to. 

Athrun clenched his teeth, attempting to contain his staggering distress. He pulled thick walls around his heart to lock away his emotions, to stop feeling. 

"What's with him?" Dearka jeered. 

Nicol studied his teammate's expression, trying to decipher what he was thinking. But Athrun, who had been raised under the brutal hand of Patrick Zala, had long ago learned to keep his features carefully schooled, disregarding his internal torment. Nicol never really had any hope of figuring his solitary Commander out unless Athrun were to willingly let him in. 

> _ C.E. 71: April 9th, Orb Military Port, 20:00  _

It had taken some time, but Cagalli had managed to lead Kira back to a somewhat calm state. They sat on the tarmac outside the compound, which had now cooled under their skin after the sun had set. Neither was willing to go back to work just yet. Both slouched lazily against the fence staring at nothing. 

"How are you feeling?" Cagalli whispered. 

"Hmm, I'm ok," he reassured her, but his tone was so dark she couldn't quite believe him. 

"Kira," she said his name with so much concern that he felt himself brimming with guilt. 

"Why did you never mention..." Cagalli trailed off. 

He sighed, knowing that he would have to answer eventually. "Because there was no option but to fight. I begged Athrun to stop over and over, but he never listened. I don't think he could. Talking about it...well, it was hard enough to fight him. I-I think I couldn't bear to make it any more real." 

"Don't you think the others would want to know that they have been firing on your closest friend?" 

Kira's expression descended into gloom. "If they were to hesitate to fire on Athrun, they would die. Athrun would shoot them down because they are Earth Forces soldiers, and they are his enemies." 

With those words, Cagalli began to understand what Kira was thinking. He had been trying to protect the crew of the Archangel from the knowledge so that they wouldn't get themselves killed. But he had needed to keep the entire burden on himself in order to do that. Clearly, he had suffered from it. But there were still things which were not clear. Kira described Athrun as such a ruthless figure, and yet he had been so hysterical only a few moments ago when the other had left him. 

"Why don't you hate him?" 

Kira smiled sadly. 

"Hate him? I just couldn't. Athrun believes he is doing the right thing. If he is cruel, it is because he thinks that is what he needs to do in order to protect the PLANT's." 

"Hmm, when we were on the island he told me his mother was killed at Junius Seven..." 

"Yes," Kira swallowed. Athrun had told him about his mother in one of their first battles. The news still ached. He had always thought of her as an aunt. Kira could still clearly picture the woman who looked so much like his friend. 

Lenore had always been kind to him, and Kira had appreciated the softening effect she had on Athrun's father. Without her by his side, the elder Zala was truly terrifying. Kira wondered how much worse he must be now that Lenore was gone, and what Athrun might have needed to endure as a result. One of the earliest things Kira had ever respected Athrun for, was his ability to stand his ground under Patrick Zala's intimidating glare. But hadn't his friend followed his father's wishes and joined ZAFT? 

"I can't imagine what he must be feeling," Cagalli pulled at the ends of her hair. "This whole thing is such a mess." 

Kira could only nod dispassionately, feeling like someone had ripped out his heart and thrown it against the wall. 

> _ C.E. 71: April 10th, Outside ORB's Border, Gamow, 14:00  _

Nicol stepped out onto the deck, the sun was still relatively high in the sky, and the water was calm all around the ship. Spotting Athrun taking refuge on the deck staring pensively out at the ocean, Nicol jogged up to the other. 

"Athrun! Hey, are we finished with the resupply yet?" 

Nicol's Commander turned to him with an analytical gaze that felt far too seeing for the brandy-eyed boy's comfort. 

"All done," the bluenette confirmed. 

Trying to distract from the intensity of Athrun's stare, Nicol tried a light-hearted subject. "We can see a school of flying fish just over there," he said pointing to the other side of the deck. "C'mon check it out," Nicol urged his superior. 

"No thanks," he said peering back at the sea. Watching the waves had brought back unwanted memories, filling his heart with longing. 

Athrun was curled up in his desk chair hunched over a textbook trying to finish reviewing the last chapter. Their dorm room was dimly lit with a few lamps, it had grown rather late but they still had a bit more studying to do. Kira, who was sprawled out on Athrun's bed, had become completely uncooperative. The boy had been fooling around for the past hour, seemingly having decided that he had studied enough for one night. The brunette had already abandoned his textbook altogether. Listening to Athrun read through a passage he had already memorized, he was nibbling on his pencil trying to see how far he could bend backward off of the lifted mattress without falling. His friend always forced them to study like this. Athrun was always so intent on perfection when it came to grades. 

Kira balanced the pencil between his lips, reaching his fingers back to skim the carpet leisurely. 

Athrun peeked up at him, and quickly looked away, having caught a glimpse of exposed tawny skin from where Kira's pajama shirt was riding up. The sight had stirred something in him that he needed to gulp down. 

Finding his hands slightly shaky on his textbook, Athrun tried to carry on. "What is the cause of Earth's ocean tides?" 

Kira plucked the pencil out from between his lips. "The pull of gravity from the moon causes a rise and fall in the sea level on Earth." 

The azure haired boy cleared his throat, making an effort to focus. "That's correct." 

Kira remained half hanging off the bed swaying his arms around the carpet. "Athrun, what do you think the floor of the ocean looks like?" he asked with genuine curiosity. 

The bluenette paused, considering the question for a moment. "Hm, I think some parts are as deep as eleven kilometers." 

"But, do you think it looks the same as the surface of the moon?" 

Athrun realized he had no idea. His mind had hardly spared any thought to information that wasn't written explicitly in the textbook. His main concern had been memorizing everything which would be on his exams so he could stay at the top of the class. Kira never thought like that though. The violet-eyed boy was far more imaginative, always seeking to fill in information gaps not readily supplied. It was something he loved about his friend, his instinctive rebelliousness towards their regulated education. Kira always noticed things he didn't, always asked questions he would never have even thought of. Sure, Athrun could work through logical proofs and theorems in moments, but he would never obsess over why he needed to do the work, or what it would all mean once a problem was solved. One way or another, Kira invariably got caught up in such reflections. 

"Athrun?" 

The bluenette looked up at his friend, having gotten lost in his thoughts. 

Kira had sat upright on the bed, tilting his head and pouting ever so slightly. "Can we go to sleep now?" They had been through all the material multiple times, both of them had memorized everything they would need to know. It seemed unnecessary to continue studying any longer. 

The larger boy nodded, closing his textbook and resting it on his desktop. Kira scooted over in Athrun's bed to create some room for his companion. He liked this bed more than his own. It may sound strange, but just knowing that it belonged to the other made it special somehow. The way it smelled made him feel cozy and so he always woke up well rested whenever he shared the bed with Athrun. 

The bluenette tucked them under his blankets, huddling around his friend's bundled form. 

Athrun yanked himself out of his meditation. No! his mind blared. He wouldn't think of him anymore. He needed to seal off that part of his heart if he was going to survive. 

"What is it, is something wrong?" Nicol had noticed the serious atmosphere hanging around the bluenette now. Nicol wondered what could be spinning through that head. What had been torturing his Commander so much lately? 

"Hn," he breathed in response, mildly surprised at Nicol's concern for him and unsure of what to say. So much time had passed since someone had worried about how he was feeling. The azure haired boy wondered if he deserved such concerns. 

"Everything will be fine," Nicol assured, recapturing Athrun's attention. "I believe in you Athrun. Oops! I should have said Commander Zala," Nicol's eyes sparkled as he teased making Athrun smile. 

There was something so youthfully honest about Nicol that made it difficult for Athrun to remain guarded. 

With the sun setting a little lower in the sky, they drifted into a comfortable silence watching the ocean. 

The sea was ebbing around them. Athrun felt the beginnings of serenity wash over him. It had been a very long time since he had enjoyed any peace of mind, and with everything that had happened, it almost didn't feel right to have it now. 

Like he didn't deserve it. 

"Why did you volunteer for the military, Nicol?" Athrun asked what he had been wondering for some time. The brandy-eyed soldier was so soft, it just made no sense to see him in a red coat. 

"Hn?" Nicol was surprised at the question. 

"Oh, I beg your pardon. It's none of my business," Athrun apologized having forgotten not to ask for personal information from his fellow soldiers. He should have known that Nicol would take offense to him prying. 

"It's okay." Nicol didn't mind sharing. Athrun wasn't like the others. There was something more thoughtful and considerate about him. Sure, Nicol could see that the bluenette had rage. They all did. He really couldn't blame him for that. But, unlike Athrun, so many of the other soldiers were bloodthirsty. As if they wanted to wipe out every Natural on Earth, and even though Nicol could see why they may feel that way, the thought truly scared him. 

"I guess, I felt that I should do my part and join the fight after I heard about Junius Seven." It was the truth. He had felt the need to take some responsibility for the safety of his homeland. The PLANT's couldn't allow another genocide to ever occur again, and Nicol had felt an obligation to help. "And you?" 

"The very same reason Nicol," Athrun said looking Nicol in the eyes for the first time in nearly a week. 

The green-haired boy smiled wistfully at his Commander. Athrun was always such a mystery. It was so difficult to decode what was on his mind. 

Lately, something had definitely been going on, but Nicol had no idea what. Despite all his training and undeniable skill Athrun had been clearly holding back in their recent battles. His demeanor had been growing darker and darker as well. Then, the other day by the hangars in ORB, something about Athrun's encounter with that stranger had shaken him. Nicol only wished he knew what it was so that he could help him. If only Athrun would talk to him about it. 

> _ C.E. 71: April 10th, ORB Military Port, Archangel, 15:00  _

Kira wandered through the halls of the Archangel, heading to his room. He wanted to grab some shut-eye before they left ORB. He knew they would have to go straight into battle. Athrun had seen him, and so he would assemble his soldiers on the border. Kira needed to be rested before that happened. 

"Hey, kid!" Mwu flagged Kira down. "Head out to the upper deck, Captain's orders!" 

"Hn, why?" Kira drawled. What is it now? 

"Don't ask me," Mwu threw up his hands, walking the other way. 

The moment Kira stepped out onto the deck he heard Cagalli shouting his name. 

He saw her running towards the Archangel from the port bridge, in her full military garb, golden hair blowing around her face as she raced towards him. The sky loomed over him, strangely bright and in conflict with his mood. 

"Cagalli, what are you doing?" Kira asked, his voice revealing the true extent of his surprise. 

Birdy flapped its wings next to his head, seemingly mimicking his surprise with a call of, "Birdy!" 

"Wait, your parents are here. They're right up there, look!" She pointed at the military building opposite the port. 

"Huh?" Kira jerked his neck toward the large windows. It was a bit difficult to see through the glass, a great deal of sunlight was reflected back at him, but if he looked closely he could make out their familiar forms. There stood his parents amongst Chief Representative Athha, Miss Simmons, and Colonel Kisaka. His mom had her hand on the glass of the window looking as if she had been calling out to him, and his father was waving at him with a sad smile. 

The scene struck Kira with guilt, and with his face revealing his troubled mind his parents noticed the change in their son. Caridad looked as if she had let out a cry shielding her eyes from Kira's view. His father simply continued smiling at him, giving him a reassuring nod. 

Seeing both of them like this had not been the plan. 

"Why..." Cagalli tried to catch her breath as she emerged from the deck staircase. She straightened up. "Why won't you see them?" 

Kira did not respond. 

"Say something, Kira!" 

"L-look, could you tell them 'sorry, but not now'...for me? Please." 

She just looked at him baffled, questions written all over her face. Was he trying to shut her out again? Hadn't he learned his lesson yet? 

Kira tried to hold back the swell of emotion bursting in his chest. With a quavering voice, he made an effort to answer her, "I don't think...right now is..." his voice stiffened with repressed tears pooling at the corners of his eyes. 

She noticed the change in his demeanor. "Okay," she assured him. Her friend had once again come to the brink of misery right before her. Kira seemed so frail like he might crumble into nothing if he had to endure anything else. 

The violet-eyed boy nodded fighting to regain control of himself and began to exit the deck. "Take care of yourself Cagalli, and thanks for everything," he added softly, silently praying that it wouldn't be long before he would see her again. Kira wasn't sure exactly how to explain it, but Cagalli had become greatly important to him. The lioness had offered him compassion and friendship, expecting nothing in return. She made him feel like he was tied to something rather than some nameless soldier who would die and be forgotten. Cagalli reminded him that he was a whole person, and she had accepted the weakness he had shown. 

"Kira!" Cagalli cried out, unwilling to let him just walk away from her. 

He turned around at her outburst just in time to catch her as she threw herself into his arms. "Wha!" 

She wrapped her arms around his neck, squeezing against him. "Listen, don't get killed?" 

Kira smiled, heartwarming at the clear concern in her voice. "Don't you worry. Nothing's gonna happen to me." 

She pulled away a bit so that she could examine the expression in his eyes. Hesitantly she started, "I- I think you should tell Flay about Athrun." 

The brunette just shook his head, mouth pursed. "No, I don't think so." 

"Kira, you can't keep handling everything all on your own! It's too much for one person. You have to let someone in!" He's so frustrating. Kira is always trying to play the hero by taking everything on himself, but just look at him! This is obviously killing him, she was afraid to leave him alone with no one to help him carry his burdens. Flay certainly wasn't her favorite person, but Kira had chosen to be with her. She might be able to help if he were willing to open up to the red-head. 

Kira looked steadily at her, he really couldn't deny anything she had said. "Maybe you're right, but I ended it with Flay." 

It took a moment for his words to process in her mind. They came at her so unexpectedly, she wasn't sure she had really heard them. "You what?" Cagalli exclaimed releasing his neck. 

Kira combed his fingers through his chocolate tresses with a sigh. "We should never have started anything. I told her it was a mistake," he said as if the whole matter was simple. 

Cagalli spluttered at his laid back behavior before giving up with a loud exhalation. "I bet she didn't like that," she scoffed, her mind still spinning from the absurdity of everything happening around the brunette. 

Kira's grimaced remembering Flay's wild tear-strewn face. "No..she didn't. But...I don't think I really loved her, nor did she love me." It was the only explanation he could offer her. 

Cagalli nodded and tried to show her understanding. "I never liked her anyway," she said with a sad grin. 

The brunette laughed with her. Being with Cagalli, and seeing the easy way she dealt with everything filled his chest with relief. An honest chuckle at the absolute ridiculousness of life erupted from his belly. 

That priceless sound, Cagalli thought, it is glorious. 

He squeezed her one last time thanking the stars for having met a friend like her. 

> _ C.E. 71: April 10th, Exiting ORB Waters, Archangel, 17:00  _

Murdoch spotted Kira calmly walking over to the Strike already dressed completely in his flight suit and helmet. 

Kira had barely rested, unable to make his mind slow down his racing thoughts. His head kept replaying the look of betrayed in Athrun's fiery eyes. A dull headache had built up behind his eyes, his stomach felt soupy, all the anxiety in his chest had filled it with bile. The sensation left him queasy, wanting to retch, but having nothing in his stomach to empty. 

The Archangel had started moving, it was only moments now before they would be fighting for their lives again. 

"How come you're all dressed up kid?" Murdoch called out across the hanger. "We haven't received any orders yet." 

Kira didn't bother looking up at the man. "As soon as we cross the border ZAFT will attack us," he said in a level voice. 

"Hnn?" The kid's certainty confused Murdoch. The Captain had told him that a ZAFT engagement was very unlikely considering all of the diplomatic conversations which had taken place after the Archangel had been secretly let into ORB. 

Kira paid him no regard and brushed past him climbing into the cockpit of the Strike. 

Moments later the ship's intercom announced, "All crew must prepare for undersea and air battle." 

"What!" Murdoch shouted in surprise. What the hell, does the kid have telepathy? 

Kira mumbled to himself as he typed at his mobile suit's keyboard, "Connecting power conduits, auxiliary power online. The Strike is standing by and ready." 

"Okay Strike, you're clear to head out," Miriallia's clear voice rang out over his comm. 

Kira prepared himself mentally for the onset of battle as he engaged the Gundam's phase shift armor 

and launched. 

Tolle would be entering this battle as well. He was just meant to provide air support for the Strike, but the thought of Tolle out in the fray made him nervous. He would have to keep a close eye on the boy. 

Athrun, am I going to have to fight you again? 

Kira's hands laid ready over his keyboard, although he was thinking about the warm light ebbing off of the sun as it receded into the distance down the horizon, and the smell of freshly bloomed cherry blossoms permeating the air. The Strike smelled like diesel, still, Kira's mind could effortlessly conjure every detail of the last time they were truly together. 

Pink petals were dancing in the late spring wind, the faint rustle of grass, and the almost imperceptible sigh of blossoms opening. Kira gazed at his best friend through eyes brimming with tears. 

"The PLANT's and Earth will see eye to eye. There will be no war." Athrun was trying to reassure him, catching a shimmering tear as it skimmed down his best friend's chubby cheek. Only, the war wasn't the reason for Kira's tears. Athrun was leaving him. His family was moving away because his father had an important role to play in foreign policy between the two nations. Athrun, who felt like the other half of his heart, the piece needed to make it whole, was leaving him. 

"The evacuation doesn't mean a thing," Athrun continued trying to console him. He opened his palms and something flew out to land in Kira's hands. He looked at it in wonder, as his emerald-eyed friend smiled at his reaction. 

The bird chirped its own name at him in a sound which the smaller boy would forever associate with his closest friend. 

Kira closed his eyes for a moment, his mind having run over that one melancholy memory for the thousandth time. He wanted so badly to feel that same wind, to have his senses filled with cherry blossoms, even if it meant saying goodbye once more. He would bear it. This right now, having to fight Athrun, was far worse than any amount of goodbyes. 

Was Athrun going to try and kill him? Kira wasn't sure if that was something which he could truly make himself believe. How could the one person whom he trusted beyond all others, and had always represented complete safety to him, possibly be his enemy? But there he was, mounted on a Guul, flying towards him with the Blitz, Duel, and Buster at his flanks. His enemy. 

Forcing himself to let go of every thought that was not keeping everyone aboard the Archangel alive, Kira surged forwards with a battle cry. 

He was vastly outnumbered. Knowing his best chance in this fight would be to separate the machines, Kira activated his high-energy beam rifle. He plowed the Strike into the Buster knocking the machine off of its Guul, effectively making his compound gun useless for the air battle. Then, Kira shot at the Duel's blaster causing a refractory explosion as it took out his Guul as well. The Aegis and Blitz scattered just in time to get away from any further attacks. 

"Holy shit! Where did the E.A. find this guy?" Nicol shouted out one of his rarely uttered curses watching in amazement as the Strike dominated the sky. 

Athrun honestly couldn't blame him because he had been thinking the same thing. Where exactly had Kira learned to fight this well? Violence was completely out of his nature. 

"Strike stand by to convert to Aile mode," Mirialia's voice sang out. Having used up the charge of the beam rifle Kira needed to change gears to take on the Blitz and the Aegis. 

Kira positioned his mobile suit to leap into the air towards the coordinates where Commander La Flaga dropped the Aile Striker pack and attached the wings. The pack would improve his air battle capabilities, though it would not be enough for true flight. Still, he was grateful for the enhancement. 

"He just changed his equipment in mid-air," Nicol noted over the comm system in complete astonishment. 

Athrun too was shocked at the battle fortitude his friend had been showing. He still couldn't understand how someone who had always hated any form of confrontation and received no special training could possibly operate the Strike effectively, let alone displaying the sheer mastery that Kira was. 

Taking off out of the Archangel's vicinity Kira charged for the Blitz, but it managed to dodge the initial contact. 

Tolle watched anxiously as he saw the fight unravel into a desperate brawl. The Strike was clearly struggling to hold back both the Blitz and the Aegis. 

Diving in, the Skygrasper entered the battle, launching a missile at the Blitz. The shot connected. It caused an explosion by the mobile suit's head and knocked the entire machine off-kilter. 

"Damn!" Nicol cursed, his body tossed about in his cockpit. He felt something cut his shoulder. That machine just won't go down, he thought while gritting his teeth. 

"Ahhh, bastard!" Nicol shouted pounding commands into his Gundam's computer and lunging for the Skygrasper. 

"No, Tolle!" Kira caught the machine in time, slicing off its left arm making it impossible for it to fire on Tolle, and heaving the Blitz off its Guul by sheer force of impact. The Gundam fell into the ocean below with Nicol screaming in mixed fear and pain. 

"Kira, you did it!" Tolle cried over the comms unit. Kira secured the Strike into the Blitz's forfeited Guul and rocketed towards Athrun. 

"Fuck!" Athrun growled to himself slamming his fists against the wall of his cockpit. Why did it have to be this way? Why was Kira fighting him so hard? 

As he locked onto the Strike, he flew his Guul closer so that he could engage in close combat. Kira reacted quickly, blasting Athrun's Guul with his own. 

Athrun leaped off the sub flight system allowing it to crash directly into the one Kira had seized, forcing the Strike to also abandon the attachment. Both Guuls exploded upon impact with one another. 

Athrun converted his Aegis into its mobile armor form, shooting his Scylla energy cannon directly at the Strike. Kira dodged, retreating back to the Archangel so that they could cover him with fire from the Gottfried cannons. 

The Skygrasper appeared in the Strikes camera. "Kira, I'm sending the sword over to you." 

"Thanks, Tolle!" Kira caught the sword in a swift movement, steeling himself against the onslaught of emotions coming up. He had to fight, he had no other choice. If he didn't, everyone on the Archangel could die. 

> _ C.E. 71: April 10th, Outside ORB's Borders, 20:00  _

Athrun had been forced to land on a small island near the battle. Without his Guul, he couldn't stay airborne long. His control monitor blinked a battery warning at him, but there was no time to retreat. The Strike was coming at him from above with a sword attachment readied for an attack. 

"Athrun!" Kira shouted. He connected with the red machine. 

An explosion separated them momentarily, forcefully throwing Kira's head back into his seat. The dizzying momentum made him hurl, stomach convulsing in a gag, without anything to spit up. 

Moving through the dust that had been kicked up from the bedrock beneath them Athrun took a swing at the other machine. 

"Retreat already!" Kira cried. "This battle is over," he moaned through another set of dry heaves. 

"Shut up," Athrun growled back at him. 

"Athrun, stop! I don't want to fight you anymore," he begged. 

Athrun swung at him with his beam saber. Kira leaped into the air aiming his sword at the shoulder joint of the Aegis. 

"It's too late, c'mon and shoot me!" he cried out, thrusting his beam saber at the Strike, barraging it in attacks. 

Kira twisted the Gundam away from the attack, hurling the weight of the Strike forward, he punched the Aegis in the face driving it back. It propelled towards the ground, crashing into the rock. Its phase shift armor faded off as Kira readied his blade to thrust. 

"Athrun, get out!" Nicol's voice shouted in his speaker. He watched in horror as the Blitz, which had somehow survived its fall into the ocean, appeared charging at the Strike with its lancer dart. If he made contact, that weapon would surely penetrate the Strikes armor detonating upon impact. 

It took a moment for Kira to recognize what was happening. The pilot was trying to sacrifice himself to save Athrun. The thought rang in his mind as he moved to defend himself. This pilot, a soldier who could not possibly care for Athrun as much as he did, was willing to die for him. What was he doing fighting his emerald-eyed friend? Where was his loyalty? 

Athrun felt helpless watching them fight, his machine nearly scraps of metal with all of the fire it had taken, and now almost useless with its armor down. 

"Ensign Yamato, come back towards the ship!" The Lieutenant commanded knowing that he couldn't possibly have much battery left. He had taken the fight dangerously far away and his suit would likely die very soon. His engine was overheating now as well. 

Athrun's heart pounded in his ears. He couldn't let Nicol die, not in front of his eyes, when he could have done something. Something shattered in his mind, the world became suddenly clear. Athrun gathered his machine, pulling it out of the rubble. Activating his beam saber once more he propelled himself towards the red and blue machine. 

Kira turned towards the Blitz, managing to lurch the Strike to a squatted position, reaching out to slash at the Gundam, but Athrun managed to connect with the Strike's lurch just in time. He threw Kira's blow off-kilter so that it cut through the legs of the Blitz rather than the cockpit where it had been aimed. Sparks flew around the stumps, the Blitz was rendered immobile. 

Athrun twisted his stance, guarding the downed machine. He hurled himself at the Strike and Kira met his thrust with his sword. For a moment they stood equally matched. Then, a rain of fire landed on Kira from behind as his armor flickered off. He was now completely vulnerable. The Duel and Buster had managed to find them. 

Commander La Flaga shouted over the comms as the machines closed in. Kira was become badly outnumbered and the Strike had taken way too much fire. A flash of red flames flew towards the Skygrasper. It swerved in the sky, and for a second Kira thought he would dodge it, but the flames caught on the small planes left wing. It lost its balance, rocketing through the air. With its last moment airborne, the Skygrasper bombarded the Buster with its machine gun, forcing the Gundam into the Gottfried's line of fire. The high-energy beam tore through the Buster's shoulder nearly hitting his cockpit. The only remaining anti-ship missile was launched at the machine before the plane nearly nosedived into a crash landing on the Archangel's flight deck. 

The Buster had been downed. It catapulted towards the ground crashing on another small island close to Athrun. And just as the Archangel's Igelstellungs locked onto it, the head of a blond youth rose out of the hatch, arms raised in surrender. 

> _ C.E. 71: April 10th, Outside ORB's Borders, 22:00  _

"Surrender!" Athrun demanded as he and the Duel surrounded Kira. He silently willed Kira to put down his arms and submit to him. Athrun desperately needed him to stop fighting he couldn't bear to continue engaging the other in battle. 

"No, I won't let you kill them!" Kira cried back in mad fury racing towards the badly damaged machine. 

"Back off!" Yzak yelled firing his grenade launcher at the Strike. The blows landed exploding all around the head and shoulders of the Gundam. Kira was thrown into his monitor, head cracking against his helmet before being twisted and thrown again into the side of the cockpit. He tried to buffer the impact with his arms, but the shock of the crash split his left forearm. Kira screamed from the pain, feeling the bone poking at the top of the skin. Blood was running down his face stinging his eyes and making it hard to see. 

"Kira!" a call came from over the comms system. 

"Tolle!" Kira called back in panic. "Tolle, get out of here! Get back to the Archangel!" The small blue plane didn't heed his command. Instead, he began unloading anti-ship missiles on the Duel. Looping in the air, Tolle prepared to make another pass, swinging in low with the machine gun. Seeing the plane come in close, Athrun detached his shield from where it was mounted on his left forearm, he aimed it at the plane and hurled it at the cockpit. 

The red shield met its target, crashing through the bulletproof glass of the cockpit, spearing through the small plane. In seconds the Skygrasper was consumed with flames and it ignited the sky in red. 

"Tolle, no!" Kira screamed. Tears fell as he gasped for breath, mind erupted in anguish. His eyes were flooded with the image of fire flickering across the sky. 

The plane had been obliterated. Tolle was dead. Survival would have been impossible. 

They were all going to die, and it was all his fault. He had failed them. Kira's body shook with painful wheezing breaths. 

The Aegis was racing towards him again, tearing at his machine and ripping off one of the Strikes arms. Kira banked hard to the left, wrenching the Gundam away from the red mobile suit. The Duel was approaching too, shooting its beam rifle directly at him. 

"I've gotcha," Yzak called. Kira tried to evade, finding himself hard-pressed to do anything accept throwing up his shield. 

"Damnit!" Kira cried. He tried to swing his sword at the blue and white machine but did not land a hit. Before the Duel could move to make a deathly blow. Athrun cut in slicing off the Strikes other arm and dragging his beam saber across the feat. 

Kira screamed as he prepared himself to die. 

But the blow did not come. 

"Athrun, what the fuck you doing," Yzak demanded. The bluenette ignored him and stood in front of the machine protectively. Switching through his radio channels for a publicly shared line. "Goddamit you coward, not this again!" Yzak blared. Every time they had a chance to destroy this Gundam, Athrun had gotten in their way. 

"Shut up!" the bluenette snarled back at the other. 

"Pilot of the Strike, exit the cockpit now and you will live!" Athrun ordered. Kira's mobile suit had been completely disabled, stripping him of all his options except suicide. Athrun could only pray that Kira wouldn't self-destruct. 

Nothing happened for a minute. Athrun blared his message again. "Exit the Strike now and you will live!" 

The hatch opened releasing a cloud of steam. A mangled body in a blue and white flight suit with a blood-spattered helmet crawled out. It looked like the engine had overheated. The temperatures in the cockpit must have been unbearable. 

Athrun felt his stomach turn upon the sight of Kira's battered form. Once out of his formidable Gundam the boy seemed frail, so small and similar to the friend from all his memories, the one he had sworn to look after. 

Kira! his mind blared. What had he done? 

Kira rolled himself over the glowing surface of the Strikes torso, falling into a heap, and with a tortured moan he hit the rocky ground. Curling up on his side holding a deformed-looking arm soaked in blood close to his chest. 

Athrun's heart stopped. Had he done this to Kira? Was he to blame for his dangerously wounded state of his friend? He raced towards Kira not registering Yzak's warning for him to be cautious. 

"Kira!" it was all his mind could process. Caution be damned, Kira was hurt really bad. He needed to do something. He needed to fix it. 

Yzak stood frozen in his spot completely bewildered at his Commander's behavior. Had he just called the name of the pilot? How could he possibly know it? Nothing was making any sense. 

Reaching the smaller boy Athrun knelt next to him trying to get his attention. "Kira?" he asked again, this time softer with a distinct note of terror in his voice. He reached out hesitantly to touch the boy's good shoulder. There was no response. He turned Kira over and his head twisted unnaturally, helmet too heavy to move with the rest of his form. Athrun gasped, heart nearly stopping. There were cracks in the glass, and it was coated in blood. He yanked the thing off of Kira's head, while tenderly supporting the boy's neck so that it wouldn't be injured further. The boy's eyes were closed, lashes curling far too beautifully for the painful expression frozen on his face, he was unconscious. 

"Call for a stretcher!" Athrun yelled, voice clearly laced with hysteria. 

Yzak just stared at the scene completely flummoxed and quiet for once. He had never heard Zala shout like that before. Athrun was usually so reserved and calculative. What the hell was going on? 

"Now!" Athrun ordered in a mad frenzy. 

The tone jerked Yzak to action. He moved back into his machine, zip-lining into the cockpit so that he could send out the appropriate requests to their ship. 

Athrun half laid, half crouched with Kira's body, cradling the small boys head in his lap. A storm of emotion was surging through him. Kira's frame seemed frail and close to death. The thought struck terror into his heart. If Kira died...that would be it. How could he live in a world absent of the uncomplicated brightness from the small brunette in his arms? 

Kira... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What other fandoms have you guys gotten into lately? You might be surprised to hear, I've never actually watched/read any other Gundam animes. 😅


	3. Together At Last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Athrun and Kira meet again in a prison cell

> _ C.E. 71: April 16th, Enroute Aprilius One, Gamow, 11:00  _

Nicol floated down the hall of the Gamow. A hand grabbed him by the collar and yanked him around a corner into a small room. "We need to talk." Crystal blue eyes bore into Nicol. 

The pianist rubbed his sore neck, looking back at his teammate with annoyance. "You could have just asked." The silver-haired boy had him backed against a wall and was glaring at him. 

"Don't give me that," Yzak scorned, slamming his fist into the wall next to Nicol's head. 

The younger boy flinched at the violent action. 

Yzak glanced behind him, gaze darting over the room, before eyeing his teammate once again and leaning in close. He whispered, "Listen, you got the notice that we're being called in front of the Supreme Council regarding our last battle, right?" 

"Yes..." Nicol answered carefully, uncomfortable with how close the unstable boy was getting. 

"We need to get our story straight." 

"What do you mean, straight?" Nicol asked lifting an eyebrow. 

"Something is up with Zala," the volatile teen stated simply. 

Nicol chuckled at the obviousness of the statement. "So, you noticed?" 

Yzak's eyes widened at the question. "What! What have you seen?" he asked heeding the knowing look in those brandy eyes. Had Yzak underestimated his teammate? 

Nicol shrugged. It wasn't just one thing really. "Athrun's been really tense. He hardly makes eye contact with anyone anymore. It's like he's grieving something, but I have no idea what. Plus, he hasn't been fighting anywhere close to his best for quite a while. Don't you remember how unbeatable he used to be? Or how brilliant he was in the academy? He hasn't fought like that in so long." 

Yzak's face grew darker as the younger pilot spoke. Nicol was right, but he hadn't recognized any of the signs. Up until this recent incident, he had barely thought of Athrun at all, outside of his usual desire to best him. Looking at the ground, a scowl stretched across his mouth. Nicol hadn't even witnessed what he had, and yet the other boy already had suspicions. Yzak felt ashamed of himself, he should have seen it. He should have realized something was wrong with their Commander. 

"That pilot we captured..." Yzak started in a quiet tone startling Nicol. The older boy never spoke this way. "He knew their name. I think he panicked when he saw how injured the guy was. He just ran for him and cried, Kira." 

"W-what?" Nicol asked, barely believing his ears, eyes wide. Having come so close to death he had gone into shock at the end of that battle. He couldn't remember anything but the sound of blood in his ears and sharp terror. 

"Athrun knows him, that's why he hasn't been fighting with his all," Yzak concluded for him. 

"Of course..." Nicol whispered, understanding finally dawning on him. It had all been because of the other pilot. They must have been friends. Athrun had been suffering because he had been forced to fight his friend. Yzak watched his teammate's pale face contort into a pained expression. Nicol was warmhearted, and this news clearly affected him. 

Yzak ignored the slight twinge in his chest at the sight of the boy's distress. Refusing to acknowledge what that feeling could mean, he dodged the temptation analyze it and zeroed his attention in on their meeting. 

"There's more," Yzak rumbled. Nicol glanced up at him, biting his lower lip. "I got a look at the pilot's face. He was young. At least sixteen, maybe even as young as you." The significance of the statement took a second to sink in for Nicol. 

"He's a Coordinator." 

Yzak nodded, having come to the same conclusion. It was unthinkable enough that a grown Natural may have been able to take on four ZAFT elite soldiers with any effectiveness. To imagine that a teenage Natural could do the same, well, Yzak would sooner believe in miracles. 

"So, what are we going to tell the council?" Yzak sought with a dismal look in his eyes. 

> _ C.E. 71 May 1st, Aprilius One, Hospital, 08:00  _

Kira opened his eyes or tried to, as they felt like they were glued together. In an attempt to rub away the sand from his vision he found his wrist caught. He tried the other, but it too was stuck. A streak of panic ran through him. Despite the difficulty, he forced himself to squint his eyes open only to be momentarily blinded by the brightness of the light. 

He was in a large room filled with white plastic furniture. 

"Where am I?" he asked himself, but a doctor close by had heard him. 

"You're in a hospital on Aprilius One." 

"The PLANT's?" he wondered aloud. 

"Yes, you arrived over two weeks ago, but you've been in a coma up until now." 

The information sent Kira's brain into overload. "A coma?" he rasped, throat dry. 

"Yes, I'm glad you finally woke up..." The doctor carried on in a casual manner, but the brunette didn't hear him. 

Kira's memories started to fill his mind. Images of his battle with Athrun, and losing Tolle sent a stinging pain piercing right through his heart. Kira's body felt hot and sticky. The burning heaviness of his muscles was pinning him to the mattress. 

Awareness of a putrid iron-like smell of from his unwashed blood-caked hair overpowered Kira's nostrils, giving him a serious urge to puke. 

Kira's body shuddered as the pain renewed itself in his heart. Tears filling his eyes once more, he started to quietly sob. 

> _ C.E. 71: May 3rd, Aprilius One, Supreme Council Hall, 16:00  _

Athrun stood outside the meeting room for the Supreme Council. In all rights, he should have burning fear running through his veins, but all he could feel was the cold ambivalence of a ghost observing another world. He had no idea what the council could possibly hope to gain from investigating the circumstances of his battle. Athrun could only think that he must be under suspicion for not having killed Kira, and possibly, he could be at risk for dishonorable discharge for having allowed Dearka to be captured under his watch. 

He would be the last to enter the council room. Both Nicol and Yzak would make their reports before his, and the thought of Yzak's hatred of him kept his expectations of a positive review rather low. 

It was his turn. 

Upon entering the dark room Athrun saluted the council members. His father stood at the center of the roundtable, hunched over and staring intently at a document. His broad face was lit from below by lights along the table, causing harsh black shadows in the creases around his mouth and eyes. It was difficult to estimate the man's mood without being able to see him clearly. 

"Athrun Zala, please present your report analyzing the recent battle on the outskirts of ORB's territory." 

Dutifully, Athrun launched into his lengthy explanation of the events, and the council allowed him to relay all of the information without providing any indication of their purpose. Once he had completed describing the events that took place during the battle, he stood firmly, waiting for their evaluation. 

A man he knew only as Jeremy Maxwell from the Legislative Committee spoke first. "Thus far you have exhibited remarkable battle performances." 

"Thank you," Athrun said, unsure of where this conversation was going. Glancing at his father he noticed the man had hardly moved. Patrick Zala had a daunting presence ebbing off of him. 

"Here especially," someone continued. "You displayed outstanding judgment in your battle tactics, and your choice to wait out the emergence of the Strike from ORB's territory." 

"Yes," Athrun confirmed. "Despite Chief Representative Athha's claims, it seems that the nation was indeed housing the ship so that it could have time to conduct repairs and resupply." 

Ezalia Joule scowled at his explanation, "Athha, he thinks his silver tongue can get him out of everything." 

"So ORB was in league with the Earth Forces after all! They were deliberately violating the treaty!" another council member shouted, enraged with the news. Athrun made no comment, though he felt suspicious of their interpretation of the situation. He doubted it was as simple as they claimed. Having met Cagalli, he had a difficult time believing ORB had truly crafted some sort of secret alliance with the E.A. The council had recently spoken of ORB as if they were Blue Cosmos supporters on the brink of changing their allegiances. The blonde's impassioned cries, even at her most furious, had not fit into that picture. She had never once mentioned genes or race. Only the fact that the Earth had been attacked. Knowing who she was now, it was unexpected. But really nothing about Cagalli had been ordinary. 

There was a murmur amongst the council members. They were not happy at the recent developments with ORB's foreign relations politics. 

"Mr. Zala," one of the members started. "You managed to take down the formidable Strike, a mobile suit which has performed beyond the bounds of anything which we believed possible before. You were also able to do so without destroying the machine, allowing ZAFT to salvage the parts and begin rebuilding the model." 

"And," Yuri Amalfi started, giving Athrun a meaningful look, "you bravely protected a fellow teammate, interrupting a deadly blow from the Strike and avoiding their death," the councilman acknowledged, silently thanking him for having saved his son's life. 

Athrun glanced at the shadowy figure of his father. He knew the man was aware of exactly who the Strike's pilot was, and just why it had been so difficult for his team to achieve victory. Evidently, the rest of the council hadn't been informed of his connection with Kira. They hadn't even mentioned the smaller boy's genetic status yet. 

Before, his father had wanted to keep this information under wraps. When he had first encountered Kira, the man had paid a special visit to him and Commander La Crueset to ensure Athrun would keep his mouth shut. At the time, he hadn't questioned it. He had still been processing Kira's decision to stay with the Earth Forces, not really understanding they would have to become enemies. 

Such a thing seemed impossible. Athrun had been so wrapped up in his own doubts about Kira's supposed treachery, he hadn't analyzed his father's behavior. But now, standing in a room full of Supreme Council members who only knew half the truth, Athrun felt like the facts just weren't adding up. 

They had captured Kira, and there was no more threat of information being used against them. Any reasonable justification for holding the intelligence back no longer existed. His father should have provided Kira's background to the rest of the council. 

Only, he hadn't. 

His father's actions had become more and more secretive. When Chairman Clyne was still in charge, there had never been any doubt that the end goal of the war, was peace. But thanks to Patrick Zala 

the PLANT's no longer seemed to be on such a path. 

Eileen Canaver spoke up next. "Regrettably, soldier Dearka Elsman was taken as a prisoner of war, but as we have gathered from the reports of your teammates, that was most likely due to his own actions during the battle." 

Athrun watched his father's looming figure get up from the roundtable. He had once been afraid of this man. But now, Athrun felt nothing, numb to whatever anxiety he should be experiencing. 

Patrick Zala stood, surveying his fellow council members. "Athrun Zala," he rattled the name off as if it belonged to a stranger. "This council is recognizing you for your astounding record and fealty to ZAFT by promoting you to the Special Forces, honoring you with the Order of the Nebula, and as a member of FAITH." 

Athrun's eyes followed his father's lips as they moved, but his mind couldn't process what he was saying. 

The elder Zala continued after giving the members of the council a significant look, not bothering to make eye contact with his son. "This council feels that your considerable skills will be of most use when serving directly underneath it. Aside from our direct orders, you will be free to make decisions as you see fit." Athrun noticed vaguely that his father looked pleased with himself. "We are assigning you to the X109A Justice, a new machine equipped with an N-jammer canceller. You may pick it up from the armory." 

N-jammer cancellers. The words cut through the haze that had fallen over the bluenette's mind. As in nuclear? The information hit him like a knee to the gut. 

Forgetting where he was, Athrun's mouth was speaking before he could stop it. "But the PLANT's made the decision to abandon all nuclear technology!" His father should have known better than anyone why such things should never be allowed to exist. 

Patrick Zala clenched his fists. "If we want to win this war, we will need this power now more than ever," he growled. 

Athrun's heart pounded in his ribcage. No, it can't be. 

The Chairman looked at him for the first time since he had walked into the council room. His steely eyes bore down on the bluenette. "This meeting is hereby concluded," Patrick Zala announced with finality. 

Someone pressed the FAITH pin into Athrun's hand before ushering him out into the hall. All the bluenette could see was his father, staring at something imperceptible with a leering smile etched across his face. The expression had brought a sour taste of bile to Athrun's mouth. Patrick Zala was congratulating himself on how well his own schemes had been realized. 

He felt manipulated. His father had treated him like a pawn. Forcing him to take up arms with the weapon that had murdered his mother and millions of others. He had been promoted to serve directly underneath the Chairman and to be his personal knight in chains. All for some goal which Athrun still couldn't see clearly. 

Athrun stared at the white wings of the badge. 

It was funny, there had been a time when his greatest wish was to hold those white wings in his hand. As a child, Athrun had imagined he might one day become an honorable knight, bravely fighting for what was right. He would single-handedly protect the world. However, such fanciful ideas had long since been weeded out of him. He learned to organize his life by the code of ZAFT and had taken his superiors' determinations as the equivalent of justice. 

After his mother had died on Junius Seven, Athrun had realized he could no longer leave the safety of the PLANTs up to others. It was his responsibility to protect those he loved. He needed to fight anyone that would threaten their safety and destroy them. He had failed his mother, but he would never again be found blissfully unaware. That dead set conviction had given him the resolve to endure drill after drill. He had mastered the use of every firearm in ZAFT's arsenal, with deadeye accuracy, and the shortest weapon assembly times of his class. Having trained tirelessly to perfect stances and memorize hundreds of defensive and offensive maneuvers, Athrun graduated undefeated in hand to hand combat. No matter how much his body hurt, or how exhausted his mind had become. Athrun had forged himself into the absolute best of the best. Because if he hadn't, only he would be to blame when someone else died. 

Athrun was a soldier, and his enemies were the Earth Forces. Those callous monsters were responsible for the death of millions of his people. They were the reason he would never speak to his mother again, why his father couldn't even look at him anymore. And the reason even Athrun tried not to look into mirrors... 

Nothing had ever been clearer in his life after watching the obliteration of Junius Seven, then his absolute certainty the Earth Forces needed to be annihilated. Now, he wasn't even sure that further carnage could ever bring about the justice he had been seeking. 

The wings in his palm felt heavy, they were more punishment than anything. Athrun couldn't stop the nagging thought if the council had known of his full involvement with the Strike, he never would have been honored. They were a reminder of how much he did not deserve to be decorated. There was too much he didn't understand, and this new power had not brought him any closer to figuring it out. 

> _ C.E. 71: May 3rd, Josh-A, Archangel, Mess Hall  _

Miriallia looked down at her food tray, slowly rolling a slice of carrot across the plastic surface. Her mind was still in shambles since Tolle...since what happened. It had been difficult to do anything; wherever she went she was met with painful memories of her boyfriend. The nights had been the worst. Those long stretches of time filled with nothing to distract her from the cold emptiness of being alone. At least during the day, there were things to be done, she could forget herself in her work, and leave behind a small piece of her suffering. 

"Miriallia, you really should eat something," Sai spoke from beside her. "Are you sleeping at night...no, of course not..." he answered himself, sighing. Birdy looped in the air around his shoulder, singing its own name. 

A few of the Archangel's mechanics walked into the mess hall chatting with one another. 

"...but what I wanna know is when are they gonna let us disembark?" one of the men asked. 

"It's pretty strange telling us to remain aboard five days after arriving at headquarters," his friend chimed in. 

"And they tell us to keep working, but all we have left is that one Skygrasper." 

At this comment, Miriallia tensed realizing exactly which Skygrasper they meant. 

"What do you say we kill some time by repairing the Buster, the one we brought on board?" 

Her hands were shaking before she could stop them, her breathing had already turned ragged. 

"What's the point in repairing an enemy machine?" The men carried on with their conversation, blissfully unaware of the effect they were having on the young brunette. 

Before she could understand what was happening, Sai was tugging on her elbow, and gathering their trays. 

"C'mon, let's go," he said to her, leading Mir out the door. 

Sai walked with her to the medical bay and opened the door. "Just wait inside here, kay?" he said in a reassuring voice. "We'll get you a prescription from the doctor, something so that you can get some sleep, sound good?" he asked. 

She could barely manage a nod before he was walking out the door. Miriallia wandered into the room in a daze slugging down onto a stool with a hollow-eyed expression. 

"Hey, doc." A voice came from behind the bunk curtain. 

Miriallia felt goosebumps rise on her arms. She turned in surprise, finding the face of the ZAFT pilot they had brought on board. 

She gasped, jerking away from him to the other side of the room. Mir felt her chest heaving as a claustrophobic panic set over her. The room was far too small. She suddenly noticed the unfamiliar musky scent in the room was actually coming from the pilot on the bed. I can smell him. The thought brought bile up her throat and disgusted her with their proximity, she tried not to breathe. Even if it was just the air of the room, she didn't want anything belonging to that murderer near her. 

Mir saw the boy's mouth moving, but it was difficult to hear what he was saying over the blood rushing in her ears. 

"Wh...St...ing ...t me?" 

Something was wrong with the pilot's face. His chin was cocked, a sick little smirk curled at the corner of his lips. He had the snide face of a monster. 

Mir glared in horror. 

And then he was wiggling on the bed, the bonds holding his arms gave way ever so slightly and her stomach dropped, blood freezing in place. 

Wet tears dripped down her cheeks. 

The stranger's lips flapped, and she realized she could actually hear him. Her mind turned through each string of illegible syllables like she was moving through thick mud. Hearing the sounds, and only finding understanding long moments later. 

"...but what I want to know is, why are you crying again?" 

How was this happening? 

She stared at him, briefly questioning if he was even real. Had she fallen asleep? Was this a figure of her nightmares? 

"I'm kinda surprised that a ship like this has such a crybaby on board." He closed his eyes. "You have no business being a soldier if you're that afraid....Or maybe your good-for-nothing Natural 

boyfriend went and died on you or something?" 

The pilot's words tore through her mind and the only thing that made sense anymore was that she needed to make him stop. 

He needed to be stopped. 

Miriallia grabbed a blade off a doctor's tray with a trembling hand, fingers twisting around its handle. Mir couldn't stand to hear another word come out of his filthy mouth. The cold of the metal bit into her feverish skin. She wanted to carve his existence out of the world. 

Knife in hand, ready to attack, Mir leaped at the oblivious soldier with a manic scream. 

Everything in her head was loud again. The wide-eyed pale-turned soldier had his mouth stretched in screams. But, words didn't matter anymore. She couldn't hear him. 

Miriallia went for another hit. And the Coordinator kicked his body off the bed, slamming through the bunks privacy screen, and onto the ground putting some distance between them. 

The swish of the door tugged at Mir's awareness. The familiar sound, and then suddenly, the familiar hands on her body. 

"Miriallia!" It was Sai. He was grabbing her shoulders, shaking her. 

Her body fought on instinct to get out of his hold, catching a flash of pink hair in the corner of her eyes. 

"C-calm down Mir!" Sai's voice trembled. 

There was a strange tugging on the edges of her mind. There was something she needed to see here, but the sea of pain in her chest was too hot, too much to move past. 

"Tolle's gone, and he's never coming back, and yet this creep... What is this scumbag doing here?" she shouted the words in a hysterical voice scratching with tears. 

The blonde breathed heavily into her hair, squeezing her tighter. "Oh, Miriallia..." 

Mir whimpered. "Tolle's gone, why is he gone?" 

"I don't know," her friend wept. 

And if Mir hadn't of looked up, she wouldn't have seen Flay at the doorway, aiming the gun. But, why? Mir's eyes flashed over the room, tracing the path of Flay's weapon. It was pointing at the soldier. 

Flay grit her teeth. "All of you Coordinator's, deserve to be killed!" 

Mirriallia's heart fell. "No!" she called, throwing herself on top of Flay, and managing to misdirect the bullet just enough to save the pilot. Mir laid there crying on top of the pink haired girl. 

Flay glared at Mir, soliciting her for some explanation. "Why'd you do that? Why did you stop me? You were trying to kill him yourself. You despise these guys too, don't you?" 

Miriallia could only shake her head back and forth in a 'no'. 

"Don't you hate the Coordinators that killed Tolle? Don't look at me like that. You are exactly the 

same as I am." 

"Flay, stop!" Sai yelled. 

"I'm not," Mir whispered at first, "I'm not like you!" she yelled, pounding her fist onto the ground. 

> _ C.E. 71: May 3rd, Aprilius One, Gamow, 17:00  _

The time had come for Athrun to leave the Gamow. He had been ordered to relocate to quarters in a military building on Aprilius One. 

"Zala." It was Yzak. He had caught the bluenette by surprise, standing in the hall, seemingly waiting for him. 

"Don't worry, my turn will come soon," Yzak said with his nose in the air. 

Athrun smiled at him because he had realized that Yzak must have spoken well of him in front of the council. Nicol too. He couldn't possibly have received such approval otherwise. 

"How could they pick you for the special forces. Tch, you a FAITH member?" the silver-haired boy scoffed. 

The comments felt half-hearted, not nearly as scathing as his teammate was usually capable. An odd sense of nostalgia filled Athrun with the desire to show some gesture of gratitude. Putting down his bag, Athrun reached his arm out to shake Yzak's hand. "Sorry about how things turned out...thanks for all your help." 

For a moment, Yzak did nothing. Just as Athrun was about to drop his hand, the crystal-eyed boy clasped it, giving it a firm shake. Yzak's scowl dropped, and though he never quite returned Athrun's smile, the bluenette was satisfied. Picking up his bag again he said, "Bye," and started walking away. 

"Next time I'll be the one in charge," Yzak called after him. 

Athrun couldn't help the slightly amused curl his lip took, and shook his head at the antics of his former teammate. 

"Don't get killed until then, okay?" There was a softness in the boy's tone that Athrun had never heard before. 

"You got it Yzak," he assured the other, wondering just when they had become friends. 

The silver-haired boy watched his Commander walk away not seeing his other teammate approach him from behind. 

"That was kind of you," Nicol remarked, impressed by the protectiveness he was seeing emerge in the other. 

Yzak tensed, having thought he was alone. 

"Athrun looked grateful," Nicol assured him. "I think one day he might actually tell us what happened between him and that pilot." 

Had Nicol always been so observant? "Hm, you don't miss anything do you?" Yzak had never really tried to talk to him before. It was strange, they had been together since military academy, but he really didn't know the green-haired boy very well. Obviously, they both had a lot to learn about their 

Commander as well. 

Nicol smiled warmly at him, not denying anything. 

> _ C.E. 71: May 4th, Aprilius One, High-Security Prison, 14:00  _

Athrun stood outside the prisoner cells covered in a clammy anxious sweat. He tapped the passcode into the dial pad with a shaking hand and entered the small steel room. 

There he is. 

It had been days since Athrun had visited him in the hospital. After he had gotten word that Kira had woken up, he hadn't been able to build up the courage to go see him. Today, though, he had been ordered by the council to get some information from the boy on the Strike. ZAFT had been attempting to rebuild it, but the most valuable areas of the OS were severely encrypted. No one had been successful in breaking into it so far. His job was to 'elicit' the information from Kira, or that was how the National Defense Committee's, Herman Gould had put it when he slyly explained that this prison had no cameras in the cells. Little did he know just how unlikely it was Athrun would ever do such a thing to Kira. The mere thought made him sick to his stomach. 

Athrun let his eyes scan over Kira's beautifully tanned body, cheeks still implausible chubby for someone his age, and especially sun-kissed revealing a sprinkle of freckles. Amethyst eyes, somewhat veiled in lashes so long they were nearly womanly, flickered under the artificial lights. 

Kira, who had been laying on the bed, sat up as soon as he noticed he was no longer alone. His posture became immediately defensive. Those creamy limbs were tense, and his body ready to leap, if necessary. His whole form took on a very peculiar mix of childlike innocence and deadly determination. Seeing Kira this way startled Athrun. When they were together, Kira had always become softer, leaving behind any weariness for familiar trusting comfort. This coiled up watchful creature was someone he didn't know. 

Athrun took his first steps into the room, saying nothing, just watching the other move about in the enemy's uniform. He settled himself in the bunk on the opposite side of Kira's. He was only here for one reason, the Supreme Council wanted the Strike's access codes, nothing else, or that's what he had kept telling himself during his walk to the prison, sensing the need to ready himself for something. Everything had always become fuzzy when Kira was involved. 

Athrun's mind felt far away, still reeling from the recent events with the council. Everything felt so unreal."They need the codes for the Strike." That flat statement was all he could muster. 

There was a long pause before Kira said, "No." 

Athrun said nothing. He hadn't exactly expected Kira to just hand the information over with no fuss, nor could he be bothered to work at extracting the information from him with any form of debate. So they sat in silence, neither really looking at the other. 

"The legged ship got away." Athrun didn't know why he said it, but this at least brought out a real reaction in the smaller boy. His attention clearly grabbed. 

"Do you mean the Archangel?" 

Athrun smiled wistfully. "So that's what she's called?" They had chased the ship for so long without even knowing its true name. 

It was like Kira's whole body had let out a sigh, he collapsed back into a slacken heap against the wall. "Thank goodness." 

Then Athrun found himself asking the question he had promised himself not to. "So, you were fighting to protect your friends?" 

"Yeah," was the simple reply. 

"So was I," he said remembering his conversation with Nicol several weeks beforehand. They had both joined ZAFT after the Bloody Valentine genocide in an attempt to do their part to protect the people they loved. Only, for Athrun, Kira had always been included in that group of people, so how was it that in the end he actually had to fight him? With his mother gone, Kira was really the only other person left whom he needed beyond any doubt. Athrun wasn't sure when the darkness had started creeping in on his heart, but he could no longer envision a future not filled with blackness. 

"Why am I alive?" Kira said staring at his hands remembering all of the bloodshed they had caused. 

The question hit the bluenette with such surprise that he didn't have the state of mind to stop himself from blurting, "What! How could you ask that?" 

"I-I failed..." Kira muttered, not listening to Athrun, rather he seemed to be speaking to himself. Hunched over, his body erupting into quiet sobs. 

"Tolle's dead," he cried. "I-I couldn't protect him." Tolle had died because of his carelessness. Kira found himself having to fight a wave of nausea bubbling up from his stomach. It was his fault. The guilt was overtaking his body, itching under his skin like an old friend, it wound itself around his heart, tightening its hold on him until he was suffocating. Eyes soaked and streaming with tears Kira broke down. 

"Kira," Athrun said with worry, unable to stifle the burning need to calm his friend. All the building blocks of his willpower dismantling in one fell swoop, every instinct in his body cried out for him to console Kira. Stepping off the edge of the bed he reached out to hold the crying boy. 

Kira flinched away from his touch, finally looking up at the bluenette. "Don't touch me," he spat, "you're a murderer!" 

He jolted at the allegation. I-what? Those amethyst eyes were glossy with tears, and yet the strength of the glare sent a shiver down Athrun's spine. He had never seen such hatefulness in those eyes before, definitely never directed at him. 

Kira read the astonishment on his face. Sneering at him, he said, "He was in the blue and white Skygrasper during our last battle." 

Understanding dawned on Athrun as he remembered throwing his shield into the window of a plane and watching it explode ...so that was Kira's friend? 

Amethyst eyes watched him warily, waiting to see what he would say. But Athrun couldn't meet his gaze. When he had destroyed that plane, he had not allowed himself to think about the pilot as a human being. He had simply forced himself to take down the machine. It had been a long time since he had grappled with guilt over killing anyone in battle. Unlike his soft-hearted friend, Athrun had always been able to shut his emotions off when it was necessary. 

Kira had become very serious. He was looking away from the bluenette, just staring at the wall. "Tolle was the same age as us. Before everything...we went to school together on Heliopolis." 

"I-I didn't know," Athrun mustered. "I'm sorry." His words felt so insufficient for the depth of sorrow on Kira's face. 

"But you were relentless," Kira was shouting now, not being able to hold back all the anger he held for the other anymore. "You kept fighting and fighting, no matter what I said. You even tried to kill me!" 

Athrun had given Kira all of this pain. His best friend was suffering because Athrun had taken the life of someone close to him, and the murder had barely even affected him. He had killed the Skygrasper pilot because eliminating threats from the Earth Forces was a part of his duty. He hadn't wanted to, but ultimately, fighting was his responsibility as a soldier of ZAFT. Some sick twist of fate had placed his best friend on the wrong side of the war, and he had been given no choice but to attack his ship, but with Kira breaking apart in front of him, such rationalizations seemed meaningless. Athrun's heart was beating hard in his chest. He felt hot tears gathering in the corners of his eyes, and he realized with a strange sense of detachment that he was crying. "Kira, fighting you is the hardest thing I've ever done." He didn't know what else to say to make the other understand how much this had been killing him. 

His words only seemed to infuriate the brunette more. "So why did you do it? Why did you fight me?" he demanded to know, violet eyes hardening in an inaccessible way that terrified the azure haired boy. Everything was all backward. Kira wasn't supposed to be the distant one. The boy before him was the only one who had ever been able to reach him when he was determined to keep everything shut out. Kira had always been able to get through to Athrun and make him open up. 

Athrun hesitated, trying to remember why he needed to regard the chocolate-headed boy as his enemy. What is the point of all this? He knew his answer would not be enough to explain how he could have forgotten their friendship. "I-I had to...you were with the Earth Forces, and I was ordered to destroy that ship." 

Kira glared at him. "Are you so compliant that you just do whatever is commanded of you then? Even killing me?" 

"What?" he shouted before doubting if he even had the right. What Kira said was true, it was in Athrun's nature to simply follow orders. That was how he had learned to survive under his father's authority, and the structure of the military had given him clarity during his most difficult times of grieving over his mother. When he joined ZAFT everything had seemed so simple. He knew what he was fighting for, and he understood the part he played in keeping the PLANT's safe. But with Kira on the battlefield, and the war spiraling out of control, Athrun had no idea what he was doing anymore. Nothing made any sense. 

Kira held his gaze saying nothing. 

"Do you honestly believe I could kill you?" Athrun demanded. 

Kira's teeth were bared, trying to hold back a growl of anger. Clenching his fists he tried to explain. "Athrun, the Archangel. All they have left to protect them is one Skygrasper. Without me, they are all going to die," he said the words looking directly into emerald eyes. 

"No!" the bluenette burst. The stark desperation in Kira's voice had felt like a bucket of ice water thrown in his face, impelling him to see what a fool he had been. He could not allow Kira to continue suffering. "We stopped pursuing them when they started heading towards Alaska. That base is huge. They should resupply them with more pilots. They're going to be okay!" Athrun needed his friend to hear him, to accept what he was saying. 

Kira looked up at him hopefully, gaze wavering under the artificial lights. 

"I promise Kira, they'll be all right." He squatted down so he could look directly into his violet eyes as he spoke to him. They were marred with dark circles. Reaching out Athrun traced the darkened skin with his thumb trailing his finger down to cup a chubby freckled cheek. The smaller boy didn't flinch away this time. "It's going to be all right," he repeated to him. 

Kira stared at him, anger dissipating. Athrun had always taken care of him, helped to balance any loads he had on his shoulders. His best friend's absence had festered in his heart. After he had left it had taken a lot for Kira to move forward. He had learned to carry his own burdens. Kira had been placed in an impossible situation, and like his namesake, he had become a killer. It was his job to protect others, though the weight of the responsibility was slowly crushing him. 

Athrun's gaze fixed on Kira's glassy eyes, filled with some jumble of terror and heartbreak. Those perfect lips trembled, so vulnerable like he would drown if someone didn't save him. 

"A-athrun," he whispered, voice overtaken by tears he couldn't quench. 

Athrun knew what he needed to do, he knew it in the core of his being. This precious person was the only thing that really mattered to him, Athrun needed him close. He wouldn't be able to live any longer without him. "Everything's going to be okay Kira, I'll take care of you," he whispered back, "I am never going to let you get hurt again, I swear it." 

The spine-chilling conviction in the words overwhelmed Kira with his longing for the other. How long had he been waiting, wanting him back? Kira needed to hear his low, expressive voice, to hear his promises to protect him. To be by his side and to stop fighting. He bit his lip timidly, so afraid to let himself believe Athrun's words completely, to trust him again after everything that had happened. 

Athrun stared at that lip as it disappeared behind Kira's teeth. Remembering that night so long ago, where he had traced those very same lips with his fingers. So much had changed, and yet here they were. His sweet captivating Kira was only inches away. As if a spell had been cast over him he unthinkingly reached out his finger to gently tug the lip back out of Kira's mouth. Having been nibbled, it was flushed and puffy with a light sheen of saliva. 

Kira gasped lightly, unaccustomed to such sensuous gestures. Especially being touched like this by Athrun. Already the bluenette's closeness was spreading warmth throughout his body. Struggling to understand what was happening to him, his blood beat hotter with every pulse. 

Athrun leaned forwards, bringing their noses together. He was so close that Kira could taste Athrun on the air, blanketing the smaller boy in his impossibly fresh musky scent. Hardly able to breathe, as the larger boy looked right at him, and leaned forward to join their lips. Kissing him, like he had found the last piece of a puzzle which had been lost. Athrun's chest flooded with emotion, so completely full he could burst. 

Kira let the awareness of Athrun's kiss wash over him. Slowly, from the bottom of his spine, he felt a shudder flit all the way up to the nape of his neck where one of Athrun's hands held him, and skip from there, throughout his body. Kira tried to stifle any sounds he might make, afraid if he moved the other might disappear into a daydream. That he might once again lose the person he could not live without. His body moved without thought, pressing back against Athrun's. 

One small sound of pleasure escaped from deep in Kira's chest sending Athrun into motion. Leaning in deeper, Athrun opened his mouth, groaning as he met with Kira's hot tongue. He slid his own tongue over the surface of Kira's, trying to feel every part of him. Athrun understood upon contact just how empty he had been, and how much he had been longing for the other. Being separated from the boy who had stolen his heart so long ago, being reunited, and having the aching hole in his chest filled. Athrun marveled at how alive he felt touching Kira this way. So many of his days had been marked by a hazy state-of-mind, a slow slipping process into non-existence. The heat from Kira's lips, the texture of his skin, each detail registered distinctly in Athrun's mind. So vivid, like he had been asleep, and was only now rousing. 

This was how things needed to be. He had always belonged to Kira. Athrun could no longer allow anything to interfere with him caring for this boy. 

Kira wobbled unsteadily in his arms, fisting Athrun's shirt with shaky hands, and sliding towards to edge of the bunk to bring their bodies closer. Athrun encouraged him by pulling Kira into his lap, pressing their frames together. His awareness of Kira's utter daintiness in his arms chased a heated shudder through his body. He kissed him like he had always wanted to, enjoying the reverberations of the brunette's chest and the downy feeling of Kira's cheeks under his fingertips. 

Catching his labored breath Athrun was forced to pull away for a moment. Kira stayed still, legs splayed on either side of Athrun's hips, eyes closed, and mouth parted slightly in soft tempting pants. Frustrated by the lack of contact, Kira shyly poked his tongue forwards, beckoning for another touch. The sight sent Athrun's body ablaze. He kissed him hard, needing him so powerfully it frightened him. Sealing their lips together he immersed himself in the other, luxuriating in every breathy moan he swallowed out of the other's mouth. Athrun felt feverish as that succulent little tongue wiggled against his. Kira's hands moved, tangling themselves in dark azure locks of hair. 

"Kira?" Athrun asked in a voice far huskier than usual, and oh God did it do things to the smaller boy, who can hardly stop himself from keening against the other's hips. His mind was fuzzy, only able to register his desire to continue kissing the boy in front of him. He tried to lean forwards, seeking out more contact, but Athrun caught his face before he allowed himself to become lost in another kiss. The chocolate-haired boy let out a soft mewling sound frustrated at being denied another embrace. 

"Kira," he repeated gently. 

Athrun found himself unable to tear his gaze away from those hooded amethyst eyes as they opened slowly for him. They were dilated in pleasure and filled with a doughy expression that made him want to grab onto Kira and never let go. 

"I love you," he whispered, like a vow cutting into stone. 

It was only seconds before a breathy voice answered him back, "I love you too," because Kira knew that there would be no other, not like Athrun. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #peace and love


	4. Solitude and the Uncertain Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kira and Athrun take turns angsting and mess around in the cell

> _ C.E. 71: May 14th, Aprilius One, High-Security Prison, 13:00  _

Athrun keyed the now-familiar password for Kira's cell into the dial pad. He had only been able to visit twice since he had told Kira he loved him. The council had reacted hesitantly when he requested more 'interrogation' visits. It had taken several days longer than he was comfortable with, not only making Athrun prickle with the maddening need to be near Kira but also chasing icy fear through his chest over what the cause for the delay might have been. After finally receiving clearance, he had raced to the prison, unable to wait a moment longer to be with the other. 

Athrun's heart melted at the sight of Kira lying in his bunk curled up on his side napping. After quickly setting his timer, he walked quietly over to the boy, leaning in slowly to kiss him, savoring the sensation of Kira's warm lips against his. He brushed his fingers across Kira's cheeks. 

Chocolate lashes blinked violet dream-glazed eyes open. Kira inhaled softly in surprise at the new company. 

"Hi," the bluenette smiled at Kira. 

"Hi...Athrun," Kira sighed, eyes dropping into a dopey expression. Relief pooled in his belly to finally be with the one he loved. 

Athrun nuzzled the smaller boy's neck, pecking kisses over the warm skin. 

Kira shifted, making room for Athrun to climb onto the bed. 

The bluenette didn't hesitate to and slip their bodies together. Kira's sleep-warmed skin made the hair rise on Athrun's arms. He leaned in for another kiss, burying his fingers in chocolate-colored disheveled hair, wanting to be as near to the other as he could. 

Athrun's touches left traces of warm vibrations across his skin. Kira's heart thrummed heavily against his ribcage, head filling with cotton. 

The bluenette bit lightly at the other's bottom lip, and Kira parted his lips just enough to allow Athrun the entrance he sought. Their tongues swirled together in a searing embrace. 

Kira moaned into the bluenette's mouth, feeling breathless and light-headed. He craved a deeper closeness, wanting to disappear into Athrun. With the world falling apart around them, Kira was grateful that he could at least find sanctuary in the other's arms. 

Athrun pulled away with reluctance, taking a deep breath of air to relieve his burning lungs. The bluenette kept his gaze securely on the beautiful boy in front of him. Enjoying their moment of bliss, he brushed their lips together again in several delicate caresses. 

"Kira..." he husked. 

The brunette hummed a half-cognizant response. 

"I was wondering..." Athrun tried to clear the haziness that had overtaken his mind. "Could we talk about Heliopolis?" 

Kira shifted his head, looking curiously at the bluenette. 

"Well, we never actually discussed it, and..." Athrun looked away, midnight brows pinching together, weariness marking his face. "That day, you were in civilian clothing. Why is that?" 

"B-because," Kira stuttered. "I was a student. My friends and I were just given permission to use a lab at the university nearby." 

"A student?" Athrun breathed in disbelief. 

"Yeah, I was in high school." 

Emerald eyes narrowed. "Shouldn't you have been pursuing some advanced degree if you wanted to continue your education?" For coordinators, it was nearly unheard of that someone Kira's age would still be in high school. 

"You know my parents are... more traditional," Kira reminded him, crossing his arms over his stomach. To one who knew the smaller boy so well, it was clear that traditional had displaced Natural. 

"They wanted my education to look like theirs had." 

Athrun's brows lowered, fists clenched. "But that's-" 

"Hopeless?" Kira finished for him, guessing at his thoughts. 

Athrun nodded, jaw stiffening. Kira would never be like his parents. Any attempts to make him be 

would have been pointless. 

The brunette only shrugged half-heartedly, unable to disagree with the unspoken accusation. "They didn't believe in having me rush things just to master some field." He tugged at the end of his cotton t-shirt, glancing briefly up at Athrun. "It didn't matter to them if I never ended up with any kind of fancy status." Kira didn't say it, but he implied that his parents were not like Athrun's father, a man who had particularly high expectations for his son. 

The bluenette's mouth pursed, twisting unattractively at its corner. 

Kira rubbed his neck, trying to smile. "You know, my teachers all helped. They gave me extra assignments to compensate for my working speeds." 

Athrun shook his head at the other's attempts. He was forever trying to find the positive in any situation, making an effort to spare those around him from any necessity to pity him. "You must have been bored out of your mind." Athrun couldn't imagine being subjected to such a tedious education. 

The brunette looked up, feeling bare with emerald eyes studying his face. He bit his lip slightly. "To be honest, I was." No matter what they had given him, Kira had always finished it without much effort. He had never received any true challenges to work through. 

"You know..." he swallowed. "During that time I was missing you greatly." At first, Kira had only thought he had lost his friend, but he had quickly discovered that something in himself had gone missing along with the bluenette. 

Kira traced a lacy scar on the top of Athrun's right hand, relishing the small contact. His voice rose once more. "Looking back, it was more peaceful than now, but I wouldn't say I was happy." Kira's face had turned somber, shadows falling over his eyes. 

Clutching Kira's hand tightly, Athrun lifted it to his mouth for a kiss. Tilting Kira's chin up to meet his eyes with his other palm, Athrun spoke firmly. "It was the same for me." 

After he had left for the military academy, everything had felt very hollow. Athrun had crossed other thresholds in his life, but they had all been less palpable than leaving Kira behind. The move had carved a wound into his heart, creating an emotional limp that had kept him from opening up to any others. He had found himself comparing everyone he met to his old friend, and always being disappointed. 

Athrun mapped the whorls in the fingertips of Kira's hand, trying to memorize their shape, drawing their echo inside his soul. "For the first year, I went to the orientation center every month to see if you had arrived with the new recruits. I always expected you would meet me there, and we would be together again," the bluenette confessed. 

Without Kira to brighten his life, Athrun had fallen into a meaningless routine. He had started leading an existence like an apparition, hauntingly empty. Like a body that had stupidly continued living without the heart, he had left behind with Kira. 

The pattern of well-behaved days had left Athrun slowly slipping into darkness. The crushing loneliness of the academy, the absence of his parents, and the fear that he would never see his best friend again; they were burdens which had weighed heavily upon the boy. Athrun had taken up a level of unemotional pragmatism which someone so young probably shouldn't have been capable of. "I got used to feeling alone, and after my mother died..." The bluenette labored to breathe. There had been so many moments when he hadn't been able to feel anything at all. 

"Oh, Athrun," Kira sighed drawing their foreheads together and wiping a stray tear away from dark lashes. 

Athrun inhaled deeply, breathing in the other's scent. "I would look at myself in the mirror and...It's like sometimes I could only see her face staring back at me." He had felt like a shell only holding the ghost of his mother's memory. Whenever he would finish showering, he would step out and catch her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Her emerald eyes blinking innocently, and her wet midnight blue hair that glistened under the fluorescents. 

Kira secured Athrun's eyes in a sturdy gaze. "When I look at you, I only see your face," he whispered, clutching the bluenette's shoulder. "I can see the pain in your eyes, but you are still you." 

Heavy lashes shifted away from Kira's heated look remorsefully. "Lacus, she told me I had changed into a different person, someone only filled with bitterness." 

Kira's hold on Athrun tightened. He opened his mouth only to close it again in the next second. The brunette remembered the face of the princess. She had found him in the hallway of the Archangel crying. At the time, he had been drowning in a miasma of blood and death. Lacus had calmed his heart, giving Kira company when he had felt utterly alone. Together, they had stared out at the vast emptiness of space, savoring the shining pinpricks of white light breaking through. It had been a welcome break from his internal turmoil. That night, she had unknowingly woven herself into his life through her knowledge of the one he loved most. 

The hand Kira had around Athrun's shoulder fiddled with the azure locks at the nape of the other's neck. "She's your fiance, right?" 

"Yes," The bluenette's face pulled into a tight-lipped smile, mind drifting to the faint aroma of peonies and afternoons spent sipping oolong. 

Violet searched emerald, seeking elaboration. "Do you love her?" 

Athrun swallowed thickly, under Kira's all-consuming scrutiny. "The marriage is a way for our parents to ensure the future for our family names," he gruffed, shifting his gaze to his hands. 

Kira wrinkled his brow, noting the evasive behavior. They had never had secrets between them before. "How do you feel?" 

Athrun's palms were damp. Lacus, she was so much more than she appeared to be, and he had known her for such a long time. How do I feel? "She's not you." The words tumbled out in one breath. Athrun looked up. "I can't live without you." His eyes pleaded with the brunette to understand. 

Kira nodded, content with the truth, letting Athrun pull him into a kiss once more. 

> _ C.E. 71: May 17th, Aprilius One, High-Security Prison, 14:00  _

They were both sprawled out on the prison cot once more, backs against the wall and legs hanging over the edge of the mattress. "You know," Athrun sighed, tilting his chest to face Kira. He tucked a stray chocolate lock behind the smaller boy's ear. "I always thought you were supposed to follow the orders of your nation and fight the enemy with all your strength." 

The smaller boy stayed silent, seeming to be gathering his thoughts. 

Athrun carried on, a melancholic half-smile gracing his lips. "I believed that there was no other way 

to bring a quick end to this war." He ran his fingers over the contour of Kira's tanned jaw. 

The brunette held his breath, heart thudding at the affectionate gesture. 

Athrun moved to brush the bangs out of Kira's face, wanting no parts of him to be hidden from view. "When you got out of the Strike, and I saw how injured you were, I was so afraid," he vented, voice sounding raspy. The ZAFT soldier had been tormented over the sight. From that day, his mind had not been able to block out the surfacing doubts over the ideals he had been carrying. 

The pale boy slumped uncharacteristically back against the wall. "How could we ever have become enemies?" 

Kira winced, tugging his knees up to his chest. "I-I'm sorry," the smaller boy croaked. "I never wanted to fight you. 

Athrun softened at the all-teary apology. 

"I know that many people have died...and I've killed many people-" the brunette's voice broke over the words. 

"Kira," Athrun interrupted, not liking the other's self-deprecating tone. He sat up, pulling the smaller boy into his embrace. "You were just trying to keep the people on the Archangel alive," he assured. 

Kira relaxed into his arms, tucking his head into the bend of Athrun's neck, breathing deeply to settle his trembling breath. After several moments he spoke, voice tight. "Yeah," he agreed. "Still, though," his voice swelled, looking down at his hands. "Now that I've pulled a trigger, I can't go back." 

Athrun stroked Kira's back, doing what he could to soothe the fragile boy. He wouldn't deny the other's words. He knew they had both become killers. 

Kira shifted in Athrun's arms. "I can't help wondering though, what the point of it all was." 

The bluenette blinked, marveling at how little Kira had truly changed; he was still asking impossibly loaded questions. Athrun leaned in, uttering in a hushed voice, "I don't know. I thought I was doing what I needed to in order to bring about peace. Except, now, ...I'm not sure that's even what the council wants," he confessed. 

Violet eyes looked at him knowingly. "Is it your father?" 

Athrun tensed, touching his fingers to the front of Kira's neck, feeling the even thrum of his heartbeat under the skin. With a quiet grunt, the bluenette rested his hand on the other's shoulder. "Lately, he seems crazed." Something had been wrong in the elder Zala's eyes the last time they had spoken in private. Athrun had trouble recognizing him. He had even chided Athrun for not calling him by his full title. "He was never a very tolerant man, but he's changed since my mother's death." 

Kira held the other a bit tighter. "Do you think he hates naturals?" 

"My father believes that coordinators are a new species which can exist independently of naturals, so sometimes I think that he wishes they didn't exist." Athrun was relatively sure his father equated all naturals with the members of Blue Cosmos. The thought gave him chills. He closed his eyes, considering what he wanted to say. "Since he took the chairman's seat on the council, it feels like the sentiments of all ZAFT soldiers have begun to reflect his." 

"Hmm," Kira toned. "It seems like we're destined to continue down this path with the war spiraling out of control." 

"I know," Athrun grimaced. Military tactics had become far more extreme. His brand new nuclear- powered machine stood as evidence of that. After everything the people on the PLANTs had been through, the bluenette couldn't understand why ZAFT had been willing to construct N-jammer cancellers. 

Kira tilted his head thoughtfully, and being unable to stifle his hunger for contact, he reached out to stroke Athrun's furrowed brow. "What's strange is that I haven't met many people who truly hate coordinators, yet, everyone seems to have some kind of reason to fight." 

Athrun shivered from the brush of Kira's fingers. His mind raced, trying not to give into the futility creeping in around the corner. "So, what should we really be fighting against in order to end the war?" 

"I'm not exactly sure..." Kira sighed. "However, we can't go on like this. Killing in order to avenge those who were lost has only brought us to a never-ending cycle of violence." 

The bluenette laced his fingers with Kira's, holding them over his chest. That's exactly what has happened. 

"But Athrun," Kira's voice rose again. He lifted the other's pale chin to catch his emerald gaze. "We can look for the answer to your question together." 

In struck silence, Athrun stared at the determined flames licking around the edges of amethyst orbs. 

Together, his heart echoed. 

> _ C.E. 71: May 20th, Alaska, Josh-A, Archangel, 07:00  _

Miriallia knew it was foolish, but she had wandered down to the prisoner's cells. She had some questions to ask that pilot about Tolle. Her mind had been turning nonstop. She hadn't slept in days. Had he really been the one to kill him? 

Peeking around the corner of one of the walls, amethyst eyes immediately locked with hers. Mir gasped and turned to run. 

"No, wait," the boy cried out, sitting up in his bunk. His head was wrapped in bandages now. He had been pretty injured from the event the other day. When Mir had attacked him, he had thrown himself through the aluminum privacy screen of the bunk he was laying in to avoid her blade. His dodge had been successful, but his head had been hurt by the force he hit the screen with; or, that's what she had overheard him explaining to the doctor anyway. 

Mir turned back at the boy's call. Her eyes had already filled with tears. 

The boy straightened awkwardly, fidgeting with the blankets around his lap. "Uh, so where was you're uh, boyfriend when..." 

Mir stood outside the bars to his cell, but she wouldn't look at him. Instead, she kept her eyes trained on the wall across the way. "He was in a Skygrasper...at the island when you guys made that last attack on us." She held her breath waiting for his response. 

"Uh, Skygrasper?" he asked, confusion pinching his brows. 

The brunette wrapped her arms around herself. "A fighter plane, a blue and white one," she clarified, voice quiet and wobbly. 

The blonde's body slouched. "It wasn't me," the soldier sighed as he laid back down in his cot. After a moment of silence, he looked back at her almost as a second thought. "Hmm, what's the matter? Might as well get to it if you came to kill me." His tone of voice was back to its regular jeering vivacity. 

Mir ignored him and quietly left the area, unsure of what she was supposed to be feeling. 

> _ C.E. 71: May 30th, Aprilius One, High-Security Prison, 18:00  _

Kira laid with a cheek to the ground of his cell. The chilly surface of the gray polymer bit into his flesh, but he didn't mind. It was a reminder that he was still there. 

The room was sparsely furnished, with little more than two cots, a toilet, and a poor excuse of a sink. The thin film of dust that had accumulated in the corners of the room was the only thing that spared any hint to how many days he had been locked away. 

The weeks had passed with a slow monotonous drone of meal times and supervised showers. He had almost nothing to occupy his mind during the terrible stretches between those affairs, leaving him with far too much room for meditating. Kira had learned the hard way how easily one's life could be expunged by the willful action of another. He knew the blood on his hands made him complicitous in the continuation of the war. The empty days had left him lost in thoughts of death, of what he truly wanted, and the role of his friend-turned-something. 

Kira recalled the people on the Archangel. The reassuring parental presence of Captain Ramius, and Mwu. And then there was Cagalli, a bright flare in the darkness of all his experiences. 

It all seemed so distant. 

Had he really known them, or had it all been a long nightmare? Kira felt like he had slipped into a realm of non-existence, everything outside of the four walls of his cell was slowly fading away. 

The brunette's nights were occupied by dreams in which he could hear their voices calling out to him. Garbled and strange, they reached him through a wall of water. The last several nights Kira had woken up bathed in sweat, their cries echoing in his ears. 

The only thing which had cut through his blurry existence had been Athrun. 

Their moments together had been perfect bubbles of time and space which had remained unaffected by outside forces. Kira pondered just when they had begun to forge that barrier between them and everyone else, insulating themselves to such an extent that people on the outside seemed to be a completely different sort of being. 

Kira endured the voids of time by walking through his memories of Athrun, concentrating on all the details he could remember; the texture of his ivory skin, dark pupils buried in storms of emerald, midnight tresses that smelled like home. These were the things that made up the world, the seams of Kira's life. 

> _ C.E. 71: June 1st, Aprilius One, High-Security Prison, 08:00 _

The cell door slid open for the first time that afternoon. Athrun carried a tray of food in with him, resting it on a table at the foot of the bed. Then he sat down next to Kira, squinting distractedly as he set the timer on his watch. 

There had been a growing gnawing feeling inside his stomach, making it difficult to eat anything. The Supreme Council was becoming suspicious. They knew he was far too effective of a soldier to only be making the pitiful progress he had been presenting to them. Kira had provided him with harmless pieces of code that he had fed to the council as some sort of product for their sessions, but his flimsy results would not keep the wolves at bay for long. The time to act was quickly approaching. Athrun needed to make some decisions, and he needed to do it quickly. 

Athrun was certain the council had already determined Kira was too much of a publicity risk to keep around, as soon as they no longer had a use for the other, he would be declared treasonous and executed. Athrun could not let that happen, he would sooner die himself. 

The only question was, exactly what should he do? His first instinct was to rescue Kira from the prison, but where could they even go? 

"Athrun?" Kira rasped, voice unaccustomed to speaking out loud. Clearly, something was on the bluenette's mind. 

Athrun shook his head as if to rid himself of troublesome thoughts, before turning his attention over at Kira and smiling, instantly relaxing at the sight of the other. He reached for Kira, leaning forwards, gathering his limbs into his arms. Athrun pressed a chaste kiss to the boy's cheek just below his lashes. 

Kira closed his eyes, making an effort to memorize the feeling of Athrun's touch for later. The nearness of another human being had already become so unfamiliar. "Wait-um, I wanted to ask..." 

Athrun smoothed the line of worry between Kira's brows and stroked the coffee-colored smudges under his eyes. He knew Kira couldn't be sleeping well and wished for the hundredth time that he could be the one confined in the brunette's place. 

"I wanted to ask..." 

His voice brushed over Athrun's eardrums like velvet. The bluenette sounded an acknowledgment into Kira's cheek. 

The smaller boy shifted in his arms, fidgeting with the ends of Athrun's uniform. "Someone at the hospital told me you stayed with me when I was unconscious." 

"Yeah," the bluenette admitted. He hadn't realized Kira had known about that. 

The brunette pulled back so he could watch the expression on the other's face. "Why didn't you come back after I woke up?" 

"I guess..." Athrun sighed dejectedly. "I thought you wouldn't want to see me." 

Violet orbs flickered. "I always want to see you." Kira turned away, eyes obscured by the curtain of his bangs. 

Athrun's heart swelled at the response. The bluenette couldn't recall making a decision to lean in, but there he was, pulling the other against him. 

Kira began to shake in his arms. He tore their lips apart and buried his tear-strewn face into Athrun's shoulder. 

The bluenette's mind froze as violet eyes locked on him. "Kira?" he asked, voice lined with fear. "What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" 

Kira shook his head 'no'. 

"What is it? I don't understand." 

"I don't know," Kira hiccuped through sobs. "I just-please don't let me go again!" The plea escaped his lips before he could stop it. 

Athrun tightened his grip on the boy. "Listen to me Kira," he said with a distinct seriousness. "I am never going to leave you again, I swear." Mustering all of the force he possessed, Athrun tried to express just how sincere he was. He held Kira, keeping the shaking boy pressed against his chest until he could calm himself down. 

When Kira had finally stilled, Athrun leaned back a bit so that he could examine the other. He cradled his swollen face between his pale hands, fingers brushing tears out from under his eyes, and laid a gentle kiss on his forehead. Kira closed his eyes and breathed deeply, relaxing into the caring touches. 

Athrun closed the distance between their mouths, hands clinging to those messy brown locks, trying to kiss the smaller boy deeply enough to merge their separate bodies into one being. If there was one thing he was certain of, it was that he would never let this creature go again. No matter what it took, he refused to ever be separated from Kira. 

The bluenette pressed the other's frame into the mattress beneath them. Lightly nipping at Kira's bottom lip, he ran his tongue along it, coaxing the beautiful boy underneath him to open his mouth in the smallest of parts. Gaining access, Athrun curled his tongue around Kira's, both boys groaning as they moved against each other. Tongues intermingled, no area untouched. 

There was something urgent in the way Kira responded to him, starved for contact. 

The brunette's head started to cloud at the new sensations, leaving him dizzy and drunk on the other. Tremors raked through his body from the feeling pooling up in his chest. It all felt so good. Kira's pulse quickened at the brush of Athrun's breath near his neck, and the unexpected tingle of pleasure when he bit the underside of his tanned jaw. 

Athrun's hands slid down Kira's white T-shirt, slipping beneath the top. Pale thumbs grazing the heated skin there and sloping over his tawny hip bones. Athrun managed to tug Kira's shirt up his chest so that it was bunching over the delicate curve of his ribs bearing most of his skin for viewing. 

The bluenette groaned at the sight of Kira's bare flesh. He was very slim. 

Kira's eyes flew open, locking with the sultry emerald gaze. "Athrun," he moaned. Even with their bodies knitted together, Kira wished he could unbutton Athrun's skin and slip inside. His mind was burning for him to let go, to yield everything to the bluenette above him and leave behind his whirlwind of indecision and suffering for the familiarity of Athrun's protection. 

The larger boy moved his attention to the parts of Kira's body he had newly uncovered. A silky tanned stomach stretched over hips alluringly. He ran his fingers from the bottom of Kira's ribs down over the flesh of his tummy. Grasping Kira's hips with both hands, he massaged circles over the bones with his thumbs, pressing softly into the pliant flesh under his waistline. 

Kira moaned appreciatively. 

The larger boy continued his ministrations, moving his fingers once more to pull Kira's shirt up even farther. Tugging it over the chocolate haired boy's head, it got stuck momentarily. He went the untangle the cloth but caught a spark of something in Kira's eyes that made him rethink it. Hesitating at first, he glanced at the shirt again only to notice Kira had frozen. The brunette's eyes had blown wide, accompanied by a red flush across his cheeks. Athrun resolved himself to experiment by knotting the shirt even worse, hoping his instincts were correct. He trapped Kira's arms above his head as he continued to fondle the smaller boy's delicious body. 

Kira's heart was skipping. With his arms restrained above his head, the brunette was unable to do much but receive Athrun's touches. Arching his neck Kira allowed the other further access, feeling the pressures of any responsibility shifting elsewhere. Athrun would handle things from here. 

Kissing Kira deeply once more, the bluenette sealed his lips over the other's pink, wettened pair. Paying close attention to the texture of those tender lips before sliding boldly into his mouth, teeth slanting together messily. The smaller boy moaned into his mouth, hair raising at the salacious feeling. 

Athrun kissed all the way down his jaw to his left ear. He ran his tongue over the sensitive shell, capturing the lobe between his teeth, making Kira suck in a breath. The brunette willed his body to relax as Athrun lit it on fire. 

"Kira, tell me you belong to me." The voice was heady and somewhat stern. Athrun delivered the command wanting to see how far he could stretch Kira before he protested. 

Violet eyes fluttered open, face reddening even further. The boy moaned in a long-strangled sound of pleasure as his entire body shook. 

"A-thrun...I..mnnn belong to you." He barely managed to get the words out through his own heavy breathing. 

Athrun stared at Kira, wondering how he could possibly have ever lured this angel into loving him let alone allowing him to touch his body so intimately. The air was thick between them, so heavy Athrun felt dizzy. He kissed his way hotly down Kira's chest leaving small nips as he went. Finally, he captured a hardened nipple in his mouth and gave it a light suck. 

The smaller boy keened beneath him gasping at the new sensation, "Ahh!" 

The bluenette smiled widely around the pink nipple, finding the other with his free hand. He rolled the swollen red nub under his thumb and pinched it, only receiving even heavier satisfied noises from Kira. The boy was mewling desperately for more. Kira's pants felt so tight and Athrun's mouth was so hot, sending little spasms of pleasure through his nipples. Every thought that wasn't Athrun's body on his, fell away. Brain close to dysfunctional, he ground his hips against Athrun's trying desperately to find release. The whole affair was beyond anything Kira had ever experienced. 

Athrun sensed the urgency in the other, leaning back up, straddling him. The bluenette clasped Kira's wrists once more and tried to calm him with a kiss on the mouth. "Shhh be a good boy," Athrun whispered at him. He wanted the smaller boy to settle down, but the words did anything but calm Kira. 

The sensations of Athrun's body, its weight solidly pressing on top of his own, ensnaring his wrists above his head, that hot mouth kissing him; it was all just too much for the chocolate-haired boy who had been without any human touch for weeks. Upon instructing him to behave, Kira was gasping and letting out a strangled moan, cumming, while Athrun still had his mouth sealed over his. 

With his eyes closed the bluenette felt the shudders run through Kira. He blinked and stared at the smaller boy in astonishment. "Did you just..." his head swam, afraid to even ask. 

All he got in the way of a response was a horrified expression from the violet-eyed boy and his immediate attempts to avoid Athrun's eye contact. Things had just picked up so quickly, he hadn't even meant for it to happen. Athrun's pants tightened painfully around his groin, he was so hard. A moment ago he had his body under control, but feeling the shudder of Kira's release while their mouths were locked together had crumpled Athrun's discipline. 

And as illogical as it was, Athrun's ego swelled. He had made Kira cum by barely touching him. If that wasn't impressive, he didn't know what was. After all, he knew it must have been his fault somehow, but his own frustrating inexperience left him guessing as to what exactly he might have done to overwhelm Kira so powerfully. The other was bashfully trying to bury his face in the mattress, clearly flustered beyond belief. 

"Kira," he said lightly, trying to show him that he wasn't upset. The boy kept his face stubbornly buried in the mattress pad. "Hey, Kira, It's alright," he tried again, but there was still no reaction. Athrun groaned, his cock twitching against the metal of his pants zipper. "You're going to drive me crazy if you keep having these sexy reactions every time I come near you." That got his attention. 

Kira peaked out from the mattress. "You...think I'm sexy?" he husked. 

The larger boy looked down into Kira's eyes, holding both of those red-tinged cheeks. He leaned in for a kiss. Kira, thank goodness, allowed for the gesture. "Can't you feel how much I want you?" Athrun was sure that his hardness could not have gone unnoticed this long with the way he had been pressing so tightly against the other. 

The question caused another eruption of deep red to seep up Kira's neck all the way into his hair roots. The boy swallowed thickly before nodding. 

He awarded him with a gentle kiss on the cheek. "Good boy." 

Kira's breath hitched in his throat, mouth parting, and hips twitching, unconsciously seeking contact. Athrun watched the familiar reaction, realization dawning on him. Watching the brunette whined lewdly under him, brows cinching together he made a silent promise to himself. He was going to memorize every slight reaction and utterance the violet-eyed boy ever made until he could make him cum whenever, and however, he pleased. 

Athrun grasped Kira's head with both of his hands once more, pulling him up into a bruising kiss, moaning deeply, twisting their tongues together. He didn't want to pull back, wishing to only mold their disparate forms into one. His cock was so stiff it was nearly painful. He could no longer ignore it, and Kira's devious little hips were not helping at all. He didn't know how exactly the brunette could be responding so strongly right after cumming, but he wasn't complaining. 

"A-athrun, untie me, I-I want to t-touch you," Kira stammered out in the moments that he could escape from Athrun's relentless devouring mouth. He didn't get a response but he felt the larger boy begin to mess around with his knotted shirt impatiently. Athrun couldn't think properly, his hands shook. He needed a release, and it needed to happen straight away. 

Just as he had finally, finally, untied that godforsaken knot, the alarm for his timer went off. Athrun's shoulders stiffened from where he was hunched over Kira's mouth, his hands dug into the brunette's wrists, and he gave out an unbridled growl. Fuck! his mind blared. But then he was noticing the shaken look in Kira's violet orbs. Realizing that his outburst had scared the other, helped to calm him. Forcing his body to relax with a series of steady breaths he sat back to free Kira of his weight. 

With another deep breath, Athrun was up on his feet, bending towards his loved one. "Kira, I have to go. I'm out of time." Kira's big eyes had followed his movements and were now peeping up at him miserably. The look tugged painfully on his heart. He couldn't stop himself from leaning forward to 

caress the chocolate-headed boy's babyish face. 

"I'm sorry, I don't want to go." 

"I know, Athrun," Kira contended, voice low. 

The bluenette smiled at him trying to lighten the mood, and attempting to comfort his fragile companion. He nuzzled their noses together playfully. Then, Athrun asked with a teasing look in his eyes, "is my baby boy going to be well behaved while I'm gone?" 

Kira's eyes blew wide at the question, struck between being offended and turned on, before shadows veiled violet eyes once more. "It's not as if I'm going anywhere." 

Athrun wasn't having it. He refused to leave Kira in such a somber mood. He tilted Kira's chin up so that he couldn't avoid his gaze. With a harder voice, he asked, "are you going to be a good boy, Kira?" He waited expectantly as Kira's cheeks tinged with pink. 

The brunette swallowed before he answered unsteadily. "Y-yes, I'll be good." 

Athrun rewarded him with a solemn smile and a kiss to his dimpled cheek, "that's what I like to hear." He stood up about to leave but hesitated to look back at Kira on the bed. "I love you." 

Kira stared longingly at him. "I love you too, Athrun." 

Just keep moving, the bluenette told himself. That phrase had become his mantra. He would figure out a solution soon. They could not lose hope. 

> _ C.E. 71: June 8th, Aprilius One, Soldier's Quarters, 24:00  _

The lights in his room were off, and most of the soldiers in the building had already retired to sleep, but Athrun still had work to do. 

The FAITH agent was trying to hack into ZAFT's security network to obtain more information surrounding Kira's imprisonment. The council had seemed even more off during their last conversation. He needed to know if anything had been decided without his knowledge. There had been multiple firewalls set up, but he had found a way to enter the network disguised as a cleaning bot. After hours of scrolling through streams of encrypted data and multiple attempts to convert the code, he wasn't having much success. What had only been a dull headache when he had started working, had progressed into an oppressive throb behind his eyes. Despite this, Athrun pressed on with his task. 

Changing tactics, in another window he opened the web-based access page for the server ZAFT used to deliver orders to soldiers. Crouched over the blue light of his monitor, his hands flew over the keyboard. Finding a back door inside, he obscured the signal from his own computer. 

Athrun created a bogus file and fed the data from the security network into the system using it as a proxy translator. His heart hammered in his ears as he watched the chains of digits transform into text. It's working. He held his breath, scanning through what had already been made legible for any hint of the Strike pilot. He was looking for orders that might have been issued to other soldiers, or possibly a set execution date. 

The page glitched. 

The data stopped converting, and began erasing itself. In seconds, the window was blank and had 

locked him out. 

He slammed his fist down on the desk in, teeth bared. The system had detected his presence and had most likely shut down in order to protect itself. Fury filled him at the insanity of the scenario he and Kira were facing. 

Athrun just hadn't been fast enough. He was good, sure. The bluenette had learned to program in the same calculated manner which he had approached all other subjects which had been necessary for his education. He knew everything he needed to in order to ace to exams, and impress his instructors, but he had never excelled at hacking. This sort of stealthy activity was more Kira's area. He knew going any further was too high of a risk. Beyond any count of dereliction of duties, if he were to be discovered, Athrun would be thrown in a cell beside Kira's. 

He stared blankly at his screen as it blinked a battery warning message at him. The bluenette closed the computer. A bone-deep weariness settled over him. 

> _ C.E. 71: June 9th, Aprilius One, Soldier's Quarters, 01:00  _

Stepping under the cool spray did little to relax his senses, only forcing him to close his eyes. 

Since his last visit, thoughts of Kira had haunted him everywhere he went. His smell, his taste, that truly genuine smile which unfolded just for Athrun, telling him that Kira had always loved him, and he had been such a fool to not have seen it sooner. 

Their distance was becoming too much for him. Athrun's entire body craved the other. 

The image of Kira's face fighting for breath after release had washed over him and burned into the back of his eyelids. Having not have been able to do anything about his own situation at the time. Athrun had been forced to rearrange himself uncomfortably and walk stiffly out of the cell until he could find some relief in private. Little good it had done, though. His own hand felt like a cheap substitute for the thing he was needing. 

The thoughts, over what he had actually done with Kira were really just the start of his troubles. His mind had started coming up with new scenarios of things he wanted to try with Kira. But what he was even less prepared for was the recent resurgence of several old fantasies from his younger days. Strikingly, his very first, and most privately cherished special imagery had become the main feature of his waking mind. 

Kira, having come from a Japanese family was used to bathing with other people and hadn't realized that it wasn't the norm. When they had still been sharing a dorm room, he had joined the brunette in the bathroom several times. Athrun had never said anything. As time passed and he had begun to understand his emerging feelings for the other, there seemed to be even less reason to mention the cultural difference. He had not wanted to miss any of his chances to be in such close proximity with Kira. They always left their towels around their waists. Usually, sitting on stools as they scrubbed each other's backs. The bluenette had been able to hide his reactions to the thrill of touching his friend so intimately. With Kira's back turned to him, violet eyes had never seen Athrun's hands trembling. 

It had been years since Athrun had allowed himself to enter that territory of his brain. To return to what had once been a fixed detail during his time alone with himself. 

Kira, eyes closed, and long lashes fanning against cheeks, flushed from the warmth of the room, he tilted his face back under the showerhead to catch the water. 

Before Athrun had been so plagued with yearning and missing of the other, he simply couldn't bear the short-lived fulfillment of jerking off to the thought. The feeling of loss following release would have been too high a price to pay. Now, though...with Kira so close. 

Athrun swallowed hard. 

Picturing Kira as he was now, filled out and more beautiful than he ever thought possible. Undone by the sight, by his scent, the prospect of more, by the memory of how he felt under his fingertips. He wrapped his hand around himself, remembering the way Kira's chest had looked arched back in pleasure, when he had touched him, and how his attractive little nipples had peaked towards him all rosy and stiff. His mouth, so soft and pink, bottom lip especially puffy, perpetually making Athrun hungry to nibble on it. 

Those sensuous lips warmed by steam and wettened by droplets of water. 

How many times had he imagined them parting for him? How would they feel sucking along his length? 

The emerald-eyed boy slicked his hand with soap to mimic the wet feeling of a mouth as he imagined those pink lips stretching over his head and the feeling of that hot tongue against him. Athrun's hands moved briskly, imagining Kira's violet eyes blinking shut as Athrun thrust deep into him. 

The bluenette could hardly stop his hips from twitching forwards, immersing himself completely in the vision. His mind was overtaken by his most carnal urges, some primal part of him craving that heated throat. Messaging his hand up and down himself, Athrun pictured Kira's kneeling submissive face, willingly letting him inside. Maybe even moaning for him. 

At that moment, he would have done nearly anything to have the boy beneath him for real, so that he could weave his hands through those chocolate locks as he buried himself up to the hilt in Kira's mouth, watching himself be swallowed all the way. 

He beat himself furiously in his hand, hips jerking. Cherry lips bloated from the abuse had slipped off him. Violet eyes twinkled at him and a mouth opened obscenely, poking a slick little tongue out, ready to taste the bluenette's load. 

He was cumming. 

Only it wasn't into Kira's waiting mouth. 

He was alone in a cold shower. 

Letting out a strangled sob as a stream of cum splattered up onto his chest Athrun crumpled to the floor of the shower. Bleeding inwardly at the indisputable truth of his loneliness, feeling himself slowly disappearing bit by bit. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why, but I always had this headcanon that Kira would secretly be into bdsm. Probably that one jacket...


	5. Fields of Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lacus sweeps into Athrun's life/room and plays her hand. There may be a glimmer of hope left for Kira after all.

> _ C .E. 71: June 9th, Aprilius One, High-Security Prison, 6:00  _

Kira could sense Athrun's presence. 

Without even touching him, he knew the bluenette was standing there behind him. The other's company bathed him in a tranquil sensation. Pale arms wrapped around his smaller frame, snagging him from behind. The smooth consistency of Athrun's skin on his felt so right. The other was pressing tightly against him, their legs intersecting. His proximity didn't feel like enough. Kira wanted the bluenette closer still. 

"I love you," Athrun sighed. 

The other's voice slid through Kira like liquid smoke, making his knees weaken. Hot breath blew against his ear, and he couldn't help but tremble. 

The bluenette slipped his hands down tanned sides, stroking his fingers over Kira's body; Kira's heart pulsed at every touch, warmth pooling in his belly. Athrun's wandering hands squeezed the flesh of his inner thigh, causing Kira to let out a long-broken moan. 

It all fuelled Kira's mind with something he hadn't even known he was hungry for. 

As pale hands inched closer to his heated center, the touch vanished. 

The images around him changed, and Kira felt himself being thrown through space, light bending around him and morphing into a picture that was all too familiar. 

Flashes of a battleground, the rusty scent of blood stuck to his nostrils, a piece of half-melted slag from the Skygrasper left behind in the dirt, accompanied by the crushed remnants of an origami flower. They were a reminder that he had failed, a scene he had visited every night. 

A diffuse light covered the sky, already painted red from blood. The warm tones blanketed the earth in the absence of any sun. Kira walked through the ruins, passing the Strike and the Aegis, moving towards a red shield that glinted menacingly out from a pile of rubble like a headstone. 

The shield extended before him, the edges of its metal blurring off into a vaporous substance. The strange mist carried the cloying presence of death's perfume. 

Ragged breaths scraped past his teeth, his chest wreathed in flames. He tried not to cry out, but just as the fire in his ribcage grew unbearable, soothing arms settled back around him again. 

Kira was blanketed in the scent of the one he knew best. He tried to turn towards his friend, though his body moved slowly like he was stepping through honey. 

Pale hands resting on his hips helped him move, rotating Kira's body to face the one behind him. 

Kira's sight was met with wet emerald eyes and slumped pale shoulders. Still, despite the melancholic qualities of his expression, Athrun's gaze held something solid which the brunette could hang onto. 

The ricochet of a gunshot thrust him back toward consciousness. He felt the ground drop out beneath him, and he was falling. 

Kira gasped, body jolting in his bed. His muscles were tense and ready to brace himself from plummeting to the ground, but there was no fall, only the hard mattress under his fingertips. His jarred mind slowly began to register the four walls of his cell absent of Athrun's warmth. 

> _ C.E. 71: June 9th, Aprilius One, Gamow, 11:00  _

Yzak wandered the halls of the Gamow. He had just ended a rather uncomfortable talk with his mother; but, at least she couldn't kiss his cheek over a video call. As a council member who was "in the know," Ezalia Joule had a habit of sneaking him extra bits of information. He knew she saw it as a part of her job as his mother: her version of love. 

He had been groomed to be a soldier his entire life. She had groomed him into one. Not that he was complaining, really; the position suited him, and he couldn't remember ever wanting to be anything else anyway. 

All of the recent changes had left him feeling a bit off. 

Yzak was a person who needed things to aspire to. There had always been some goal fixed in the distance for him. From his time at the Academy, Yzak had been in competition with Athrun, constantly trying to outdo his unrightfully skilled teammate. The bluenette had graduated at the top of the class: one place above him. 

One fucking place. 

The humiliation hadn't done much to kindle a friendship with the bluenette. Athrun was gone now though, his FAITH assignment had taken him away from the Gamow to handle some task above Yzak's clearance level, or so he had been told after trying to pry around for details. 

The silver-haired teen had also been intent on killing the pilot of the Strike. 

The scar on his face itched. 

He had caught himself absently rubbing the mutilated flesh many times. It had been a symbol of his conviction to take out the Strike, but now that they had captured the pilot, Yzak wondered if he should have it removed. 

The silver-haired boy trudged passed the Gamow's lounge, the din of conversations murmuring through the hallway. He wasn't in the mood to be surrounded by any other soldiers. 

Usually, if he developed any sort of hangup, Yzak would have turned to Dearka. His snarky old friend always had the words to snap him out of it, and if all else failed, the blonde had a particular knack for diverting his attention with some brazen statement. Except, now, Dearka had been taken by the Naturals. Yzak hadn't said as much to any of the soldiers who had asked about Dearka's capture, but he secretly prayed that his friend was okay. 

Once he gained some distance, all he could hear was the hum of the ship's engines. The Gamow wasn't a huge ship, but there were several areas he had never seen. There had always been something else to do. 

According to his mother, the "Zala Team," or what was left of it, would be deployed again soon; the painful lull that had taken over the ship would finally come to an end. Honestly, Yzak was grateful for the distraction. Having nothing to occupy his time hadn't been pleasant. His focus had been off, and he had been stuck with an annoyingly unshakeable voice telling him that nothing had really been resolved. Despite all of the recent military accomplishments, he felt like the war had only grown in intensity. His new orders hadn't helped to quiet the irritating voice in his head either. 

It had been many years since he had memorized The Art of War, so he knew the council's plans at least made sense on a rational level. Sun Tzu's famous lines from Laying Plans told him the twisting feeling in his gut shouldn't be there because "All warfare is based on deception." Except, the words seemed far more acceptable printed in an ancient book than they did as an explanation for ZAFT's military operations. 

The faint sound of music drifted into the hall, something slow and very quiet. 

Yzak followed the noise to an unfamiliar room, pulled in by the haunting melody. 

His eyes widened when they landed on a familiar person. Nicol was seated on a stool playing his keyboard, fingers dancing over the keys, and brows furrowed in concentration. His body looked different than Yzak had ever seen it. There was something sure about it, a total certainty inscribed into each movement, breathing life into himself with each dynamic gesture of his fingers. 

The melody began to slowly build, leaving behind its mellifluous notes for something heavier. It trailed an ominous atmosphere over his senses; the impression of something terrible still to come. It sent chills down his spine. The harmony was more melancholy than Yzak would have believed his teammate to be capable of. 

He found himself unable to move. 

The music filled him up. It held an uncanny feeling of something forgotten, and yet at the same time, Yzak knew he had never heard it before; he was sure. His well-bred upbringing had been packed with compositions by all the prominent names, yet he couldn't match the bittersweet notes filling his ears with any known title or musician. 

Nicol played the last notes of the piece, hands falling from the keys to burrow into the pockets of his pants. "Did you need something?" 

Yzak jumped, throat going dry. How long had Nicol known he was there? "W-what was that?" he stumbled, unsure of why he was having such a hard time talking. 

Nicol didn't budge. He sat hunched with his back to Yzak. "It's private." All the confidence which he had been brimming with while playing, had faded off. The boy was back to looking like he always did. 

"Was it yours?" The silver-haired boy straightened the sleeves of his uniform. 

Nicol bowed his mop of green hair. "Yeah," he exhaled tonelessly. 

The room suddenly felt too small for both of them. 

"I... didn't know you composed..." Yzak trailed off. 

Nicol turned, glancing over at the rigid soldier in the doorway. "Oh... I thought Athrun might have told you." 

Yzak wasn't sure what to say. 

Nicol carried on with a voice that sounded strangled. "He came to one of my concerts back home, but he fell asleep." 

The silver-haired boy struggled to understand how anyone could do such a thing. 

Brandy eyes were still glancing at him, flickering over Yzak's form. He was standing awkwardly, not wanting to leave, but not able to enter the room. "Are you alright?" 

Yzak bristled, crossing his arms over his chest. "Yes," he sneered. 

Nicol shrugged, turning away. 

A tense silence fell between them. I should just leave, he thought. But he couldn't make his body move. His mouth opened, feeling the need to talk, but uncertain of what to say. 

Nicol had started jotting something down on some pages of sheet music. 

"We've been deployed again." The words came out harsher than he had intended. 

The pianist twisted to look at him, mouth ajar. 

He wore that same stupidly meek expression Yzak had seen on his face a hundred times. 

"W-where?" Nicol stammered. 

The silver-haired boy's mouth pressed into a tight line. He looked off to the side. "Alaska." 

> _ C.E. 71: June 9th, Aprilius One, Supreme Council Hall, 13:00  _

"Athrun Zala, please make your report," his father ordered. 

The bluenette was back in the council room, and it was time for him to reveal everything he had "uncovered". For two months, the council had allowed him to supply brief updates of his progress, 

but their concession had reached its limit. 

Drawing up the impalpable, transparent wall between his consciousness and the world, he prepared himself to speak. Athrun's jaw was tense, but he forced the words to come out. "As you know, the GAT-X105 Strike's current OS has completely replaced the original OMNI NV8-N099 version made with space battle in mind as its primary function." 

The FAITH agent received several nods from the council members. Most of their eyes were looking away, leafing through the documents he had presented them with. 

Athrun shifted his feet, broadening his stance. "Due to the Archangel's dependence on the Strike, the machine accumulated a huge storage of combat data in various settings. The Strike has been adapted for underwater, air, ground, and sand battles as well as having improved upon its original performance potential in space." 

ZAFT had nearly finished reassembling the Strike, but the council was still waiting on the codes for the OS. 

Only, Athrun couldn't give them those. 

Kira had outright refused to release the information to ZAFT. Even if doing so was a sensible act of self-preservation. To avoid a scenario where the council might vote to execute him, Kira should have complied. Nevertheless, Kira believed that if ZAFT had access to his full OS, they would apply its information to all their Mobile Suits, and their forces would become too dangerous. 

Of course, he was right. Obviously, ZAFT would use any advantages they could find to win the war, but Athrun wasn't willing to risk Kira's life over the issue. At this point, it made no sense for Kira to be so fiercely protective of the Strike's data. He was not loyal to the EA, only the people on the Archangel. Risking his own life over one OS was crazy. Still, the brunette had dug his heels in. 

It had been eight days from when Athrun had seen Kira last, so the bluenette had not received any other opportunities to convince Kira of his perspective. It left him no choice but to move forward with their plan. 

Kira had given Athrun other pieces of information as a compromise. Certain modifications that Kira had made, which he apparently didn't consider as problematic as others. Athrun's only hope was to distract the council with them. 

"In the battle where Mr. Yamato defeated Commander Waltfeld, he was utilizing adaptations to his OS, which accounted for the decreased contact pressure of desert sand. He modified his movement programs." 

There were several elements of environment-specific fine-tuning, which Kira had applied to the Strike over the last several months. Athrun's plan was to excite the council by the prospect of creating all-purpose machines rather than relying on many different designs. It would make training pilots easier and could potentially reduce weapons costs by mass-producing Mobile Suits for the future. Hopefully, it would be enough. 

"These are adjustments that ZAFT has never been successful in perfecting, and so humanoid Mobile Suits have never before been known to surpass the TMF/A-802 BuCUE's in the desert. Recent combat data from the Duel and Buster supports these findings." 

Video feed ran on the monitor behind him to help illustrate the difficulties his teammates had faced in the desert. Athrun caught the surprised look on Eileen Canaver's face. She was a part of the 

Diplomatic Committee, so he wouldn't have expected her to be familiar with any details associated with Mobile Suit performances. 

He vaguely registered Canaver's long blonde hair falling over her face as she jotted some notes down. "BuCUE's function by relying heavily on a quadruped build and other tread adaptations in order to maintain better balance on irregular terrain. However, the BuCUE's are also limited by their build. They are not nearly as versatile as a traditional Mobile Suit." 

Athrun felt his father's eyes on him. Had the elder Zala figured out what he was doing? His heartbeat sped up and he had to struggle to keep his voice level. A moment later, steely eyes fell away from his form. 

The bluenette swallowed thickly, trying to wet his mouth. "We now know that by adjusting the friction coefficient and setting the granularity of the sand to negative twenty, a humanoid Mobile Suit is able to maximize its maneuverability in the challenging desert terrain." 

He rubbed his sweaty fingers together, trying to pad them dry on the front of his uniform pants without anyone noticing. Almost done, just get through it, he told himself. "Another notable point arises with the Archangel's encounter with a Vosgulov-class submarine which was equipped with several amphibious mobile suits known as UMF-4A GOOhN's. The Strikes battle with these machines resulted in further adaptations, undeterred by the fact that it could not swim." 

Athrun licked his lips. "GOOhN's are currently ZAFT's most reliable underwater battle option. The machines can transform, allowing them to be extremely fast even with ocean pressures and currents. In this situation, it was again, the body of the machine which allowed it to be superior in its particular environment but made it useless in any other type of battle. 

His father wasn't looking at him anymore, but his ever-present shadow weighed heavily behind Athrun's eyes. "Mr. Yamato managed to fight with the Strike by, again, adjusting its movement settings and arming it with a bazooka and the sword striker pack with the beam disengaged." 

The council members looked at one another. 

Tad Elsman's brows lowered, eyes squinting around the room. "The pilot is such a publicity risk, is it really worth it to keep him around just to secure this OS?" 

Athrun's heart clenched. Did Elsman know who Kira was? Had his father finally shared the information? Have I failed? 

Ezalia Joule rose, fist hitting the top of the roundtable. "Now more than ever, we need that data!" she barked. 

There was a murmur of agreement throughout the room. Incredulous looks were cast towards Elsman. 

The Legislative Committee member spoke, thumb resting on his chin. "That OS could very well lead to the next breakthrough in G-Weapons." 

Canaver nodded slowly, leaning back to look at Athrun. "Just imagine the performance we could get out of the Justice and Freedom if we had that OS." 

The bluenette bit back the sharp retort hovering on the edge of his tongue. Weren't the Freedom and Justice already lethal enough? 

Eager voices rose like a wave sweeping the room. 

Athrun pushed back his shoulders. Kira had given him one other piece of information that he needed to deliver; an added detail which could very well make the difference between the council demanding why he had not gotten them the information they asked for and them accepting what he could offer. 

He took a breath. "Regarding the rumors that ORB has developed an OS which can be used by Naturals, Mr. Yamato has now confirmed that he personally wrote the new synthesis system for ORB's G-Project." 

Athrun could smell their confusion and anger bubbling around him. Their faces were each painted with unveiled alarm. What had previously been a room filled with buzzing conversation, fell abruptly silent. 

His father stood tensely, "Athrun, you may leave. We will need to deliberate on how to address this news." 

The bluenette saluted and walked out quickly. It wasn't until he was alone in the hall that he realized he had been holding his breath. 

> _ C.E. 71: June 9th, Alaska, Josh-A, 14:00  _

Mwu was being transferred. 

He had just received his new orders from a video call on the Archangels bridge and had been so enraged by the information that he had needed to flee into the hallway to cool off. 

It was outrageous. 

Headquarters had demanded he be sent to California in order to be an instructor for young recruits. The position was a complete waste of his skills. 

It had also apparently been decided that, along with him, Lieutenant Badgiruel would be transferred to some offshore assignment, not to mention that Allster girl. While Natarle hadn't exactly endeared herself to him, Mwu didn't feel right about leaving Murrue without her assistance. The Lieutenant's dissenting attitude had often been an irritation, but the woman was a skilled tactician. Her plans had helped save them from many dangerous scenarios. The only one who could possibly replace her was Neumann, and he just didn't have the same level of experience. 

The Archangel was being stripped bare, without either himself or the kid to defend them. 

Their debriefing session was still nagging at the back of his mind. Once they had finally reached the Alaska base, the whole meeting had played out as more of a court-martial than anything. Something had changed with the upper echelons of the Earth Alliance. Mwu had overheard several nasty conversations inside the base, which had sounded far too close to Blue Cosmos propaganda for his liking. 

Then there was Admiral Sutherland. The way that guy had spoken of Kira... 

Kira hadn't decided to be a Coordinator. He had been made one by his parents. It was something he had no control over. Sutherland had just lumped the kid in with the boilerplate assumptions he held for all ZAFT soldiers. Of course, Kira could hardly be further from such definitions. The kid was kind-hearted. He had fought to protect the Archangel, to protect his friends and Murrue. He hadn't wanted to fight, and he didn't deserve to be called the enemy. 

And Murrue...All she had done was give him a hopeless smile, which she couldn't get to meet her eyes. He never wanted to see that expression on her face again. 

Last time Mwu had checked, the EA held absolutely no official opinions of Coordinators as a whole. They were only interested in those who might attack the Earth. However, in spite of that, the Admiral had acted as if Kira should have been executed merely for the fact of being a Coordinator. 

What am I not understanding? he asked himself. 

> _ C.E. 71: June 9th, ORB, Athha Residence, 15:00  _

The skies were overcast in the promise of a rain shower. The air was heavy and humid. 

Cagalli sat, slumped over her desk, having finished reading the report in front of her for the third time. 

Weeks ago, she had been given the word that Kira had not come back after a brutal battle. Captain Ramius had listed him as MIA when the Archangel could not find any evidence of his machine. In other words, the crew was forced to consider him most likely dead. Only, because they technically had no body to serve as proof of death, Ramius could only say that Kira had gone missing in action. 

Cagalli had spoken with the Captain almost immediately after she received her first report. The woman's solemn chestnut eyes had looked so defeated as she relayed the events. 

From that point on, the lioness had demanded regular updates on any intelligence concerning the Strike's pilot. Little good it had done. All the statements ever told her was they still knew nothing of the pilot's status. Kisaka had delivered the most recent documents to her personally the night before. Like Ramius, he had begun to look rather weary as well. The weather-worn skin around his eyes had always made him look older, but when accompanied by a distinct lack of sleep, he could easily pass for a man in his forties, despite his actual age of thirty-three. The intense pressures mounted on ORB from the PLANTs had affected them all. 

What she couldn't understand was the Strike's complete lack of mention in any media. Neither the PLANTs nor any networks on Earth had ever mentioned the machine and what it had done. After one particularly loud outburst over the frustrating lack of information, Cagalli's father had explained that certain losses could not be avowed as losses by the EA. 

There would always be certain images that would not appear in the media because, when it came down to it, the war was a game. The EA had its own ends to bolster. In order to do that, they needed to shore up the nationalism of the people on Earth. How else could they possibly hope to recruit more soldiers to fight and kill for them, if the narrative was not strictly controlled? The media would cover anything that benefitted its military aims and practices. Kira's situation was far too controversial. How could the Alliance possibly reveal to the general public that their greatest asset in the war had been a Coordinator? The same argument held true for why the PLANTs would not be able to mention the pilot as well. If the public were to know that there was a Coordinator willing to fight on behalf of a Natural ship, their party line would be complicated, blurring the boundaries between enemy and ally. 

Uzumi's words rang in Cagalli's mind: their truth, heavy and unpalatable. The princess's relationship with her father had never been simple. He had never been openly affectionate. His focus had always been on teaching her to be the next ruler of ORB, rather than caring for her as the parent she needed. Everyone seemed to trust him implicitly, but it had not been so easy for her. In the past, any discomfort she had undergone in the presence of the one person who was supposed to make her feel loved had always invited defiance in her. She had run away from home, insisting on discovering the truth of things by herself. 

Cracks of thunder sounded outside. The storm had begun. Salty air blew into the room through an open window, rustling some of the papers on her desk. She sank her head into her arms, rubbing her sore eyelids. 

Cagalli couldn't help but feel that she should have stayed on the Archangel. The past weeks had worn a pit of guilt into her stomach. Maybe if she had been there, she could have done something. There would have at least been the possibility to protect Kira with the second Skygrasper. She should never have left him alone. Kira was far too self-sacrificing to be left to his own devices. 

It had been difficult to sleep. Her days shadowing her father had been long, but when she finally dragged herself into bed at night, her mind would return to her friend. The hours of debates over foreign policy and the protective measures ORB should or should not take had apparently not been enough of a distraction. 

Cagalli's brain stayed in a constant state of worry. She prayed to Haumea that ZAFT had merely captured Kira, and he had survived, but even that prospect left her with many concerns for her friend's safety. If he had been made a prisoner of war, would he be tortured? She had heard stories from the Desert Dawn fighters about the fragile temperament of ZAFT soldiers. Ahmed had told her about comrades who had been captured and beaten until they would reveal the coordinates for their settlements and weapons provisions. 

It was a brutal image. One which didn't fit that well with either of the ZAFT soldiers she had actually met. 

The Desert Tiger was a character, and while he was certainly hardened to the horrors of battle, Cagalli couldn't quite picture him ordering anyone to be tortured. Perhaps, it had been the way he had regarded her; speaking to her as a person, and not the face of the enemy. 

It had been the same with Athrun; that guy had been far too lax in how he had treated her, to the point where it had been verging on foolish. His behavior on the island had given her an opening to kill him. Despite the fact that he was far stronger than she could ever hope to be, that idiot had actually fallen asleep while he was supposed to be standing guard over his machine. Even after she had nearly shot him, Athrun still hadn't hurt her; he had just let her go. Cagalli couldn't imagine that anyone like him could torture someone, but after learning about his friendship with Kira, she couldn't completely convince herself of what he was or wasn't capable of anymore. 

Athrun's Gundam, the Aegis, was one of the machines involved in the battle which had taken Kira down. Cagalli wasn't sure if that knowledge should be comforting, but she refused to give up hope. Something told her that Kira was alive. Somehow, she just knew; she could feel it. That belief had helped her get through all of the recent days filled with uncertainty. 

> _ C.E. 71: June 9th, Aprilius One, Soldier's Quarters, 15:00  _

Entering his quarters in a bleak mood, Athrun rubbed his forehead. 

"It's nice to see you again Athrun," a dulcet voice rang. 

The bluenette's head swiveled up, completely taken aback by the appearance of his fiance, the pink-haired princess herself, in his quarters of all places. She was sitting at his desk holding Mr. Pink up to her face as if they had been in the middle of a conversation. 

"Lacus?" his voice bore all the shock he was feeling. 

She tilted her head and smiled at him, for all the world looking like the perfect image of innocence. The pearly white skin of her cheeks glowed, almost Madonna-like. 

Athrun was not buying the performance. He had known this cunning young woman for years, and though her appearance and behavior often lead people to let their guards down around her, she nearly always had some tactic in mind. Not to say that Lacus could be considered untrustworthy. As was commonly believed of the princess, she was extremely pure of heart, but her particularly furtive methods of getting what she wanted always made him feel a bit cagey. 

He glanced around his room. "U-uh, I hope you don't mind me asking, but what are you doing here?" 

They came from the same world. A place filled with PLANT's political elite and no shortage of grand libraries, elaborate courtyards, or exposition halls. Lacus knew what it meant to grow up inside of an estate, rather than a home, and to have your life mapped out for you before you had decided on your favorite color. They shared something: a certain history he couldn't trace with anyone else. But there had always been distance. 

Lacus' lips pressed together. Her periwinkle eyes looked at him, appearing almost hurt by his question. "Well, after all, Athrun, it has been some time since you paid a visit to the house." 

"Oh, I apologize," he recited like he was reading lines for a play; the endless rehearsal for what would be their polite matrimony. 

She smiled. "That's quite alright. I know that your military duties keep you busy, and it must be rather difficult for you to get leave, but with the recent news of your promotion, I thought I would come to see you!" Lacus announced merrily. 

"Uh, thank you. That was very kind." Athrun was at a loss; their conversations always went this way. Before their parents had betrothed them, Athrun remembered their talks moving a little smoother. The pressure to fulfill the role set for them by others had destroyed what little comfort they had previously shared. He always felt like he was walking on eggshells around her, unsure of what the correct path might be. She was so difficult to read. For someone that excelled at measuring the temperaments of those around him, that was really saying something. 

She tilted her head. "And how is Mr. Yamato doing?" 

Is that what she's here about? 

Athrun spoke to the ground. "He is being held in a high-security prison near here. I haven't been able to see him in a few days." The bluenette held nothing back; there was no reason to. He knew Lacus held a positive opinion of Kira, and right now, they could use all the allies they could get. There were not many in the PLANTs who would still think of Kira with kind thoughts. 

She steepled her fingers. "And the two of you have been friends for a long time. Since you were kids?" Her voice stayed pleasant as if they weren't speaking about a prisoner of war being threatened with execution for treason. 

He sank down onto his bed, fingers gripping the blankets. "Yes, that's right." The afternoon light had cast a broken shadow on the desk Lacus was sitting at. Athrun watched the dusky marks change shape, twisting, and fading off. "From when we were about five years old. We were living on the moon during those years," the bluenette explained, his voice growing dark. 

Lacus's thin pink brows furrowed. "How was it that you two became separated?" 

Athrun looked down at his lap. "When there were signs that the war might break out, my father summoned me back to the PLANTs. Honestly, I was under the impression that he would be joining us later." Familiar twinges of pain filled his chest. 

She leaned in towards him. "Instead, you met again at Heliopolis?" 

His emerald peered into her cryptic periwinkle eyes. He observed her, uncertain about what she was trying to learn. 

"Yes," he muttered. 

Her lips pulled back into a slight smile. 

Athrun carried on. "At the time, I had no idea what he was doing there; but Kira told me recently, that he had been working as a student in the area. When the bombs started going off, he wasn't able to find a shelter." 

Her brows rose. "So how did you come across him?" 

"I saw him when I was trying to take down an Earth Forces officer. He just jumped in front of her." Athrun raked his fingers through his midnight locks. Relaying his memories from that day was bringing a lot of unpleasant feelings back up. "Apparently, the officer had called him over because there was nowhere else for him to go. She had been trying to save his life, so he returned the favor and saved her life once he got into the Strike. I suppose that's how it went anyway." He sighed. 

"Yes, that does sound like him, doesn't it?" Lacus agreed with his re-telling. The princess brushed her fingers along her chin, mouth bowing into a soft smile. "Hm, I am quite fond of him," she confessed, as though there was no reason at all to worry about those feelings, not her betrothal to Athrun, nor Kira's status at the moment. 

The absurdly out-of-place nonchalance in her demeanor nearly made Athrun laugh out loud. 

"As am I," he admitted without thinking much about what she might pick up on in his words, but oh did she. 

Lacus paused, watching with unmistakable interest as his face shifted from an affectionate expression to a self-conscious scrunch of brows and slant of mouth. He felt as if her clever periwinkle eyes were slowly undressing him, laying bare everything he wasn't ready to share with her. 

Athrun wondered if she had directed their whole conversation towards this moment; the entire thing, a ploy for her to uncover the true depth of his feelings for the brunette. Privately, he questioned just when she had started suspecting they were anything more than friends. 

Her eyes flicked from his face to the desktop, pink lashes obscuring whatever her thoughts might be. "Am I safe in assuming Athrun, that you've heard of Operation Spitbreak?" 

He was startled at the abrupt change in topic, knowing he had not misjudged her interest in Kira. "Yes, it is a full out assault targeted at Panama," he stated evenly, unsure of what she was trying to do. 

Lacus batted her eyelashes up at him. "Actually, as recent news has uncovered, Chairman Zala was secretly planning the assault to hit Alaska." She gave him a weighty glance before continuing. "Nearly all the ships on Earth have been stationed in Panama. Consequently, the base in Alaska will be unable to properly defend itself. The Chairman is planning to use Alaska's weakness to wipe the Earth Alliance out in one fell swoop." 

The bluenette's breath caught in his throat. "But, that's..." The horror of the plan washed over him. "My father's plan." Athrun fisted his hands. "It's inhuman." It seemed like nothing would stop the man's hunger for revenge. 

"Yes," Lacus nodded. "There will be significant losses," she asserted with an icy edge to her voice. 

Athrun thought of Kira, their first conversation in the prison cell, and how terrified the other had been. Pulse quickening, he remembered Kira accusing him of causing the death of all his friends and how he... "Kira!" the bluenette gasped before he could stop himself. 

"The Archangel is in Alaska," he stated as if to explain himself to the princess who had barely quirked an eyebrow at his outburst. "I promised him that they would be okay because Alaska would be safe." He was distressed; for some reason, Athrun felt as if he was trying to convince her of something, though, he didn't know what. 

"So," Lacus announced while standing up, calm as ever, and seemingly having obtained the information she had required. Mouth firm, she outstretched a pale hand for Athrun. "Shall we go rescue your Kira, then?" 

"L-lacus!" Athrun stuttered, but he wasn't exactly sure what he even admonishing the princess for. Was it her brazen suggestion that Athrun and Kira were more than friends, not that he could exactly deny it, or was it more her implication that they should break into a high-security prison and kidnap a prisoner of war? 

His mind raced with the possibilities. 

Even if they could get Kira out, the whole of the PLANTs would be after them within hours. Nowhere would be safe for long. He had already thought through the scenarios, if there had been one available, Athrun would have grabbed Kira and disappeared. 

"Tell me Athrun Zala, do you trust me?" 

Glimpsing those steady blue eyes, he already knew what he would do. 

There was no way he was going back on his promise to Kira. Lacus was offering Athrun an opportunity to get Kira out of that prison, where he would most likely meet his end. Really, this was the best chance he had. If there was even a slight possibility of getting Kira out safely, than Athrun would gamble anything, be it his fortune or name. If he had to, the bluenette would move the skies. 

Athrun took her hand, gripping it firmly, silently praying that they would make it through. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, Lacus is one of the smartest women I've ever come across in anime. I actually ship her with basically everyone cause I love reading about her so much.


	6. Crossroads of Freedom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The great escape :p

> _ C.E. 71: June 8th, Alaska, Josh-A, 15:00 _

Mwu stood at the gate for his shuttle, hands clenched.

The time had come for him to depart to Florida to begin his new assignment. There was a line of soldiers standing with him, waiting to board the shuttle when it arrived. The Commander had a small bag slung over his shoulder containing all his essential possessions. Cleaning out his cabin on the Archangel he had felt as one might have while nailing an eviction notice into the door of their own home.

Mwu La Flaga had always been a man who trusted his gut. It had gotten him out of countless sticky situations in the past, and something just didn't feel right. He couldn't explain it but getting on that shuttle now, he knew it would be a mistake. 

He could hear the engine of the shuttle pulling into the other side of the gate. The soldiers in line beside him began to shuffle, readying themselves to board the flight. 

Mwu's heart sped. 

He couldn't do it.

He stepped out of line, backing away wearily.

_ I'm an idiot, aren't I? _ For some reason, he never seemed to be able to do things the easy way.

The blonde Commander sighed and turned away, heading back to find where the Archangel had been sent. He wanted to know what was going to happen to the ship, and to Murrue.

One of the other soldiers in the line called out to him, "Hey you, you're going to miss the flight!"

Mwu waved his hand haphazardly, "Ehhh, I forgot something" he drawled out.

The soldier started at his retreating form with disbelief. "What?" they cried.

He ignored them, setting off to get the answers he needed.

> _ C.E. 71: June 8th, Aprilius One, High-Security Prison, 16:00 _

The door slid open and Kira bolted up from where he had been lying down. Athrun walked into the small room, relief pooling throughout his body to finally lay eyes on the other again.

A sharp intake of breath escaped from the brunette's mouth. He scurried off the bed and into the arms of the emerald-eyed boy coming towards him, half dragging him into a kiss. Kira's arms bent around his pale neck like bars of iron, gripping Athrun like a lifeline.

The bluenette received him, not minding the rough treatment in the least, returning the other's heated kiss. The slight protest in his neck under Kira's unyielding hold felt good, the discomfort was evidence that the other was truly there and not a manifestation of Athrun's fantasies. The bluenette let out a sigh of tension that he hadn't realized he had been holding. Kira pulled back a bit, his desperate need having abated somewhat. Athrun noticed his sun-kissed face looked pale, the dark circles under his eyes were more prominent than they had been the last time they had been together. Athrun left frantic kisses over Kira's eyelids, cheeks, and nose, wanting to erase every trace of imprisonment off Kira's face and replace it with the imprint of his love. He folded the boy into his arms and tucked his chocolate-topped head under his chin in a gesture that felt so right and familiar. He inhaled Kira's forever unchanged vanilla scent, so calming and pleasant, it was as if the boy had taken a nap in a pile of freshly washed warm cotton laundry.

Athrun's senses were lost in the other's embrace. Kira spoke, his warm breath tickling past Athrun's neck. Though, the words weren't directed at the bluenette. It was then that he remembered he wasn't alone.

"You're...miss Lacus?"

Athrun's mouth went dry. He knew there was no way his behavior had gone unnoticed by Lacus. She was clearly already aware of his relationship with the brunette, having picked up on the faintest clues, but she had not given him her opinion on the matter. Still, she hadn't exactly denounced their relationship. Lacus had taken the information in stride, even calling Kira his. Athrun knew he would need to speak with her about their engagement at some point.

"Oh my," she chirped with delight. The bluenette could see her watching him with amusement. "Just plain Lacus is fine Kira, okay?" she spoke, and Athrun wasn't sure how she managed to sound so kind, despite her fiance's obvious betrayal of her. For that, he was eternally grateful.

"But," her voice rose like a melody. "I'm so pleased to hear that you remembered my name."

"Of course, how could I forget?" Kira hastened to reply.

The songstress giggled sweetly at him only adding to the pleasant atmosphere in the cell.

"Lacus pulled some strings, the council finally approved another visit," Athrun explained, trying to let Kira know that it had not been his choice to be away for so long.

The violet-eyed boy nodded, nose creasing pensively as his brows pinched together. "Um, well… pardon me but, what exactly are you doing here?" he asked, still, clearly confused by the princess's presence.

Lacus lowered her eyes. "I'm afraid we carry some serious news, Kira." Her voice held a note of warning.

Kira checked Athrun's expression for confirmation, but Athrun only nodded, grim-faced, clenching his jaw. The bluenette knew he should be the one to describe the situation to his love. After all, it was his fault that the Archangel was unprotected, to begin with. "Kira, the Supreme Council thinks that you are too much of a publicity risk." Athrun paused to assess the other's reaction.

The violet-eyed boy was watching him with apprehension clearly etched on his face.

"They haven't said as much yet, but I believe they are planning to execute you."

Kira stared at the ground, "I see."

"There's, more." Athrun swallowed again. "A large-scale military operation is unfolding as we speak. Those of us who knew of it beforehand were certain that it was targeting the mass driver in Panama."

Kira looked at him with a confused expression.

"Apparently," Athrun continued slowly, "this information was actually the result of ZAFT counterintelligence officers purposefully misleading the forces to guard for information leaks."

The brunette paled. "W-why?"

"My father didn't want to risk the name of the real location getting out, but now that nearly the entire Earth Alliance forces have relocated to Panama, it has been exposed that the true target is Alaska."

Kira staggered back from them, eyes glazing over and peering fixedly at something Athrun couldn't see.

"Kira," he said—worry marking every syllable.

The smaller boy raked his fingers through his hair, eyes widened and wet in alarm. His breath had started coming out in short wheezing heaves, clenching his heart in pain he crumpled onto his knees.

"Kira!" He cried reaching for his love and sheathing him protectively in his arms.

"The Archangel," Kira choked out. Every harsh breathy sound felt like daggers in Athrun's own lungs. "I have to go!" He fisted Athrun's chest, pounding on his shoulders.

"Shh..." Athrun calmed him, gathering the brunette in his arms, feeling responsible for his pain. He rubbed comforting circles over the smaller boy's back until the choked cries had steadied and Kira was breathing smoothly. If he had been tracking his father's movements more closely he would have noticed what was going on, he could have done something. Athrun had sworn that he would not allow the Archangel to go down. And Kira had believed him. He had trusted him because of it. And now, this...

"Where were you thinking of going?" Lacus chimed softly, causing two gazes to focus back on her.

Kira closed his eyes, turning inward. His face settled into a firm expression, lashes flitting open, catching Lacus in his violet orbs. "I have to return to Earth."

The princess nodded, brows furrowing. "But, even if you go you can't end the war by yourself."

"I know," Kira sighed, pressing the bridge of his nose. He turned towards Athrun and they shared a look. Kira's eyes searched for his confirmation. Unmistakably filled with a need to see that they were still in agreement.

The bluenette pursed his lips and nodded marginally.

Meeting Lacus' eyes once more, Kira's voice rose again, face relaxed. "But if I just did nothing because I thought it wouldn't help, then nothing would change, and nothing would end."

Lacus smiled. "Will you be fighting against the ZAFT forces again?"

Kira and Athrun shared another look, longer this time. After everything they had been through together, Kira had learned his lesson. War was not as simple as choosing to fight one side or another.

The bluenette tried to reassure him, he should not be so concerned over Athrun's thoughts, they had spoken through the problems ad nauseam. Kira should already know how he felt about every angle. But, before the brunette shook his head 'no', he needed to check with Athrun once again.

She tilted her head. "Then, the Earth Forces?"

Again he shook his head 'no'. Athrun knew such a path was impossible now. Kira had seen many terrible things during his time piloting the Strike, and they had been on both sides of the war. The officers at Artemis, the death of those civilians in the life pod, the desperate fighting of the Desert Dawn guerilla forces, and even his own inevitable murder of Andrew Waltfeld. The memories would haunt him for the rest of his life. However, Kira's actions were his own. They did not belong to some preconceived side. Unlike what ZAFT or the Earth Alliance might claim, all atrocities were actually committed by humans, individuals who made their own choices. The Commander at Artemis had attempted to make him believe otherwise. To reduce his allegiances down to a split between Coordinators and Naturals, assuming no other alternative to be possible. All in pursuit of Kira's power, a pure manipulation. ZAFT was no better, now, viewing Naturals as the enemy.

Kira straightened his shoulders, heeding Lacus' attentive gaze. "I now believe that I have a much better understanding of what we should be fighting against."

The princess smiled at him. "Very well, I understand." His words had seemed to hit exactly the right notes for her.

Athrun watched the exchange. They were the two people whom he had been closest to him throughout his life, each knowing sides to him that no other had been privy to, and yet they had never met. 

They seemed at ease around one another. Kira looked to be more comfortable with the princess's presence than Athrun had ever felt with her. Though, he could understand. These two, they were the same in a lot of ways. Both were exceedingly gentle souls with a tendency towards introspection. Each painstakingly polite, and deeply empathetic. No wonder they had bonded so quickly.

Somehow, beyond any reason, Kira had managed to find the one person who might be able to help them. Lacus was the daughter of the most acclaimed pacifist in the PLANTs. She herself had been extremely active in speaking out against violence, promoting peace talks when no one else dared. The princess understood Kira's desire to protect his friends and didn't maintain expectations for anyone based on their race alone. The winds of fate had brought Kira to her, someone he trusted, who had been there for Kira when he could not.

From behind her back, where Kira had assumed Lacus had simply been folding her hands elegantly she manifested a red ZAFT uniform. Ushering it towards him she said, "Please put this on Kira?"

"W-what?"

"Go ahead, don't worry," Athrun reassured his love.

Shadows fell over Kira's already-wet eyes. "Is this... alright with you Athrun?"

The insecurity hidden in that question made Athrun's heartache. Yes, it was true that if a soldier was caught helping Kira escape, the punishments would be severe. So, of course, Athrun himself would lose all the acclaim his lifetime of hard work had earned him and would be marked a traitor. However, given the muddy state of the world, and the issue of Kira's safety, there should be no uncertainty as to what Athrun would choose. Yet, Kira worried a lip between his teeth, seemingly waiting for bad news.

"Yes," Athrun guaranteed, confidence striking finality into his tone. "I'm going with you, Kira. We'll do this together, remember?"

Registering the depth of Athrun's words, the doubt faded from Kira's face. He blinked the newfound dampness in his eyes away, "Alright then, together," he husked.

Athrun tried to swallow the emotional lump that had formed in his throat. The corners of his mouth wobbled as he pulled Kira back into his arms. He kissed his cheek, nuzzling the other's nose. "Everything will be alright. I gathered everything we might need into an account. We should be able to access it no matter where we are."

Kira let out a strained chuckle, broken under the force of his cries. "Only Athrun could worry about such practical things at a time like this," he smiled into the other's emerald eyes through his own tears.

Then the princess was already turning around, allowing Kira to have some privacy to change. Kira glanced at Athrun hesitatingly, it took him a moment to realize that Kira was also embarrassed to change in front of him. Raising an eyebrow at his shy behavior, Athrun faithfully closed his eyes.

When Kira announced himself to be finished, Athrun turned around to see the smaller boy uncomfortable straightening his red uniform over his body. The sight of the amethyst eyed boy in crimson was staggering. The color brought out the warm tones in his caramel skin and the reddish

accents in his chocolate tresses. Kira's eyes only added to the whole allure, the darker purple tones had blended well with the ensemble, but the bluer flecks were standing out against the uniform causing a sort of paradoxical magnetism.

"Oh, my! Kira that suits you much better," Lacus sang.

The princess eyed him expectantly. "Athrun, would you be so kind as to show Kira how one ZAFT soldier might greet another soldier?"

Athrun swallowed thickly. Trying not to be disturbed by the sudden tremor running through his hands, he mustered a conventional salute for Kira to see. The boy nodded at him before replicating it perfectly back at Athrun. The image of Kira appearing so smart and dignified in that uniform, saluting him like a true ZAFT elite sent flutters through his stomach. Athrun's mind was catching up with his heart, catching on that this was the reality. Their plan may work.

This was happening.

> _ C.E. 71: June 8th, Alaska, Josh-A, 16:00 _

Mwu needed some answers about why he was being transferred.

He skated around a corner of the base just as a loud alarm rang off. Emergency lights lit up along the dark hallway, basking the narrow space in a red glow.

Mwu tried to find an officer to explain the situation, but as he swung open door after door, he continued to find that every room he entered was deserted. All the desks were empty and their chairs seemed to have been left behind quickly because they were still spinning slowly.

"Dammit! What the hell is going on here? This place is empty," he shouted in frustration.

This entire situation was far too fishy for Mwu to ignore it. He felt a foreboding feeling creeping in on the edges of his psyche. He tried to bury it down, telling himself not to overreact.

Then, noticing a strange pull at the back of his mind. Mwu wondered aloud, "That feeling! Is Rau Le Creuset here?" What was that man doing near a place like this?

He followed the sensation throughout the dimmed hallways of the base, passing yet more barren rooms. Coming upon one larger space with monitors glowing in the faint light, he could see the form of a pale blond male hunched over a computer. He was thinner than Mwu remembered from the last time he had seen him in person. And there was something more feeble about the way he held himself. The masked figure was entering something into the computer, but whatever it might be was a mystery to the Commander. His pale blond hair looked almost blue next to the monitor's glare.

Mwu cocked his gun, readying himself to fire on Le Creuset, but the Coordinator noticed him first.

Twisting around, the blond shot his own weapon back at Mwu.

The Commander barely managed to dodge in time, throwing himself back into the hallway. Once he had redoubled back into the room with the monitors Le Creuset was gone. He must have found another exit.

Mwu considered chasing after Le Creuset, but ultimately decided he would be better off finding the Archangel first. After all, who knew what kinds of reinforcements the Coordinator would have lined up.

He looked around the dark room, blue eyes scanning over the rows of desks and stacks of papers; all of which had been abandoned. Several monitors were on, glowing with their blue light. Mwu noticed something strange on the screens of the computers. Taking a closer look, his heart stopped.

Would they really...

Terror slithered through his veins. He needed to get to the Archangel now!

> _ C.E. 71: June 8th, Aprilius One, ZAFT Weapons Development Factory, 16:30 _

Kira and Athrun followed behind Lacus as they approached a restricted area. She seemed to know exactly where she was going, moving with confidence through the corridors and smiling congenially at the passing soldiers. Of course, they were all thrilled to see her.

Escaping the prison had been easy. If you could even call it an escape. Athrun had hacked the security system for three floors of the prison and had frozen the camera feed for fifteen minutes while they made their exit. After Kira had dressed in his uniform, they had all simply walked out together, moving briskly. No one had asked any questions.

The bluenette was extremely on edge, anticipating discovery at every turn. His heart lurched with every step and intersection, overly sensitive to each bump they had ridden over in their short car ride. But, the whole thing had gone so smoothly it was rather eerie. Athrun had asked himself if the entire staff was asleep. Because someone should have noticed that one extra visitor walked out of Kira's cell than had walked in.

Lacus had brought them immediately to one of Aprilius One's weapons development factories. Recognizing the location he quickly began to understand her plan. They passed more soldiers as they entered the gravity controlled ground level of the factory. "Good afternoon," she greeted them kindly. Athrun noticed that so far everyone's eyes had been glued to Lacus' radiant form, her pink hair swirling like ribbons in the air. He and Kira must have seemed like background scenery to the soldiers who had never met the pop princess. Athrun doubted they would have even had a shot without her help.

He took a moment to let his eyes scan over Kira. The smaller boy was taking in everything around him, eyes wide and gaping as if he was overcome with fascination at the scale of ZAFT's facilities. The wrinkle in his nose told Athrun that Kira must be trying to resemble something close to calm. Probably in order to avoid alarming any of the passing soldiers. Kira had been like that nearly the entire trip from the prison, eyes peeled out the window to the car, taking in the city.

To an outsider, Aprilius might truly be a sight to behold. It was a city initially built for Astrophysics, but which had become home to the PLANT's leisurely class. The ambitious telescopes built upon the city's erection and the incredible planetary viewing decks had captured the imagination of visiting tourists. Each season thousands had flocked in to stare out at distant galaxies as they glowed and smoldered in the starry night. Frequent stargazing shows were held and membership to the city's scientific community became more and more exclusive as it was sought after.

Like those tourists, Kira was dazzled by Aprilius. Watching him, Athrun felt so proud, his chest swelled with love for the other. The brunette was truly incredible. After everything that had happened to him, Kira was still fighting. He hadn't given up on Athrun, and he hadn't given up on his friends.

"Follow me," Lacus spoke to them as they passed through an even more secure hanger.

A large mechanical gateway was opening for them, leading out to a catwalk supported by handrails. Lacus grabbed the rail stopping her advance and peered up. Kira followed her gaze in bewilderment. Athrun, having already visited this facility once before, already knew what laid beyond that rail. Instead, he watched Kira, awaiting his reaction. And he wasn't disappointed. When the lights flashed on illuminating the two objects before them, Kira's jaw went slack.

"A Gundam!" he proclaimed in disbelief.

"Actually that's not what it's called," Lacus giggled girlishly. "This is the ZGMF-X10A Freedom and I believe Athrun is already familiar with his machine, the ZGMF-X09A Justice." Somehow she managed to fluidly switch between her childish persona to describing the official titles of war machines. "Under orders from Chairman Zala, they designed new machines with the same capabilities as their captured Earth Forces machines, and then added state of the art technology to them."

_ Of course, it had been under his father's orders _ , Athrun thought darkly.

Kira could taste blood in his mouth as he gazed fixedly at the impressive Mobile Suites. For a moment he found himself not in a weapons chamber but in the cockpit of the Strike. The sound of shattering glass followed the recollection of searing pain. These machines, like his Strike, were tools for delivering death.

Athrun saw the change in the eyes. He rested a reassuring hand on Kira's forearm.

The brunette glanced up towards the other boy before looking back at the princess. He fiddled with the cuff on his uniform. "But why are you letting me..." he started.

Lacus lifted her chin, "I feel that these machines have the power that you're going to need," she answered easily.

The two boys shared a private look of assurance.

"You see," she sang. "Neither will alone, nor strength alone will be enough, that's why." She studied them both.

Athrun clasped Kira's hand and together they nodded at her.

Periwinkle eyes sparkled back at them. "Will this take you where you want to go? Will it help you when you get there?"

"Yes," Kira straightened his shoulders. "Because it will take neither will alone nor strength alone..."

he echoed her words back at her.

She could only nod, mouth bending into a soft smile.

Kira studied her. "Who are you really?" he asked suddenly.

Pink eyebrows rose. "I am simply Lacus Clyne, and you are Kira Yamato."

In a way, the response comforted him. As if, he needn't be anyone more than just Kira in order to accomplish what was necessary.

He was unsure for a moment of what he should say, "I'm grateful," he spoke simply with genuine feeling.

> _ C.E. 71: June 8th, Alaska, Josh-A, 17:00 _

The Archangel was engaged in a battle against a throng of ZAFT ships which were quickly overtaking it.

"Valiants one and two were hit," Chandra called from the ship's information center. "Ships damage is surpassing thirty percent." His eyes darted maniacally over his screen, pushing brown curls out of his eyes.

Murrue surveyed the battleground. "Anything new from headquarters?" she implored, squeezing her fist together to steady their slight tremble.

"I can't get through to them," Kuzzy wailed, gripping his headset tightly. "All I'm getting is the same message on every channel. It says all units hold your positions and return fire as the situation calls for."

Neumann twisted his lips. "It's obvious that the chain of command had been cut," he sneered.

"Captain, at this rate, we'll..." he was cut off by a massive explosion. They all screamed as the ship was hit yet again.

Murrue's mind swam. They were being cornered into an impossible position, and she had already run through most of their defensive resources. "Any reinforcements from Panama?" the brunette pressed.

Sai scrunched his nose, sweat beading up under the bridge of his glasses. "I can't see anything yet," he panted.

"We have incoming missiles!" Chandra bellowed from next to the blonde.

Murrue tightened her hold on her chair, fear encroaching on her heart as the missile alerts rang out.

"Incoming aircraft! It looks like it's damaged," Neumann cried.

"Is it going to try for a landing?" Murrue asked, utterly stupefied. Acting fast, she grabbed the manual phone hookup for the comms system. "Deck crew, some nut in an aircraft is gonna try for a landing, take shelter!" she screamed into the speaker.

> _ C.E. 71: June 8th, Alaska, Josh-A, 17:30 _

Pieces of his fighter jet flew off as Mwu crashed onto the Archangel. Quickly unlatching his safety belt, he dashed out of the plane towards the ship's bridge.

"Was that Commander La Flaga?" Murdoch asked aloud.

"Captain!" called Mwu while bursting onto the deck.

"W-what the hell are you doing here Commander," she barked, slamming her fist on the arm to her chair. "What about your transfer?"

"That's not important. We have to get out of here right now!" he pointed out the main window.

Everyone recoiled. Their situation was already so bad. They were not ready to hear anything he had to tell them which could make it any worse.

"This is one screwed up plan. What kind of orders did they give the defense forces?" he demanded, wanting more information.

"W-ha...?" reading her baffled expression Mwu resolved himself to start from the beginning.

"Okay, now listen up." He gripped the arms to her chair, leaning forward to zero-in on her eyes. "There's a large cyclops system underneath headquarters. That thing is powerful enough to blow everything within ten kilometers of the base into a blast furnace. It's impossible to defend the base with what is left, and reinforcements from Panama can't make it in time. Soon the defenders will be gone and the main gate will come down. That's when headquarters will make the decision to activate the Cyclops system and destroy the base, and in the process, they will take out more than half of ZAFT's fighting strength. That's the scenario for this whole battle as imagined by the top brass."

"It can't be," she breathed in disbelief.

"I swear I saw it with my own eyes. The command center is completely empty. The only ones left to fight back are the Eurasian Forces and the Archangel because those bigwigs have given up on her!"

Neumann felt bile curling in his stomach and stifled the need to heave over his keyboard. The ensign's level voice cut through the tense atmosphere. "So they left us here to die?"

There was a hollow silence in the air when Mwu responded. "Only after a desperate battle so the enemy doesn't know it's abandoned."

His words pierced Murrue's heart. She covered her mouth to stop herself from wailing.

"Wh-what kind of strategy is this?" Sai asked horror-struck by the news.

Mir seemed to be the only one who was not hyperventilating. She sat very still, eyes fixed on her monitor. And when she spoke her tone was flat, having rid itself of any evidence of life, "It's because this is a war, and because we're all supposed to be good soldiers. If they tell us to, I guess we're supposed to just throw away our lives." Her words sent chills through her crewmates who knew that in a way she was right. They were being sacrificed.

Sai rubbed his eyes. "Mir..." he exhaled, trying not to believe her.

But Murrue fumed. She knew the girl's words were correct. "If the object of this whole battle was to lure the ZAFT forces closer in, then, in my opinion, this ship has already accomplished its mission. Note that I, Murrue Ramius, Captain of the Archangel, make this decision alone. No other crew member is responsible for these actions!"

"Don't put so much pressure on yourself," Mwu warned, watching her with care.

Murrue ignored him, believing that as a Captain it was her responsibility to do exactly that. "This ship will now abandon the battle area and begin to make its withdrawal. Signal the other ships. Tell them to follow us. Engines full speed to port. We'll break through the left side of the bay!"

"This won't be an easy escape for us. But we can't give up. I'm launching too." If she wouldn't allow him to take on part of the decision-making burden, Mwu could at least assist in their escape.

"But Commander," Murrue started to protest.

"Don't worry about a thing. Have you forgotten? I'm the guy who's famous for making the impossible possible!" Mwu smiled at her with that glint his eyes, repeating his ridiculous catchphrase yet again.

This man's reassuring dependability throughout every nightmare they had endured, had become the backbone of the ship, and if Murrue allowed herself to be honest, he had become far more to her especially. And now... well, he had come back for them. For her...her mind echoed. If they survived this, it would very well be thanks to him.

> _ C.E. 71: June 8th, Aprilius One, ZAFT Weapons Development Factory, 17:00 _

Floating outside the cockpits to their machines Kira hesitated, "Are you sure?" he asked Lacus one last time.

Her angelic face softened into a gentle smile. "I too will be singing the great song of peace."

"Be careful," he advised her. Someone this good should not have to be immersed in war.

"You too Kira." She gave him a light hug, before turning her attention over to his love. "And you Athrun, my strength will be with you." As she said the words she leaned forwards to kiss Athrun on the cheek.

Kira's eyes widened the intimate gesture, flushing lightly as Lacus brushed her lips across his cheek as well.

"And now, you should be on your way," she told them with finality.

Kira resolved himself to block out the part of his mind which flinched at the prospect of returning to the battlefield. He climbed into the cockpit of the Freedom knowing what he needed to do.

> _ C.E. 71: June 8th, Aprilius One, ZAFT Weapons Development Factory, 17:00 _

Kira scanned through the specs of the machine. Quickly adapting its OS to fit his fighting style, he spotted the princess making her retreat in the Gundam's camera. The glowing tint of her ivory flesh disappeared behind closing elevator doors. Good, he thought. She got away safely. As he continued scrolling through the information on the Freedom, he landed on something curious, "N-jammer canceler...amazing," he murmured to himself upon discovery. "It has over four times the power of the Strike!"

Athrun's image blinked onto the communication monitor in the Freedom, "Are you ready Kira?"

"Yes, It's time we left." The boy asserted meeting emerald eyes on the screen before him.

Athrun nodded firmly. "I'll follow your lead." Powering up his machine, he went to flick his communication off, but Kira caught his attention first.

"A-athrun," he croaked.

The bluenette looked up from his work readying the Justice for flight. "Yes, Kira?"

"I love you," the amethyst eyed boy voiced like a promise, articulating the words deliberately.

Athrun stilled, his heart filling. Affection hit him unexpectedly like a wave. "I love you too" he professed airily.

Kira sighed, grateful for the comforting words. He knew no matter what happened, regardless of what kind of storm was laying ahead of them, he would have Athrun to hold onto to keep him steady. "Okay, let's do it!" he announced detaching a cabled still hooked to the Freedom with the entry of a few commands into the Gundam's computer.

"What the- what's going on!" someone called over a loudspeaker in the hanger.

"Copy that," Athrun confirmed, mimicking Kira's actions, and freeing the Justice of all its hook-ups.

"The Justice! It's moving out," another voice blared.

"Let's get out of here Athrun," Kira spoke, voice energized with new confidence. He completed the modifications necessary for the Freedom and powered the machine all the way up.

"Sound all the alarms, notify headquarters, shut it down!" The hangar had surged into chaos around the two machines. Workers were frantically trying to determine just what was going on and to stop the machines from making any more progress towards leaving. The two pilots paid no mind to any of the activity. The foot soldiers just could not be considered a threat.

"Kira," Athrun started in a serious tone. "Whatever we face out there, I swear that I will never abandon you again."

The brunette smiled broadly at him, eyes gleaming, "I know Athrun."

Together they burst out of the compound into the inky darkness of space, with no way of knowing if they would survive, or what laid ahead of them. However, they both knew with absolute certainty that they could not go back. The only option remaining was to continue along this path and to act on that small spark of hope shining brightly in the distance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this!
> 
> #peace and love


	7. Blurring Boundaries in Battle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting the gang all together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go, lovelies. Thank you for waiting.

> _C.E. 71: June 8th, Alaska, Josh-A, Archangel, 18:00_

The Archangel was fighting furiously, but the battle had turned against them. They were vastly outnumbered and it was beyond clear. Each member of the crew had their teeth clenched working as fast as they could. The soldiers on the bridge were attempting to relay all of the Captain's commands for deploying weapons while keeping the ship intact, while the soldiers on the deck scrambled to keep everyone alive.

Blood rushing in her ears, Murrue said a silent prayer in her mind. She could not allow her soldiers to die.

A green Gin materialized at the front of the ship in full view of the bridge, pointing its beam cannon directly at them. The barrel glinted in the sunlight. Every person on the bridge trembled at the realization of their impending deaths. Mir reeled back throwing her arms up over her head, as if that might have protected her from the blast, as if the fire wouldn't melt through her skin like paper, leaving behind only charred bones for her parents to bury.

Murrue glared, teeth barred, as a tremendous rage overcame her. This was her ship, and she wouldn't permit the Gin to destroy it under her watch. She wanted to crush the pilot of that Gin more than she had ever wanted to destroy anything in her life. Glowering at the machine she willed it to erupt.

Just as the shot finally blasted out for them, a burst of light flashed down from the sky, and the Gin's cannon erupted onto itself.

Half a second later, a blue, red, and white Mobile Suit blazed past the Archangel, completely demobilizing the machine. When it stilled, the Gundam had its back to the Archangel.

"This is Kira Yamato, I'll cover you," a smooth voice announced over their private channel. "Meanwhile, _please_ withdraw to safety."

Everyone in the bridge sat stock-still while the unfamiliar Mobile Suit leaped back into the fray, taking care of several threats in the vicinity.

Mir peeked up from her huddled arms. "Kira?" she whispered, face pale.

Sai gaped at the new Gundam, chest heaving. He watched it move on the battlefield, like a dancer surrounded by brutes. "It is Kira!" he realized with a cry.

"Ah-our...Kira?" Murrue wondered aloud, expression still stitched with astonishment.

The flashy Gundam made quick work of several other Gins. Its moves were so fluid, it looked like the machine was an extension of the pilot's own body. Each twist and thrust seemed so completely effortless. The Gundam was slicing through enemies so quickly he left no room for them to fight back. His beam sabers melted through the legs of Gin after Gin, demobilizing the machines without killing the pilots flying them.

"Please stop wasting time, withdraw!" Kira shouted at them.

Murrue shook her head in agreement despite the fact that he could not see her. "Yes, but well-" she sputtered, hardly able to think clearly. Her mind was so overrun with questions and the impossibility of what was happening. And yet, she was forced to act. The lives of her entire crew depended on her ability to cope. "There's a Cyclops beneath headquarters, we're all just bait, they planned this. We had no idea, that's why we can't just withdraw. We have to get further away from the base!" Murrue spat out.

Kira gasped, the sound came across fuzzy over the radio.

The Captain held her breath waiting for him to respond.

In the next instant, a sharp, "I understand" was heard, before the new mobile suit was flying into action. Opening communication to everyone on the battlefield, he began to relay a message. "Attention all ZAFT and Earth Alliance forces, any moment now a cyclops system will activate, and the Alaska base will self-destruct. Both sides, please cease fighting, and withdraw from this area immediately. I repeat, the Cyclops system will activate, and the Alaska base will self-destruct. Both sides, please cease fighting immediately."

Ramius' lips curved into a smile. _Leave it to Kira to try to save everyone_.

The machines scattered across the battlefield only halted in their actions briefly at the announcement, none of the soldiers were sure whether they should trust the information in the message. After only a short respite, they were flying back into action attempting to take down the EA's impressive ship.

> _C.E. 71: June 8th, Alaska, Josh-A, Archangel, 18:00_

Kira wove through the Gin's taking out as many as he could with the Freedom's full burst mode without actually killing any of the pilots. He wanted to ensure that as many soldiers got away as possible. The battle was fruitless. He was aware that nothing would be gained from anymore bloodshed.

A second too late, Kira noticed a blue and white Gundam hurling towards the Freedom's back, ready to strike. The hairs on his neck rose. _The Duel!_ his mind wailed. There was no time to take cover, he would be hit. Preparing himself for the impact, he twisted the Freedom into a thirty-degree angle, trying to lessen the blow as much as possible. It wouldn't be pleasant, but neither would it be fatal. His eyes scrunched closed instinctively.

Kira waited, but nothing happened.

Upon opening them, violet eyes took in the massive red Mobile Suit which had fitted itself between the Freedom and Duel. Kira blinked to make sure he wasn't imagining things, but no, the Justice was stretched out in front of him, still glowing red-hot from the heat it had gathered ripping through the Earth's atmosphere. The Gundam had caught the Duel's beam saber on its hoisted red shield, protecting Kira from its impact.

_Athrun,_ Kira inhaled in relief. Emotions bubbled up inside of him. Athrun had kept him safe. The blue-headed ace had stayed behind to deal with a few distractions which had manifested outside of Aprilius One so Kira could race on ahead. Even still, he made it back in time to shield Kira from a nasty blow.

The pitched sound of a growl over the comms system brought Kira's attention back to the battle. "You can't trick me," Yzak screamed in his cockpit, launched himself at the Justice.

"I told you to stop, do you want to die?" Kira shouted at the Duel, horror creeping up on him watching Athrun dodge the Gundam's strikes. _This pilot is crazy._ He knew the bluenette could defend himself, but watching him get attacked twisted shadows into his gut. "Forget about fighting and get the hell out of here!"

"Stop lying!" Yzak shouted over the comms.

Kira ground his teeth as the Gundam moved to attack again. _We don't have time for this!_

"Kira," Athrun flickered onto his screen, "get back to the Archangel. I'll take care of the Duel."

Dread filled him at the thought of leaving Athrun with this maniac. It was sort of stupid. Athrun could more than handle it. Kira had experienced more than anyone how well the bluenette fought, and he needed to be clearing a path for the Archangels retreat. It was his responsibility to protect them, he had no choice.

Kira's shoulders fell slacken against the back of his seat. "Okay, Athrun," he conceded.

Yzak darted forwards towards the Freedom this time, but the Justice slid in front of his dive, catching Yzak's beam saber on its shield. Athrun distracted the Duel with fire from his Turret machine guns, mounted near the wings of his Gundam. He was hurling his beam boomerang out as Kira used the opening to break away from the two machines and head back towards the Archangel.

> _C.E. 71: June 8th, Alaska, Josh-A, Archangel, 18:10_

Yzak ducked the Duel down low to dodge the fire, but he had not predicted the return of Athrun's boomerang. The weapon expanded into a 'Y' formation as it approached its target's coordinates. The blades flared out in wavering lasers and connected with the back of the Duel's legs. They sliced diagonally through the limbs, cutting them all the way off while simultaneously detaching the Gundam from its Guul. The other Gundam had never really been a match for his new machine. The Justice caught the Duel under its arms so it wouldn't fall to its death. Just as he was doing so another Gundam was coming at him. Athrun swung around, jerking the Duel with him.

_The Blitz, Nicol!_

Athrun managed to chop the Blitz's left leg up to its knee and partly detach its left arm with his beam saber, but Nicol didn't ease off. It worried the bluenette Athrun knew Nicole wasn't going to be able to fight properly while holding the Duel, and he didn't want to risk hurting his comrade in a clumsy battle. What's more, they all needed to be getting out of there soon if they were going to survive.

"Nicol, stop!" he shouted over the comms.

The Blitz ground to a standstill, weapons outstretched but suspended in the air unmoving.

"A-Athrun?" he gasped in disbelief. "What are you..."

"It's me," Athrun confirmed, blinking onto the Blitz's comm screen. "Listen to me Nicol, we need to leave, the Cyclops is going to detonate any moment. We have to go now!"

Brown eyes blew wide. "You mean it's true?" His tremulous voice betrayed his terror.

"Yes, it's true." The bluenette nodded with pursed lips.

"Oh my god!" the younger boy croaked **.**

Athrun pounded his fist into the side of his cockpit. "Nicol!" he roared.

The green-haired boy's breath was coming in shallow and rapid. He squeezed his eyes shut, clenching his hands over the arms of his seat. With another deep inhale, his brandy eyes flew open. "Alright Athrun, let's withdraw from the area."

The Blitz followed as the Justice darted towards the cleared path by the Archangel with the Duel in tow. Athrun's eyes instinctively sought out Kira's Mobile Suit, and something deep in his chest calmed when his gaze connected with the stunning machine in front of the ship, still breaking up any obstacles that lay ahead.

The bluenette raised his Gundam's speeds to up the maximum and flew towards the path Kira had created in a mad dash. The Blitz wasn't moving quickly enough behind him. Energy leaked from the gaping holes where its limbs had once been.

_He's not going to make it!_

Athrun grabbed onto the Blitz's remaining arm, linking it over the Justice's shoulder so that he could drag him along. Shutting down all unnecessary functions in his mobile suit to conserve power, he remapped several energy pathways from weaponry to the engines. The Justice burst forward with new speeds, carrying two half-wrecked Gundams around its shoulders.

Behind them, fire lit the sky, machines combusting like the glow of a thousand fireflies at dusk.

> _C.E. 71: June 8th, Alaskan Wilderness, 19:00_

They had needed to land considerably far out in the Alaskan wilderness, but they were all alright. The Justice looked unscathed, but it had carried the Duel and Blitz along with them. That made things more complicated. The brunette rubbed the bridge of his nose to relieve the tension which had formed there. Kira understood why Athrun had done it; he could no less abandon his teammates than Kira could leave the Archangel crew to die.

_They had made it out._

_They were alive._

_Everyone was alive._

Kira repeated the words in his head, trying to slow his racing heart. He hadn't failed. Everything was going to be okay, just as Athrun had said. The Archangel was intact, and so was his Freedom.

Taking a deep breath, Kira began to disembark from his Gundam, zip-lining down from the Freedom. He walked past the flaming wreckage of war machines and scraps of metal, looking over his old crew as they crowded around his Gundam feeling a strange mix of sadness and relief. "I guess I made it just in time."

Mwu was raking his fingers through his hair, eyes wide. "How the hell did you..." he half gasped, mouth falling slack around his question.

Kira smiled at the man, warmth spreading through him as he watched the familiar antics of his Commander. He noticed his two friends standing amongst the crew, "Sai, Kuzzey!"

The brunette felt a bit uncomfortable with the way they were only stepping forward a bit, so hesitant. "So, you're real? I mean you're not with ZAFT now or anything are you?" Sai asked, eyeing Kira's flight suit anxiously.

Kira chuckled and gave him a reassuring shake of the head 'no'.

Kuzzey's face broke out into a broad smile. He nudged Sai who laughed awkwardly, half choking on a sob. "I'm really glad...you're alive…" he spoke, eyes pooling with tears behind his orange lenses.

"Yeah, thank you, Sai."

Kira heard the hiss of pressure releasing from a cockpit. He was nervous to see how they would react to Athrun once they realized what he was, that is, if they were not immediately alarmed by his ZAFT colors. Kira turned around in time to see Athrun rise out of the popped the hatch, gracefully scaling down the leg of his Gundam on his own line. Nicol and Yzak followed cautiously after him moving out of their respective machines.

The Archangel crew stiffened.

Kira watched Athrun in a slight daze. The boy was completely in his element. He was a truly lethal pilot, and the way he climbed out of the Justice in such quick intentional movements, was impossibly fluid. Kira felt his heart skip a beat at the sight of Athrun, with his blue strands falling in his emerald orbs and flaming red flight suit. He was stunning.

They had faced impossible odds and had overcome them beyond any reasonable predictions. Kira hurried towards Athrun, Feeling so light he could fly, nearly launching himself at the bluenette. Emerald eyes fixed him in an all-encompassing focus. For them, the onlooking crew members became vague figures sketched into the background of a canvas. Unimportant, secondary to the one right in front of him.

Athrun caught him by the elbows, and they knocked their foreheads together. It was an effort to resist the asinine grin spreading across his face. The smooth warmth of Athrun's forehead eased the tension in his muscles, tempting him to press more of himself up against the bluenette.

> _C.E. 71: June 8th, Alaskan Wilderness, 19:00_

Just meters away from the pair, Yzak exchanged a baffled glance with Nicol, neither having ever seen their Commander behave so absent-mindedly... _gentle._ He didn't pull away from the brunette stranger and even went as far as to return his openly tender gestures. One thing was for sure, Athrun had never touched either of them like that. Yzak was positive that most of his physical exchanges with his Commander had involved a fist. Nothing like the apparent affection hanging between those two.

The silver-haired boy balled his hands, growling in frustration. "Athrun, who the hell is this? And why were you fighting alongside the EA?" he cried.

Athrun's beaming expression faded into one marked with clear signs of fatigue. "I haven't been fighting for the EA."

The brandy-eyed boy beside him frowned.

"Do you think we're blind?" Yzak demanded.

Athrun didn't answer him. And Yzak was stopped from pushing further by a blonde man looking to be in his mid-thirties calling out to them from across the clearing.

"What are pilots from the Le-Creuset team doing here?" The question hit Yzak like a slap in the face.

"Tch," Yzak scoffed snobbishly, looking over at Nicol to roll his eyes. "Are all naturals this bright?" They had clearly been involved in the attack on the base.

"You punk!" The man snapped.

An attractive woman stepped in beside him, grabbing hold of the man's shoulder. "How about we start off with introducing ourselves?" she asked amicably, though there were clear markers of mistrust in her eyes. The soldiers surrounding them made that clear.

"Commander?" Nicol asked Athrun dubiously, likely unsure if it was safe to give their names over.

The blonde's face twisted up. "Commander?" he sweated out. "But you're just a kid!"

"Kira, what is going on here?" the woman urged with a thick note of pleading. The situation was bad. They were encircled by the enemy, and there were too many uncertainties to take any action to protect themselves.

The unknown brunette pilot tensed in Athrun's arms as several soldiers from the legged ship closed in around them, pointing their rifles at the gang of unfamiliar, unmistakably Coordinator, soldiers. Arms were grabbing him, yanking both he and Nicol to their knees. Yzak couldn't stop himself from giving his Commander a questioning look when he didn't struggle out of similar holds.

"Did you say, Kira?" Nicol asked with a tight voice.

Yzak glanced at him, confused by his outburst.

Nicol shut his eyes as if he didn't want to believe whatever he was thinking. "It's you, isn't it? You're the pilot of the Strike."

The silver-haired boy next to him froze, eyes flashing with recognition. The Strike's pilot looked so different dressed in that red uniform. He hadn't thought... but why was he here? He was supposed to be in prison, they had captured him. It was over. On an impulse, Yzak looked at Athrun, catching a spark of fear as it raced through his emerald eyes. Athrun must have helped the Strike pilot escape. The son of a bitch was going to get away with everything he had done. For killing Miguel, for giving Yzak his scar... and Athrun had helped him.

"You bastard," he whispered, as a cold rush of understanding washed over him. "You're a fucking traitor." The full weight of the words was heavy on his tongue.

A mad desire to kill the boy with that tauntingly babyish face gathered in his belly, blinding him with rage. Yzak could feel the hot thickness of his blood sing through the cells in his fingers as they curled through the dirt, raking like an animal. He launched himself towards the brunette. Yzak would not allow that pilot's crimes to go unpunished.

Athrun seemed to have anticipated the attack. He yanked himself free from the men holding him down. The silver-haired boy realized a second too late that didn't matter that there had been four Earth Forces soldiers holding him down, or that he was surrounded by another dozen who were armed. But, at that moment, under the threat of assault, his need for revenge was stronger than his need to breathe.

He moved with a fierce kind of beauty, whipping out of his crouched position and throwing punches at his subduers. The men fell in waves, one crashing down rapidly after the other with choking cries.

Athrun sent a flying kick at the side of a meaty-looking deck worker and seized the firearm on his belt as the other man crumbled forward. He slammed into Yzak before his teammate could reach Kira, chest thundering as he grabbed a chunk of silver hair and wrenched the boy's face up, burrowing the oily tip of the gun into his forehead.

"Don't touch him," Athrun snarled, biting down the itch to curl his fingers around his comrade's pale throat and really make him pay for daring to threaten Kira.

"A-Athrun, why," Yzak gasped out, crystal blue orbs widened to the size of saucers.

The bluenette's eyes were burning with rage as he tightened his hold on the silver hair, pulling violently. "Shut up! Don't you understand anything?"

"But he's the enemy!" Yzak contested.

Athrun smashed his fist into Yzak's gut, causing him to choke, body curling from the pain reflexively. In a low menacing voice, Athrun snarled his threat. "He's not the enemy, and if you touch him, I'll kill you." Yzak's chest constricted. The promise of violence in those words was unmistakable. The sight of such cruelty in eyes that had never possessed such menace made him uneasy.

Athrun climbed off of Yzak, keeping his gun trained between his crystal blue eyes as the EA soldiers stepped in. Yzak mused how they didn't dare try to restrain Athrun again, now that they had seen a glimmer of what he was capable of. Several were still nursing bruises from being forced off of him. Now that he was armed, they had no interest in risking their lives.

The bluenette approached the boy now known as Kira, all ferocity dropping away the moment he laid eyes back on the smaller pilot _._ He wrapped his unarmed hand around the anxious boy in an undemanding hug, keeping an eye trained cautiously on all the other soldiers. Kira returned the gesture, tucking himself into Athrun's arms, looking grateful for the gentle comfort of his body.

Yzak couldn't stop himself from staring at the scene. _Who was this person?_

"Athrun was it?" The woman was met with suspicious emerald eyes, but she didn't allow that to stop her. "I think we have all been thrown off balance by the extreme nature of the recent events. If you were willing to clarify some things in a civil conversation, that would be a great help."

The bluenette gave her a curt nod.

> _C.E. 71: June 8th, Alaskan Wilderness, 19:10_

Athrun caught a supportive nod from Kira and responded by threading their fingers together tenderly. Athrun smiled at the blonde, hoping that a little graciousness might buffer any reaction that might come with his introduction. Lifting his hand in a familiar salute he announced, "I am ZAFT special forces FAITH agent Athrun Zala."

Before he could even drop his hand, the blond officer was moving to grab his gun from his belt. "Kid, get away from him!" he shouted.

"Mwu, no!" Kira cried back, trying to move in front of Athrun, but the bluenette firmly pressed him out of the guns range by his forearm.

"He's dangerous," the blonde barked at Kira, signaling soldiers around them to restrain the ZAFT Commander.

Kira growled at the blonde. Reinforcements crowded in to help suppress Athrun who wasn't even fighting. The bluenette was forced to his knees with his arms held tightly behind his back while Kira was pushed out of the circle of soldiers. The smaller boy yanked away from the groping arms, he threw himself against the band of deck armed crewmen separating him from Athrun, knocking weapons out of the arms of men in orange jumpsuits as he went.

The meaty crewman pushed his way through the quickly escalating scene, grabbing a pistol and aimed it at the bluenette's forehead with a finger ready to pull the trigger. "Stop kid!"

Seeing the gun, Kira's breath caught in his throat as his body hardened to an abrupt halt.

"Do you realize who this guy is?" the guy gruffed past a cigarette clenched in his teeth.

Kira's face twisted into a growler. His violet eyes pinched into slits, throwing accusations at the man before he even spoke. "You're the one who doesn't know who he is," he all but growled.

Athrun's heart warmed at Kira's avid defense of him. Truthfully, this was to be expected, and it was all worth it if he could stay by Kira's side. He could have knocked the weapon out of the older man's hands and brawled his way out of his current jam, but he hardly thought that would help to win anyone's trust. So instead, Athrun stayed still and stared down the barrel of the gun, allowing himself to be forced onto all fours and pressed into the dirt. Athrun waited to see what the crew's next move would be. Besides him, the bluenette's teammates were given a similar treatment as assumed threats.

The blonde man whom Kira had called Mwu weighted his gaze over Kira. "He's a Zala, as in Patrick Zala, doesn't that sound familiar to you?" There were gasps from some of the crew who had been watching the scene unfold.

But Mwu's words had no effect on Kira, his face lit up with concern as the bluenette's head was pressed into the dirt, still not fighting back. He needed to make them understand that Athrun was not going to hurt them. "Athrun is not our enemy! Please put down your weapons." His voice came out strangled, anxiety springing over each syllable.

The female officer stepped in. "Yes, put down your weapons everyone, and you too Murdoch," she ordered sternly.

The man... _Murdoch_? gave her a hesitant look, but her glare silenced any objections.

Kira visibly relaxed once the guns were tucked away. It still wasn't completely safe. Murdoch hadn't released Athrun from his hold on the ground, and everyone was still tense.

"You _are_ Patrick Zala's son, right?" Mwu demanded.

"I am," Athrun answered coolly, stripping his voice of any hint of his emotions. Multiple sets of hands stiffened around his shoulders.

"But Athrun has left ZAFT, he is here to help," Kira insisted.

"He what!" Yzak blared, pressed into a hunched position by the soldiers holding him down.

"Is that true Athrun?" Nicol bid from next to the silver-haired boy.

Athrun stayed silent, afraid to tip the balance of the temporary truce.

"For or a soldier to desert his army, it's a much more serious matter than you seem to think. And not only that, imagine if your father was the leader of the nation as well. You can't fight in a war unless you believe in the cause your side is fighting for. Unlike you Kira, he's a regular soldier of the ZAFT military, a FAITH member at that!"

> _C.E. 71: June 8th, Alaska, Archangel, 21:00_

Nicol and Yzak were being led through the hallways of the Archangel, presumably towards the brig. The crew had cuffed their hands behind their back for security, though, honestly, they weren't putting up much of a fight. Nicol at least was still in a daze over what had happened both during and after the Josh-A battle. Several hours prior to their arrival at the base, he and Yzak had both gotten word that Lacus Clyne had committed high treason by helping two enemy spies escape with ZAFT weapons. Neither boy had been sure what to think at that point. It was inconceivable for Miss Lacus, an ambassador for peace, to do such a thing. Even Yzak hadn't been able to quite believe the news, despite the fact that the information came directly from Chairman Zala.

The memory of the battle turned Nicol's stomach. So many people had died. Surely the Alliance were the true culprits in that situation? They hadn't known about the Chairman's plans until the last moments. When he and Yzak were briefed, there hadn't been any mention of Operation Spitbreak. After realizing how vulnerable the Alaskan base would be by the time they attacked, Nicol had questioned the ethics behind the strategy. But then he had learned about the Cyclops system, the Alliance's inhumane ploy whipping out EA soldiers and ZAFT soldiers alike just for the sake of victory. It had been truly horrifying.

Athrun's appearance in that new machine had made everything even more convoluted. Nicol's overly taxed mind raced with questions he had no way of answering. Athrun wasn't being led to the brig, and he had protected the pilot of the Strike from Yzak with a fire that Nicol had never known he was capable of mustering. Did that mean they were enemies now? How could that be? Athrun had saved his life. His Commander had literally dragged him to safety along with the Duel. That wasn't the way one's enemies typically behaved.

Nicol was lead through a sealed door into a room filled with narrow cells. The space was dimly lit, but at the very least it seemed clean. He spotted a familiar boy reclining on a thin mattress in one of the cells.

"Nicol! Is that you?" The blonde's voice was more hesitant than he was used to. Absent of its usual humor, it sounded foreign to Nicol's ears.

"Hi, Dearka," he greeted without any elaboration.

"What's going on? How-"

"We were captured, obviously," was all he offered his teammate. Nicol was let into a cell opposite the blonde's. His cuffs were removed before the door was locked.

Dearka stared at them through the bars of his cell, barely believing they were there. The soldiers unlocked the cell next to Nicol's ushering a scowling Yzak inside. They removed his cuffs as well before quickly clicking the door's lock into place and leaving the room.

The green-haired boy crumpled onto his own cot. His bones were weary, and his heart simply didn't know how to make peace with what he had witnessed.

"Nicol, please..." Dearka's voice too on a rather uncharacteristic seriousness. "Tell me something. What happened?"

Nicol curled up, hugging his limbs closer to his body. "It was Athrun. Yzak and I were assigned to Operation Spitbreak here in Alaska. Athrun, along with the pilot of the Strike, showed up in new Gundams. They were probably stolen from ZAFT."

"That's impossible."

"It's not!" Nicol growled. "Athrun was defending the legged ship, he and the Strike pilot were protecting it."

The blonde's face hardened, affronted by the boy's suggestion. "Be serious, this is Zala we're talking about, that guy isn't capable of desertion. He was practically born to be a soldier."

"Listen Dearka, the Strike's pilot... He's a coordinator too." Nicol looked away, not wanting to see the disillusionment that would soon be painted across the other face. "He and Athrun, they know each other somehow," Nicol whispered in a strained voice.

"W-what?" Dearka faltered.

"The pilot's name is Kira, I think Athrun broke him out of the prison on Aprillius to return him to the legged ship."

"It can't be..."

"Dearka!" Yzak shouted. He had been silent throughout their conversation, but he had lost patience with the blonde's unwillingness to accept Athrun's betrayal. "It's true, okay."

Dearka visibly seized up.

"Yeah," Nicol chimed back in. "He threatened to shoot Yzak if he touched Kira. He actually held a gun to his head."

"And all over that fucking guy," the silver-haired boy sneered.

"He what?" Dearka's tone bore all the surprise he was feeling. "But he's..."

"Look, we don't know either." Yzak folded his arms, crossing his legs waspishly.

Nicol bit his lip. "I think this is more complicated than just Athrun though."

Two sets of eyes leveled him with incredulous stares.

The green-haired boy continued anyway. "ZAFT misled the Alliance to believe that Operation Spitbreak's attack would be in Panama, so by the time we arrived in Alaska, the base was nearly empty. They were no match for us, it was a complete slaughter."

Dearka cringed at the mental picture, grateful to have missed it.

Nicol relayed the facts, trying, and failing, to lock away the emotions arising from recounting the experience. "Then, Kira arrived telling everyone that there was a giant cyclops system under the Alliance base."

The blonde took a sharp intake of breath.

"We didn't believe him, so Yzak and I tried to fight him, but Athrun stopped us. It only took him a few minutes to wreck both of our Gundams badly enough that we couldn't fight." A strange chuckle escaped Nicol's mouth. He thought about how resistant Athrun had been to fight the Strike. His previously bridled performance was certainly undeniable now. "Athrun carried us out of there before the bomb went off."

"So it was real?" Dearka deduced.

The silver-haired boy grunted, following it up with a curt, "yes."

" _Fuck_." Dearka rubbed his eyelids with the pads of his fingers. This was a lot to absorb. He had barely held conversations with anyone for weeks, and suddenly the world was flying apart around him.

Nicol couldn't help the weary sigh that left his mouth. "Most of the ZAFT soldiers there died. I think Kira tried to save a lot of them, but they also hadn't thought he was telling the truth."

The blonde's brow's furrowed, etching deeper creases into his already troubled visage. "But that doesn't make any sense. Why would he try to help anyone from ZAFT?"

"I know," Nicol assented. "I can't figure it out either."

> _C.E. 71: June 8th, Alaska, Archangel, Captains Quarters 21:10_

They were seated stiffly across from one another in the Captain's room, Kira, Athrun, the Lieutenant, and the Captain.

**"** I am the Archangel's Captain Murrue Ramius, from the 8th fleet." She saluted them as was customary.

Giving in to a look from the Captain, Mwu saluted Athrun as well. "I'm Lieutenant Commander Mwu La Flaga, also from the 8th Fleet."

Several things clicked in Athrun's mind at once. He instantly recognized the Commander's name on the list of hundreds he had memorized along with their soldier's accompanying battle data, and now he understood the older man's reaction to his status. Mwu must be twice his age, and yet Athrun had said he held a higher rank.

"Well, I guess you got about a couple million questions to ask us, huh?" Kira asked genially.

Murrue softened, lips pulling into a gracious smile. Kira was back to the way she remembered him. "At least," she agreed.

"And there are a lot of things I would like to ask you about," he mentioned.

Athrun wondered how they felt about their positions in the war after what they had just been through. _Would they feel the same as he and Kira did?_

"So you were with ZAFT?" Mwu pried, pointing to his red uniform.

Kira looked down in surprise. It was just like him to have forgotten he was wearing it. "I was with them, but I haven't become a ZAFT soldier," he stated clearly.

"However..." Kira ignored the distraction and scanned over the crew. "I am not with the Earth Forces now either."

"I see, there are some things that we will have to talk about. First these machines, what should we do about them?" Murrue asked him.

Kira pursed his lips and Athrun tensed in his arms. Here was the moment of truth. Athrun knew Kira had little choice but, to be honest, and just see what would happen. "If you're talking about maintenance and resupplying, there's no need for that now, because these machines are equipped with Neutron Jammer Cancellers."

"Nuclear energy powers these things?" Mwu muttered aloud, thinking to himself. "Where'd you get them from?"

Kira gave the blonde a level glance, "If you start asking about specifics you're not going to get anything from me. We'll have to leave, and even if I had to fight you, I wouldn't let you take it from me."

"But, Kira…" the blonde puffed."This kid..." he murmured in disbelief.

"We were entrusted with them, and we'll take care of them," Kira informed them with a commanding tone. With Athrun's piercing emerald eyes guaranteeing pain to anyone that contradicted the brunette

Murrue watched Kira with a twinkle in her eye. He had grown so much in the short time they had been without him. She dismissed the confounded looks of the crew, and replied, "very well, you have my word that we will leave the machines and the equipment inside them alone." She scanned her soldiers.

"Thank you for understanding." Kira smiled appreciatively.

Athrun listened with a growing respect for the collected woman. This was someone he could work with.

"There is still the topic of you...companion. Mr. Zala, have you received some orders to be in Alaska?" she started.

She asked the question with very little animosity for which Athrun was incredibly grateful.

"Please," the Captain pressed. "Could you explain to us how a FAITH agent such as yourself could wind up here of all places with our Kira?"

Looking over the crew briefly, Athrun spoke up, having noticed one very troublesome detail in Murrue's question. " _Your_ , Kira?"

The challenge in his tone looked to have surprised eyes flashed to him, sharp and assessing.

"Athrun!" Kira admonished him for being uncooperative when he was finally given a decent opportunity to speak.

Relenting under Kira's look of daggers, Athrun turned back to Murrue. "I haven't received any specific orders regarding Alaska." He was talking as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "I am here by my decision alone to protect Kira." As an afterthought, he added, "and to end this war so that neither side can destroy the other."

Mwu raised his eyes brow skeptically. "Oh, really? And you're just going to save us all on your own then?" he asked in a lofty tone, waving an arm theatrically.

Athrun fastened him with a steadily look. "Yes, if I have to," he stated without faltering.

Mwu blanched. "And how the _hell_ do you expect us to trust you?"

Athrun sighed. _Great question._ He didn't exactly have a lot going for him at the moment. "Kira trusts me," he attempted.

"I trust him with my life," the brunette confirmed adamantly.

"But why exactly _does_ Kira trust you?" Mwu demanded.

He exchanged glances with his love. Kira was biting his bottom lip. "It's because I've known Athrun as long as I can remember. I..." The small boy took a deep breath, gathering his courage. "I love him." Athrun couldn't help it, he reached for Kira's hand.

"You..." Mwu began, "what?" he gushed, not being able quite to formulate a sentence.

Athrun cradled Kira's palm in his, grasping it delicately in his hand, and lifted it to place a kiss on his knuckles. He kept his eyes trained on Mwu's, as his lips brushed over Kira's skin lightly.

The blonde's eyes flew open at the action, but the imposing stare from Athrun kept him from having any outbursts.

Stepping in, Murrue cleared her throat. "It sounds to me as though we have the same goals," she announced benevolently. "So for now, Athrun, I welcome you aboard our ship."

Kira's face broke out into a glowing smile. Athrun couldn't help but smile with him.

> _C.E. 71: June 8th, Alaska, Archangel Bridge, 21:00_

Athrun stood quietly next to Kira, letting his eyes sweep over the Archangels bridge.

The smaller boy had given him an Earth Alliance uniform to help endear him to the Archangel's crew. Though, he still felt out of place on a ship filled with EA officers. Kira had been afraid that if he kept prancing around in his ZAFT uniform the crew would be less likely to accept him, so Athrun had gone along with Kira's wishes and donned the blue uniform. His hair and eyes still stood out far too much to pass as a Natural, but it did help him look slightly more like he actually belonged on the ship. Moreover, Kira had been adamant that the crew would not hold his gene status against him. Athrun would apparently, just need to blend in more. He had a hard time believing that fully, but he had acquiesced to the other's desires nonetheless. Anything Athrun could do to make Kira happy was okay in his books.

Violet eyes skipped over Athrun's face, reading his thoughts without any need for words. The rest of the crew might not have noticed the tension in the bluenette's form, but Kira wasn't so easy to fool. When it came to Athrun, there wasn't anyone else who was able to decipher each slight twist of his mouth or crease of his brow with more precision. Kira moved to squeeze the bluenette's hand, silently reminding Athrun that he belonged at his side more than any other place in the universe. When his hand was enfolded into a firm grasp Kira was positive Athrun had received his message.

The brunette turned back to the crew. "What are the Archangel's plans, have you given any thought as to what you might do from this point on?"

"Our plans?" Murrue reiterated unthinkingly. Her top priority had been getting them all out of Josh-A alive. Achieving that in it of itself had been nothing short of a miracle. She hadn't given any consideration at all to what the future might hold.

Neuman crossed his legs in his seat, leaning in towards the Captain. "We haven't been able to re-establish communication due to the N-jammers and magnetic fields." He paused, folding his arms across his chest, glancing warily at Athrun. "Should we make repairs in the fields and head to Panama on our own?" he persisted in a hushed voice.

Kira narrowed his eyes at the officer, not missing the shifty look he had shot Athrun.

"Oh, you think they'll be happy to see us?" Mwu all but scoffed with thinly veiled sarcasm. He sighed wearily. "We know far too much for our own good."

Murrue pursed her lips, resisting the urge to massaging her pulsing temples. "They'll probably say that we disobeyed orders and fled the front lines in the face of the enemy. That we deserted under attack."

"So," Sai sneered. "Even if we were to return we would all be court-martialed."

"It's becoming more and more difficult to understand who or what fighting for," Murrue confessed. She had no clue what their next step should be. She couldn't very well bring her crew back to headquarters, and have them all executed as traitors. Nor did she feel particularly loyal to the EA at the moment, but what was the _right_ thing to do? That was still unclear.

Kira smiled gently, squaring his shoulders. He had believed the Captain would understand the significance of everything that had occurred around them. Her words struck him with confidence that she would come to see things in accord with him and Athrun. "Miss Murrue, what is it you think we should be fighting against to end all of this?"

The question startled her. She could see that something had clearly shifted the youngster's mind while had been away. Murrue wondered how much of it had to do with the bluenette standing beside him.

"Whatever it is, I think it's time we start fighting against it," Kira announced.

Murrue nodded. After all, Kira was doubtlessly right.


	8. Binding Threads of Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, they are alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up, this chapter is one long smut scene. If that's not your thing, you've been warned.

> _C.E. 71: June 8th, Alaska, Archangel, 22:00_

Finally, they were alone.

Kira lead Athrun to his old room. Most of his things had been packed up into a cardboard box sitting next to the bunk. Still, the space felt familiar. Over the eight weeks, he had spent in prison, Kira had come to miss this room. Its yellow-green walls and chunky plastic furniture weren't all that attractive, but they felt like home.

Athrun leaned back heavily against the door as it closed behind him. Exhaling, he let his body deflate against the metallic material. Kira noticed immediately and backtracked towards Athrun. He burrowed into the larger boy's arms, slipping seamlessly in between Athrun's limbs.

"Hey there," Athrun acknowledged him with a soft kiss to the top of his chocolate head. "We made it," he murmured under his breath.

"We made it," Kira whispered back, folding his head onto Athrun's shoulder.

"I can't believe it," Athrun sighed. He ran his fingers along Kira's scalp, gently working tangles out of the soft locks. Unable to pull away, Athrun needed the reminder that his love was right there, just under his fingertips. Kira hummed under his touch, a gentle sound of pleasure close to a purr. He leaned into the bluenette's skillful hands as they massaged away any lingering tension.

Now that the day was done, it was sinking in for Kira that he wouldn't be returned to his cell. Something fell away as he breathed in Athrun's musky scent. Kira's shoulders slumped. The tension in his form slipped away. He listened to the steady thrum of Athrun's heartbeat, pressing his ear up against the other's chest, allowing himself to let go. He was alone with Athrun now; there was no longer any need for strength or leadership. He could put down his defenses. Athrun wouldn't hurt him, nor did he need Kira to be invincible for him.

Kira felt suddenly starved for contact. The memories of days spent entirely alone in a cell were still fresh. Being in his old room helped calm some of his nerves, yet somewhere in the back of his mind, there was still the nagging fear that he would go to sleep and wake up back in that small room.

When Kira looked up at Athrun, his eyes were frantic, searching his face as if trying to memorize it.

Guessing at the source of his loves worried expression, Athrun cooed softly, "It's okay, you're out now." The bluenette brushed his thumbs across Kira's cheekbones in a calming gesture. Watching the fear fade from his love's eyes, Athrun fastened his mouth over Kira's and kissed him slow and sweet, curling their tongues together languidly.

Kira wound his arms around Athrun's neck, draping himself off the other. The larger boy decided he liked the closeness, trailing his fingers from Kira's unruly locks to grip his slim hips. He never wanted to let go, if only he could keep the other curled up around him forever. Kira's scent, his touch, everything was so utterly perfect. Clutching Kira's hips on both sides, he gathering the smaller boy up into his arms and gently wrapped Kira's legs around his waist. The brunette caught on instinctively, locking his legs tightly around Athrun's hips, pressing their bodies together hotly. Athrun reveled in his proximity to Kira. This was where he needed to be.

_Kira, I belong with you._

Breaking apart for air, Athrun stood with Kira completely coiled around him. Noses pressed together, eyes hooded, they observed each other. So close they were breathing each other's air, Kira could see the wet sheen of saliva on Athrun's lip. He could taste the kiss they had just ended. Kira spoke first, hands buried in midnight locks, "Athrun, we're alone now."

"Yeah," the bluenette agreed with a drowsy smile.

Kira kissed the corner of Athrun's mouth and looked down at him through chocolate lashes. "No timer."

Athrun nearly agreed nonchalantly once again, mind still lulled from their embrace. He paused mid-nod catching on to what Kira might be alluding to. _When did Kira become so brazen?_ Athrun brushed one of Kira's spiky bangs out of his eyes, searching the violet depths for affirmation. A slight frown tugged at the corners of his lips. _Is Kira really ready for this?_ He nuzzled Kira's freckled nose, uttering a hushed voice, "Are you sure? I can wait." _I can wait forever if that's what you want._

Kira's nose wrinkled in a way that dragged him back through the years. That same impatient little rumple on the bridge of his nose transported Athrun over miles and miles, through the Earth's atmosphere until he was back on the Moon in their dormitory room telling Kira they needed to study 'just a little longer.' Athrun had seen that face a thousand times, every time Kira heard something he didn't like. He knew the other's every expression by heart. They had never needed many words. As long as Athrun could feel the thrum of Kira's heart beating, the steady rhythm which the tunes of his life were written around, he would be happy.

"Nnnn, I want you," Kira whined in his ear, hot breath drawing shivers down Athrun's spine.

Athrun doubted Kira had any idea how enticing he was like this. His tongue stuck thick in his mouth, barely summoning an illegible, "Mhm." At long last, he was with Kira, for real this time. No one would barge in; no one would force him to leave, they could be together.

Athrun moved his hands from Kira's bangs thumbing circles along his neck. Kira gasped at the sensation. Athrun's quick fingers undid the fastening of Kira's uniform collar, while his other hand pulled the boy in close for another heated kiss. As their tongues clashed, Athrun unbuttoned Kira's blue top down to his waist. Reaching up with his mouth still sealed over Kira's he urged the material off his shoulders. The boy caught on to what he was trying to do, and urged him along, helpfully shrugging his shoulders free of the material.

Athrun moved them towards the bed by the wall, Kira's body still strapped to his, outright refusing to release his lips. Their kisses became more hasty and reckless, teeth slotting as lips slammed together hard. Kira's lips were tingling.

Athrun blindly rummaged for the fabric of Kira's white undershirt. Finally catching it between his fingers, Athrun tugged on it, yanking it up and off of Kira's torso. His skin was soft, softer than his own, much more delicate than Athrun thought the boy's skin could be. It felt like silk under the pads of his fingers.

Flattening their chests together, Athrun's hands fell back down the sides of Kira's figure encircling his waist. Kira moaned at the contact, loving the sensation of Athrun's hands on his bare skin. The front of Athrun's shoes hit the base of the bed, and he stopped, neatly tugging his shoes off one at a time with his toes. Kira whined impatiently into his ear, pulling at Athrun's hair. He held the brunette in his hands as he lowered them down, stretching his lover out gingerly over the bed. The violet-eyed boy kept his legs wrapped around Athrun, insisting upon complete closeness.

As the bluenette shimmied Kira up the bed, creating friction between their growing arousals. They both moaned loudly, with Athrun's weight bearing down more heavily on Kira in their new position, they could not stop the sounds escaping their lips.

Catching his breath, Athrun laid Kira's head delicately into a heap of pillows at the top of the bed. Reading everything he needed to know from the other's violet depths. He saw everything which had been written there with a fire ten times stronger than the one already burning through Athrun's chest. He pecked the sun-kissed nose of the smaller boy and lifted Kira's hands up and over his head to rest in the mound of pillows. Athrun pressed down on his wrists to demonstrate what he wanted, placing Kira just as he had been during their last most intimate time together. "Like this," he instructed.

Athrun leaned back on his knees, causing Kira to release the bluenette's waist and splay his legs out instead. With quick, dexterous movements, Athrun unbuttoned his own uniform top. He fluidly removed it, followed by his undershirt.

Kira flushed deeply at the sight. It took his breath away. Athrun was lean and athletic with the coloring of marble. Their two bodies were not too far apart in overall size, but just looking at Athrun's chest like this, Kira developed a new appreciation for all of the training Athrun had spoken about. His lover was a slender man, but his upper body was visibly firm. The bluenette's arms and shoulders were adorned with firm muscles, all leading down to a hardened abdomen, and those enticingly narrow hips. Kira's eyes were peeled to Athrun's milky white skin and mulberry nipples. The buds were hardened into bright round nubs that made Kira want to nibble on them.

Plucking Kira's shoes off his sock-covered toes, Athrun surveyed his lover's red complexion with a heated look. He could trace the rosy tinge all the way from Kira's chest to his hairline. "Let's get these pants off, little one," Athrun whispered with azure strands falling wildly in his pale face.

Kira felt his heart skip at the suggestive way his lover said the pet name.

Athrun crawled back down his body to get to work on the last of Kira's clothes. He was very slim. Kira had always been healthy, and undoubtedly he had been extremely active during all his time with the Strike, but somehow he had remained very willowy with very little musculature, if only around his arms. Athrun had noticed before and found him exceedingly appealing; his lithe creature.

Kira's eyes had drooped to half-mast, freeing himself into the other's care. Athrun was kissing him the way he wanted to be kissed. Holding him still and showering his body in sensual touches. Each lustful caresses were eating him alive. He was at Athrun's mercy, and God did he like it.

Athrun flattened his palm in the centermost delicate stretch of skin and smoothed it with his hand, brushing it forwards to touch as much of Kira as possible. The brunette arched his back, feeling himself harden, helpless with his arms obediently above his head.

Kneading the hollows above Kira's hips with his thumbs, Athrun buried his nose enthusiastically in Kira's belly button, producing a soft 'eep' from the boy under him. Athrun looked up grinning at Kira, holding his eye contact as he laid a kiss down on his tummy. Kira's mouth parted, exhaling softly, as Athrun continued to leave butterfly kisses over the expanse of bared skin. There was an inviting trail of downy fuzz disappearing into Kira's pants line. Leaving the kisses lower and lower, Athrun began to thumb at the top button of Kira's pants. He freed the metal catch from the buttonhole.

Athrun was not going to rush any second of this. He had wanted to be with Kira practically his entire life; he was sure that he had been fantasizing about his friend far before the other was even thinking of anything remotely sexual. Athrun couldn't even begin to estimate how many times he had finished at the thought of the other's body, his face, or _oh god_ his mouth. Hell, he owed it to himself to take his time and make sure to savor each moment. And he owed it to Kira to make every minute satisfying. His dark gaze ran with pleasure along the planes of Kira's body. Athrun wanted to memorize every inch of him, to carve it into his memory and store for safekeeping.

Kira whined as Athrun dragged his pants zipper down. The bluenette looked up to smile at him, but his face was obstructed by loose strands of midnight blue hair. Athrun tucked some of it behind his ears and gathered Kira's waistband in his fingers. Kira lifted his hips helpfully so that Athrun could shuffle the pants over his plush bottom, and down his shapely calves. A joyful sound vibrated from Kira's throat as he was freed from the damn things.

The desire to feel Athrun's body on his was maddening, but his lover was still half-dressed. Amethyst depths clouded with need. Each brush against bare skin stitched their identities a trace closer.

The bluenette took care to retrace his path up Kira's body from his sock-clad toes, rubbing circles into his ankles, and stroking a line up from Kira's left inner calf to the inside of his knee. Kira shivered at the light sensations, his boxers displaying a plump cock with an obscene wet patch. Athrun continued his climb towards the inside of his thigh. Kira tried to swallow the lump that grew in his throat. The hand slid all the way up to the crease of flesh hidden under Kira's boxers where the slight pudginess of his thigh dipped at the junction of his hips. Athrun pressed his thumb into that tiny indent, feeling triumphant when Kira's body convulsed under his touch.

"A-athrun," Kira choked out.

Athrun kneaded the chubby flesh of Kira's thighs, teasing him. "Yes, Kira?" He wanted to hear his lover ask for it. The smaller boy let out a whiny noise, frustrated at the loss of Athrun's ministrations.

"Mmmnn, please, do that again?"

Athrun loved his fingers back to that little indentation in Kira's inner thigh, caressing it tenderly. "Like this, little one?"

Kira mewled at the contact, lashes growing heavy, and wriggling his hips. "Mmhm." All the sexy sounds he was making were driving Athrun up a wall. Not to mention that his arms were still stretched over his head compliantly, having never moved them from where Athrun had placed them. The thought curled through the bluenette's lust-fogged brain. He wondered what else Kira would do at his request.

Kira was unmistakably impatiently, wriggling under Athrun, plainly _wanting_ so badly it made Athrun's cock jump at the sight. He would need to calm Kira down if things were going to proceed as he wished. _Carefully this time_ , he thought, remembering his last attempt to calm Kira down when his lover had cum practically at his command to _'_ be a good boy.'

Athrun leaned up Kira's body, wanting to taste his mouth, to expunge the distance between them. Athrun glided his chest up against his lover's, needing to be close. Kira tipped his head up to catch the other's kiss. Athrun pressed an insistent tongue into Kira's mouth. He looked so damn kissable, his eyelashes fluttering and chests heaving up and down. Moaning in strings of 'Nnn' sounds, and opening up to his demanding tongue. Athrun nipped at Kira's bottom lip with his teeth. Nibbling the puffy thing tenderly.

"Kira?" he bid.

"Hmm?" Kira murmured, dimly grinding his hips against the others.

"I love you."

Kira's distracted face stilled and eased into a bright smile. "I love you too, Athrun."

Athrun gave him a cheesy grin, feeling wrecked and sappy, but not caring. Lounging across a mostly naked Kira, he traced his mouth with a bubbly feeling in his stomach. He was so stupidly happy.

Kira's lips were smooth; they had a near velvety texture that made Athrun want to drag them over his entire body. He had to stifle the urge, trying to piece together the seams of his mind as they were coming undone. He had to control himself. Athrun could not let himself accidentally hurt Kira just because he wasn't disciplined enough to keep his actions in check.

Athrun sat back on his knees and motioned for Kira to follow him with a curl of his fingers. He needed to get them undressed. The bluenette met his lover with another kiss, and _fuck_ , Kira practically melted in his arms, pressing their bodies together. Athrun swallowed, trying to still the slight tremor in his hands, he guided Kira's hands to his waistband.

Kira's fingers curled hesitantly around the material, brushing pale and heated bare skin.

Athrun encouraged him with a delicate kiss, making sure Kira knew that he wanted him to undress him. The bluenette wanted to see it happen by his direction. Athrun was curious about his power to administer commands to Kira. His lover had responded so well to previous instructions, and it seemed very much as if Kira's had gotten a thrill out of them as well. But, Athrun needed more information.

Kira was trembling. Athrun kissed his face to try and calm him, grasping the boy's chubby cheeks in his hands. It helped. A bit of the tension in Kira's shoulders slid away, and he continued diligently at his task. Biting his lip with focus Kira unbuttoned the top of Athrun's pants, and pulled the zipper down. He stared at the unfastened pants as if unsure what else to do. His brain was too far gone already.

"Take the pants off me Kira," Athrun directed in a firm voice.

Kira looked up at him with wide lost eyes, tugging at the bluenette's heart. Athrun stroked his cheeks, rubbing their foreheads together, nudging Kira affectionately with his nose.

The smaller boy took a shaky breath, willing himself to proceed, drawing the waistband of Athrun's pants down. He flushed a deep red when his hands accidentally spread over the curve of his lover's ass. Kira pulled his hands away quickly, shifting his gaze away from Athrun; who watched him with amusement.

Athrun tilted Kira's face back up to meet his eyes. "You're allowed to touch me if you want to."

Eager to correct Athrun's misjudgment, Kira blurted, "I want to!" But realizing how shameless it sounded, he tried to backtrack. "Uh, I mean…"

Athrun couldn't help but laugh at his earnestness, rewarding Kira with a fervid kiss while he traced patterns into Kira's scalp.

The brunette moaned into his mouth, blindly trying to push down on Athrun's pants as he was overtaken with the heart-stirring kiss. Lips sealed tightly over each other, frantically trying to map the details of each other's mouths with their tongues. In spite of all his difficulties, Kira finally managed to shift Athrun's pants down to his knees. Athrun kindly helped him from there.

Athrun wasn't wearing loose boxers like Kira. He was suited in tight charcoal-colored boxer briefs. Violet eyes were arrested on the bulge in his lover's underwear. Hardness was straining against his charcoal boxer-briefs. Kira's mind clouded. _That's Athrun's…_ He couldn't formulate proper thoughts. The view made his blood rush in his ears. _It's because of me,_ Kira noticed with amazement. _He's this hard for me._

Athrun took hold of his lover's face and rumbled in a husky voice, "Kira, you have to tell me what you want."

"W-what?"

"We don't have to go any further now. I can make you cum for me, but I need to know what you want."

Perhaps he shouldn't have found it so difficult to raise his eyes and look at Athrun. He tried to speak, finding his mouth dry as a desert. When his throat made up its mind to swallow, Kira whispered, "I-I want you inside me."

Athrun was now the one suddenly finding it difficult to breathe. Had Kira just said what he thought he did?

Kira squirmed uncomfortably when he didn't receive a response right away reading that as disapproval. "Is that okay?"

Athrun didn't bother answering. Pulling Kira closer, he smashed their mouths together. Athrun's mind chanting for him to take him. Take him now. Make him his. Burying one hand in Kira's chocolate locks, and letting another grope at Kira's body. Athrun teased his hardened nipples, drawing incredible sounds from his lover. He couldn't take it; he was going to lose his mind. Athrun grasped at the waistband of Kira's boxers, tearing the flimsy things off Kira's hips and gripping his lover's ample little ass in both hands forcing their hips together.

Kira gasped loudly. Trying to do the same with Athrun's shorts, but being too distracted by the bluenette's devouring mouth and forceful handling. His cock was so hard, every rough movement from Athrun, brought it into contact with the bluenette's flexed stomach, quickly whipping Kira into a frenzy. He wanted to cum, oh god he wanted to cum. They hadn't even started, and he wanted to cum. What was wrong with him? He could feel the heat from Athrun's own erection brushing along his hip. Kira wanted to see it. He wanted to feel the bare skin of Athrun's cock under his fingers, but it was taking so hellishly long to get him undressed. He tugged for what seemed like the hundredth time at Athrun's boxer-briefs, managing to pull them over the tops of Athrun's hip bones before they got stuck. Kira whimpered into Athrun's mouth.

Athrun released Kira's butt cheeks with one last squeeze, securing an 'eep' from Kira, and yanked the last shred of clothing from his body.

Kira inhaled shakily, looking fixedly at the swollen cock as Athrun laid Kira out once more, arranging his body across the sheets with parted legs. They pressed up against each other, skin to skin, all over, at last. They had rid each other of everything apart from socks. Kira's heart stuttered at the sultry grin Athrun presented him with as he settled himself between Kira's legs. Those emerald eyes glittered with excitement, and something so sinful Kira wondered if he might cum from the thrill it shot down his spine alone.

Athrun gripped the flesh of Kira's thigh, reaching to catch the head of Kira's cock between his index finger and thumb. Looping his fingers together he dragged them up and down. Kira keened under him, pressing his hips up into Athrun's hand, seeking more contact.

Watching those hips, weighing over what the best way would be to take Kira, Athrun's mind settled on one essential and overlooked detail.

Lube. _Shit_.

There was no way he could enter Kira without it. Athrun refused to. It would hurt Kira far too much to be an acceptable option. Athrun paused in what he was doing, scanning the room for anything that might be remotely close to what he needed. He spotted a door in the corner of the room, presumably a bathroom.

Leaving a reassuring kiss on Kira's nose, and with a hoarse voice Athrun rumbled, "I'll be right back."

"W-what?" Kira sputtered, completely baffled as to where his lover could possibly need to go at that exact moment.

Athrun disappeared into the bathroom, silently praying that he might find something he could use. Rummaging hurriedly through the various cabinets while Kira laid helplessly in the bed, breathing heavily, and skin covered in a light sheen of sweat.

Athrun silently cheered as he discovered a half-empty bottle of baby oil. He thanked whatever god was looking out for them, grabbed it, and rushed back to his lover.

"A-athrun?" Kira questioned, trepidation lacing his voice.

"Shhh...I'm back," he uttered softly. The bluenette crawled onto Kira; knees splayed out on either side of the smaller boy. Athrun coated his fingers with the baby oil and drizzled the slick liquid over Kira's painfully erect cock, gliding his fingers along its surface.

"Mmnnn," Kira moaned, throwing his head back. "Don't stop, _please!_ "

Athrun didn't stop, or rather he really couldn't stop at this point. He liked the feeling of Kira's cock pulsing in his hand far too much, Kira begging for him to touch him. It was so unbelievably hot. He needed to get things moving; this was getting out of hand. They were both so far gone. Athrun grit his teeth trying to hold back just a little longer, clamoring to pour more baby oil over his other hand.

Even amid Kira's pleasure numbed brain, he lurched when he felt Athrun's fingers pressing somewhere they did not belong. "Ah!" He seized up unconsciously.

Athrun steeled himself, clenching his jaw, forcing his body to halt. Taking a shaky breath, he gave Kira a pained smile. "Is it ok? I don't have to."

Kira bit his lip, wiggling his hips a bit, trying to accustom himself to the strange sensation. It wasn't so bad; there was something unexpectedly pleasant about Athrun's finger pressed against his entrance. He wanted to feel Athrun moving within him, to feel him quiver when he came inside. "It's ok. Touch me?"

Athrun obliged him, rubbing circles around Kira's puckered opening, still playing with his cock in the other hand, trying to keep him distracted with pleasure.

"Mmnnn," Kira murmured appreciatively.

Athrun nudged at Kira's entrance, tentatively poking one finger in and curling it up several times, stretching the area out, and going a bit deeper. Then Athrun added a second finger, scissoring it with the first, to help the tight space accommodate to the intrusion.

"How is that?" he asked, twirling his fingers to stroke Kira from the inside.

Kira whined a response. He was so much more sensitive there than he had ever realized.

Athrun chest filled with pride at his accomplishment. His chocolate headed lover was lewdly writhing for him, making so many hot little sounds.

Kira was gasping, staring at Athrun, eyes misty and dazed, voice trembling with tears. "A-athrun, please, please, _please,_ " he begged him.

Athrun could hardly neglect his well-behaved lover in such a fragile state, neither could he bear to postpone his own pleasure any longer.

The bluenette pulled his fingers out of Kira with a 'plop,' and despite Kira's wanton begging, the small boy nearly sobbed at the loss of fullness. Gripping Kira's tanned thighs, Athrun positioned himself at his entrance, pressing the head of his cock up against it.

Kira knocked his hips forwards trying to get more contact, so Athrun had to bear down on his thighs to keep his little one in place. He needed to do this carefully. Fingers were not perfect preparation for what was to come. Athrun pressed in slowly so that his lover could adjust to his size. Kira was so hot inside, it felt like being melted, sending feverish erotic shutters up his body. A shiver ran through his body. Oh god, it was good. It was so fucking good. He wasn't even all the way in yet.

"Ahhh…" Kira moaned as Athrun entered him, throwing his head back, and grabbing for pale soldiers to support him. His body was humming with pleasure. He felt unsteady like he might break apart at any moment.

He was fully sheathed in Kira now, his cock pulsing with a blazing need for movement. The bluenette gathered his self-control, and once he was sure he wouldn't cum right away, he thrust experimentally into Kira. Athrun couldn't stop himself from throwing his head back at the sensation. _Holy shit._

Kira's reaction stole all the air from Athrun's lungs. He was delicious. Kira's pupils had blown impossibly wide, with just a thin ring of violet left to see. His pink mouth hung open, the tip of his tongue bare to Athrun's view.

Athrun thrust forwards again, developing a slow rhythm, as fast as he could handle without cumming right away. He was gripping Kira's hips so tightly he began to worry he might be hurting him vaguely, but Kira made no complaint. Kira was enthusiastically rocking back on his cock, wiggling his hips under his lover's grip. Athrun wanted to kiss him, so he did. He smashed their mouths together in a scorching lip lock, filling his senses completely with his lover. Their tongues were needy and desperate as Kira threw his hips upwards into Athrun. The rest of the universe had faded off into nothingness, Kira was surrounding him, reshaping Athrun's world around him.

Athrun was close, he could feel himself teetering right on the edge of bliss, but he couldn't cum yet. He needed to make sure that Kira fell over the edge before he did. With each shuddering breath he took, he pounded into his lover in a frenzied pace, stroking Kira's swollen erection in time with his thrusts.

Leaning forward into Kira's bright red face, Athrun spoke right into his ear, in a low seductive purr, "be a good boy and cum for me, Kira."

The reaction was instantaneous, Kira's enormous violet eyes froze, pupils shrinking and expanding again in a flash. "Oh, g-god!" Kira shuttered as his whole body seizing up with a force he had never felt before, hot streams of milky fluid hitting both of their chests.

The feeling of Kira's ass tightening around him as he came, sent Athrun over the edge. He just couldn't hang on anymore; mind wholly shot to pieces. He felt a tremble of pleasure sparking up his spine, through his fingertips and toes. It was all too much, too hot, too fucking good. Athrun came hard with a growl, spurting into Kira, filling him with his seed. Some primal part of his brain, loving that he could leave his mark on Kira like this, that Kira was now filled with _him_. He pressed in one last time, pushing his cum deep inside his lover.

Athrun collapsed on top of Kira, kissing him, trying to get as close as possible, scissoring their limbs together.

Kira's eyes were blazed out, and he was breathing unsteadily.

"You 're incredible," Athrun whispered, sprinkling Kira's freckled cheeks in kisses, curling himself protectively around his lover.

It took several moments before Kira could answer, gasping in quick shallow pants between kisses from Athrun. He hummed pleasantly, as Athrun covered them both with a blanket which had been forgotten up until then.

Kissing the top of Kira's head once more, Athrun whispered, "I love you." When he received no response, he realized Kira was already asleep by the soft breathing sounds, coming from his lover's mouth. The Athrun snuggled in tightly and drifted off to sleep as well with a smile gracing his lips.


	9. Re-Fabricating the Enemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after, and catching up with the canon plot

> _C.E. 71: June 8th, Alaska, Archangel, 22:00_

"Go to ORB?" Murrue asked incredulously.

"Yeah," Mwu sighed. "I get the feeling that no one is really in the mood to go back to the military anyway."

The Captain nearly snorted at that. "No surprise, considering that we are more or less guaranteed to face execution." She was exhausted. They all were, maybe ORB wasn't the worst idea?

"The kid's changed, hasn't he?" Mwu wondered aloud.

"He has," Murrue agreed solemnly.

"And that ZAFT guy! I mean what in the world…"

"It may sound strange, but I think I remember him."

Mwu gaped at her. "You do?"

She nodded trying to recall all of the details correctly. "Back at Heliopolis, when I first met Kira, and he piloted the Strike. There was a ZAFT soldier who nearly stabbed me. Kira saw them and jumped in front of me."

Mwu watched her with a puzzled expression. He had heard this story before, so he wasn't sure why she felt the need to recount it.

Murrue hesitated, biting her bottom lip. "I can't be sure because I was distracted by a bullet wound and the soldier was wearing a helmet, but I think Kira spoke to him just before he boarded the Aegis."

"So you're saying Zala could have been fighting us all along?"

Murrue nodded. "Yes, I think it's a possibility."

The blonde collapsed into the chair by her desk burying his head in his hands. "You've got to be kidding me," he grumbled.

Murrue wasn't so sure how much this new information mattered though. She trusted Kira and did not believe that anything the two boys had told them was a lie. "But still, what's clear is that Athrun has no interest in fighting with us any longer. We should accept his help. After all, we could really use someone of his skills."

The Commander looked back up at her, propping his face in his hands. "I know but, this whole situation is just so unbelievable. I mean we suddenly have this star pilot, and all because he and Kira are...together?'"

"I know, life is unpredictable that way."

"But since when has the kid even been interested in other guys?" Mwu pressed. "Wasn't he with that Flay girl?"

Murrue had heard something about Kira and Flay breaking up through Miriallia awhile back. It had happened before Kira had been taken captive, but she didn't know the details. Whatever it was, she was glad for it. That relationship had never looked healthy. "I get the feeling that there is still a lot we don't know about Kira."

"Hm, maybe so." The Commander nodded in agreement.

Murrue's heart had warmed at the sight of the two boys embracing. Her initial assumption had been that the ZAFT Commander held allegiances with the two unfamiliar red coats. Clearly, the situation was more complicated than she had thought. Nor had the crew's knee-jerk reactions helped to cool the scene down. It would be up to her to try and return things to a civilized state. If everything was the way Kira had described, Murrue only hoped Kira could find some happiness. He truly deserved it. That youngster had been through far too much. It was time for him to find some good in the world.

"I just keep thinking about what the kid said...what is it we should be fighting against?" Mwu asked to himself.

"Yes indeed. Those two boys, it seems they have already figured out that very difficult question."

> _C.E. 71: June 9th, Alaska, Archangel, 06:00_

Kira was so warm. His entire body felt like it was entwined like a silkworm in a heated cocoon. Like nothing bad could reach him in his snug perfect space. Something firm moved against his shoulder and tightened its hold around his waist, enveloping Kira in its toastiness.

The brunette fluttered his lashes open. He was in his room on the Archangel. That much was evident right away... _but how_?

Closing his eyes again, he allowed the memories to wash over him. So much had happened that recalling it now in the familiarity of his old bunk left him with the strange feeling of being detached from it all. Had he broken out of a ZAFT prison? That didn't sound like him. It all felt too distant now, as though it had happened to someone else.

The form pressing against him shuffled once more, trying to get closer. Blue hair tickled Kira's nose, and a head buried itself in his shoulder. _Athrun,_ the brunette instantly identified. They had made it out together. And his feeling of a heated sanctuary with the boy wrapped around him, there was nothing distant about it.

Athrun was with him.

They wouldn't have to fight anymore. Kira had finally awoken from the long night that had stretched on forever. After everything they had been through, it dawned on him that it was over. Athrun would stay by him because he loved him.

Kira could feel a goofy smile stretching over his face. The compulsion to nuzzle Athrun's head overwhelming him. Kira nudged the azure bangs out of his lover's face with his nose, kissing his forehead reverently.

The bluenette's brows twitched at the touch, eyes flitting open seconds later. Athrun leaned up a bit, glancing around the room carefully, his eyes landed on the sleep tousled, and very naked, violet-eyed boy beneath him.

Kira shifted under his gaze, tugging the blanket to cover him up a bit more. Athrun noticed his shy behavior; a loving smile pulled at the corner of his lips. He moved to cover Kira's body with his own, burrowing his nose in the smaller boy's neck.

"Good morning sleepy head."

Kira shivered at the gravelly sound of Athrun's sleep-roughened voice. He was half leaning, half falling against Kira, but the smaller boy didn't mind. He liked the feeling of Athrun laying on him, his reassuring weight pressing Kira into the bed, reminding him that he was solid.

Ever since they were little, there had been times when Kira had felt overwhelmed by the instability of the world. Being surrounded by Athrun's embrace had always helped. As if, at the moment when Kira felt himself being folded into those arms, no matter what he was feeling inside, it was always small enough for Athrun to contain inside his hold. It may seem like a strange thought, but it had always brought Kira comfort. He had shared it with Athrun once, and afterward, his friend had never hesitated to hold him again.

Athrun lavished buttery soft kisses across his face as a warm, cloudy feeling settled in Kira's chest. His azure haired lover seemed to be still half asleep, lazily glancing his fingers down Kira's neck and collarbone.

The teasing feather-light sensations made Kira's breath hitch in his throat. Heat pooling in his belly. Kira moaned. He reached up to lock his arms around Athrun's neck, demanding more attention, pulling his lover into a kiss. That silky mouth was brushing over his.

Athrun's eyes widened at Kira's uncharacteristic forcefulness. The bluenette flicked his tongue along Kira's teeth. Pulling away, he brushed his fingertips across Kira's cheekbones, devotion seeping into the edges of his smile. He couldn't get enough of seeing Kira like this, laid bare before him. Athrun had just been enjoying the tranquil sensation of Kira's skin; softened and wrapped in a downy blanket beneath him. He hadn't meant to tease his little one. Shifting the covers around Kira's caramel shoulders, he tucked in closer, so their bodies were flush together.

Kira shivered at the sensation of his lover's warmth spread out over him, unable to look away from Athrun's sleep-dusky eyes as his pale hand glided down his body, leaving pricking goosebumps in their wake. He hummed into the other's mouth.

Athrun pressed himself against Kira, his tongue meeting his lover's, slowly parted his lips.

Emerald orbs were trained intently on violet as fingertips skimmed along the smaller boy's sensitive thighs. Athrun relished the way they trembled under his touch.

Kira's face flushed warm with wanting.

Athrun skipped his lips along the tanned column of Kira's throat; he paused to suck intently at the line of his collarbone, drawing a bruise from the supple flesh and leaving a satisfying mark before continuing. He buried his nose in the juncture of Kira's neck, inhaling the intoxicating sweet scent, tonguing lightly on his pulse. Athrun felt the pants of air jolt under his lips as Kira gasped.

"Athrun," he whispered.

"Mmhmm?" the bluenette purred against his lover's throat, tenderly nipping and lapping at the skin.

"Please... I need to-it's all too much.."

"What's too much little one? What do you need?" Athrun was finding that he liked to hear his lover ask for attention. Something about it sent a little thrill through him.

Kira let out a strangled whine-like sound. "I-I want to cum. Will you... make me cum?"

Athrun looked down at Kira's rosy face, groggy from lust. How could he possibly deny such an appealing request? He slid his palm between their bodies, sealing his mouth over Kira's once more as he wrapped his hand around over his lover's arousal. Pressing his thumb to the tip, and smearing the small bead of pre-cum that had formed over the head. He started a firm and hurried pace.

Moaning into Athrun's mouth, Kira's strained body wilted softly in relief, allowing himself to be touched. He could feel the hot weight of his midnight headed lover's cock rubbing his thigh. Unlatching his arms from Athrun's pale neck, Kira reached for the other's neglected erection. Wrapping his shaking hand around the glowing head while Athrun groaned appreciatively into their kiss. The bluenette's hips jerked at the contact, encouraging Kira to feel him more, thumbing along his tip firmly.

Athrun breathed into his collarbone, body going lax under his lover's ministrations. Kira took it as an encouragement to make more daring movements, gripping Athrun's cock firmly in his hand, stroking him from top to bottom. Athrun panted into his neck, hips twitching forward. He willed himself to focus, digging his teeth lightly into Kira's shoulder, trying his best to match the brunette's frantic pace.

Kira's head tipped back, all self-consciousness was forgotten. He moaned loudly, "Ahhh..." An incomprehensible string of sounds burst from Kira's lips, but Athrun was beyond thinking anyway. All he knew was that Kira was more fucking beautiful than he had ever imagined. Right on the brink, completely wrecked and desperate to cum. Kira fell apart just for him; because of him.

Athrun moved his hand over Kira as quickly as he could, crowning his head with tight fingers. He strained against the Kira, pressing closer, wanting, _burning_ from the fire set between them. His emerald eyes were glowing, bright with emotion, seeing only Kira. _His_ perfect Kira.

Then he didn't see anything. Overwrought by sensations, Athrun couldn't even register the guttural cry that had broken past his lips. Blinded by a wall of pleasure that hit him so hard he was shaking. And, as if connected by an unseen string, Kira was answering him back with a cry of his own, seizing as he hit his climax. Kira breathed heavily against Athrun, and they painted each other in cum.

Athrun caught himself before his limbs buckled under the weight of his body. He didn't want to crush Kira. He rested his forehead over the others, feeling its burning heat. Athrun stared into violet orbs obscured by full dark pupils, mind still fog-laced. Had that just happened? Was he still asleep? The goosebumps over his lover's skin and the palpitations of his own heart told him it was real.

Kira's smile was lazy and drunk. He nuzzled into Athrun's cheek, earning a drowsy sigh from his lover's lips.

Athrun inhaled deeply, filling his lungs with the scent of Kira and sex. The real world was seeping back into view. There were matters to handle, things that needed to be done. Their dream-like respite was coming to an end. "You better go on and shower alone. I'll go after you," Athrun murmured, kissing Kira's shoulder where he had left a bite mark.

"Wha-no. Athrun…" Chocolate lashes blinked in alarm.

The bluenette's heart warmed at Kira's attempts to stay close. "I know, but if I go in there with you, we'll never make it out of this room."

Kira flushed brightly. "Oh... sorry."

The other chuckled at his lover's guilty behavior. "Why are _you_ apologizing? I'm the one who should have more control, okay?"

Kira swallowed thickly, nodding his head.

"Good boy," Athrun rewarded, kissing a chubby cheek, helping his lover to get up.

Kira scuffed the toes of his socks along the floor while making his way towards the shower. He turned back hesitantly to glance at Athrun who smiled encouragingly for him to keep going.

> _C.E. 71: June 9th, ORB, Archangel, 08:00_

The Archangel crawled into ORB's port. Cagalli was running. She wanted to see Kira.

A few hours ago, she had been updated with some extremely welcome news. Kira had been found, or rather he had found the Archangel. Kira had come to the ship's rescue admits a terrible situation in which she still didn't understand all of the details. ORB had received broken intelligence reports in regards to Operation Spitbreak and the Earth Forces response, but nothing was confirmed. Cagalli and her father would need to meet with Captain Ramius and Commander La Flaga to get a clear account of what had happened.

Reaching the entrance to the Archangel, Cagalli went to press in the door code, but the gate slid open. A boy's body was rushed out in a stretcher. Her heart stopped. _Is that Kira? Is he hurt?_ But it wasn't. She didn't know the soldier. Moving into the ship, she scoured the familiar halls for her friend. _Where is he?_ She spotted a mop of brown hair slipping around a corner across the hallway. She darted towards him, twisting her body around the corner after him.

"Kira!" she cried, launching herself at the brunette.

The boy turned. "Cagalli!" he gasped as she toppled him onto the ground, back hitting the floor with a smack, and losing all the breath in his lungs.

She pounded his chest with her fists. "You are such an idiot!"

Kira grimaced, wrinkling his nose at the harsh treatment.

"You're just; you're so..."

He smiled apologetically at her, unsure of what to say.

Cagalli was shouting. "I never thought I'd see you again! How could you do that to me?" Tears streamed down her face, and her shoulders were shaking with fresh tears. Cagalli had been so afraid that she had lost him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

She looked at him with doubt despite hearing the complete authenticity in his words. "So you're...really alive?" For so long already she had been trying to reconcile herself to never seeing him again, without truly knowing if he was dead.

"Yeah I'm alive, and I did come back," Kira reassured, rubbing her back in soothing circles.

"Oh, Kira!" Cagalli buried her face in his uniform shirt, crying into the cotton fabric. She was so relieved. Kira's alive; he _'s alive, h_ _e's alive,_ her mind chanted.

Cagalli heard a chuckle off to the side and looked up. There was another EA soldier leaning against the corridor wall by watching them, or she thought they were at first, but… his features were all wrong. "It's you!" she exclaimed, pointing an accusatory finger at him.

"Hello, Cagalli," Athrun drawled smoothly.

"W-what are you doing here, and why are you dressed like that!" she shouted at him, gesturing wildly at his uniform.

"What, you're not happy to see me?" he teased. Athrun didn't know Cagalli very well, but from the very first moment he had met her, he had felt comfortable with her. She just seemed so familiar. Something about her reminded him so much of Kira. Their demeanors weren't the same, Cagalli was far too fiery to compare with his mellow lover's personality, but the way they thought was very much alike.

There was something else as well. With them laying on top of one another, both peering back at him with big glossy eyes, their faces making identical expressions, Athrun realized how strikingly similar their features were. Sure, their hair and eye colors were different, but beneath that, was a deeper, more underlying resemblance. Like how the texture of Kira's hair looked to be indistinguishable from Cagalli's, or how her cheeks were just as baby-fat as his lovers, and even how Kira's cute little nose found its carbon copy on the princess's face.

Athrun wondered if the appropriate response to this scene might have been something closer to jealousy, but he just couldn't muster the feeling. He just knew instinctively that the two before him would never be interested in each other that way.

"Athrun has joined the Archangel now Cagalli," Kira explained to the girl still laying on top of him.

"What!" she gaped, mouth going slack.

Athrun couldn't stop himself from bursting into a hearty laugh at her reaction. The blonde had brought with her a much-needed reprieve from the overwhelming seriousness of their situation.

Athrun's mind had been spinning, _what is going on with the world?_ Both sides of the war had become so much more radical, and their terrible strategies were being carried out in quicker and quicker successions. He didn't even know where to begin to slow the death count. The enormity of the responsibility was harrowing. He had sworn that he would do something, and he wasn't about to back down. Athrun just didn't know what exactly he _could_ do.

Standing in that hallway, with the boisterous blonde, and his lover, something shifted in his state of mind. Athrun felt at ease. Like a normal teenager for a brief moment.

> _C.E. 71: June 9th, ORB, Archangel, 08:00_

Sai guzzled down a glass of water

Kuzey was fidgeting next to him, peering down into an empty meal tray. "Sooo … Now what? What happens to us now? I mean we aren't soldiers anymore, are we?"

Sai didn't say anything as he pondered their situation.

The shorter boy bit his lip, tugging it between his teeth. "If the Archangel has left the military now...that means…"

Noticing that Kuzzey was still waiting for a response from him, Sai forced himself to be honest. "We're deserters, and that's a charge that will be with us for life."

"You know," Kuzzey began hopefully. "I still have the discharge permission form we were all given."

Sai let out a breath. _When would Kuzzey understand?_ The blonde needed to get some space from his friend. Kuzzey meant well, but sometimes his inability to grasp the gravity of their situation was far too irritating. He sat up from the dining hall table, hoping to get some air.

"What? Hey, Sai?" Kuzzey called out after him.

"Just going to the bathroom," he excused himself.

Mir, who had been listening to their conversation quickly finished eating once Sai had left. She sat up and dropped her tray off by the window to the kitchen. Seeing one of the cooks at work on the next meal, she called over, "thanks, that was delicious."

"My pleasure," the man waved back.

Mir noticed several trays still resting under the heat lamps. It was odd. She hadn't come to collect her meal until far past the regular breakfast hours. Had so many others done the same? "By the way did you know there are a few meals here that no one has come to pick up?"

"What?" The cook turned around, to look through the window. "Oh, those last ones are for the prisoners."

Mir frowned, hesitating for a moment before grabbing three of the meals, stacking them in her arms, and heading towards the brig.

> _C.E. 71: June 9th, ORB, Archangel, 08:00_

Dearka looked up from where he was laying in his cell bunk, noticing a familiar short-haired brunette walking up to his cell. That girl again. He noticed again how awfully good-looking the Natural really was. Her little hairstyle flipped out cutely at her shoulders and her bright blue eyes even weighed down in shadows, made him think there may be more to her than just how attractive she was. He could tell there was something sharp there.

"Mealtime," she hummed softly. "Things got a bit crazy, sorry for the delay."

Nicol and Yzak looked up at the call of food.

Mir started handing the trays out to their appropriate cells, starting with Yzak. She could feel Dearka staring at her, perplexity written all over his face. "What is it?" she clicked her tongue **,** annoyed by his behavior.

"Ah, nothing. I guess I'm a little surprised to see that you're the one who brought it, honey."

"Honey?" she snapped.

"Sorry," he faltered. "I meant no insult ma'am."

Mir scoffed at the title. "My name is Miriallia, don't call me ma'am either."

Nicol and Yzak watched the exchange with astonished fixed gazes **.** This natural girl had taken their usually very surly teammate and knocked him down several pegs in a matter of seconds.

"Y-you mean, I can call you by your name?"

She slid Dearka's tray through the meal entry space in the cell door a little rougher than altogether necessary. "No!" she rejected, turning on her heel.

Dearka flinched like he had been smacked.

"Holy fuck," Yzak mumbled to himself. Nicol nodded numbly in agreement. Holy fuck was exactly right. _That was not ordinary natural._

The blonde ignored his teammates. He scrambled over to the bars of his cell. "Wait for a second!"

"Now what?" Mir scowled back at him.

"I want to know what's up with this ship. Like why are we still aboard this stupid thing?"

She rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Sorry, there's nothing we can do about it."

Dearka didn't feel satisfied. He had been locked up for over a month with no sign of being released, and now two of his teammates had been captured as well. "Well, then, where are we? Better yet, when are we going to get out of here?"

Mir sighed. "We're in ORB, and I really have no idea when they're going to let you all out." She gave him an apologetic shrug. "Look, they're not even letting us off either."

He growled as she walked away. The sound of her footsteps echoing from the hall.

"Dearka, who was that?" Nicol inquired.

"Hm?" The blonde looked over at his green-haired teammate.

"Didn't you hear her? 'My name is Miriallia'," he mocked in a poorly replicated female voice.

Nicol frowned, exchanging a puzzled look with Yzak. "You seemed to know her though, did something happen between the two of you?" he pressed, tilting his head towards the exit Mir had walked out.

Dearka tensed from where he was lying in his cot. He let out an exasperated groan. "She tried to kill me," he muttered, still not understanding how she had gone from that to risking her life to protect him.

Both Nicol's and Yzak's eyebrows rocketed towards the ceiling. "She what?" cried the silver-haired boy. "That bitch!"

"No, it's not so simple." Dearka rubbed his temples. Her entire reaction seemed so off to him. And he had teased her for it. That is until chilly comprehension had washed over him. She had actually lost someone. Doubtlessly someone very important. And he...fuck, what had he said?

"In the battle where I was captured, her boyfriend, a guy named Tolle was killed. I had no idea, but she thought I did it." He began his explanation. "Then later, we were stuck in a room together, and she was crying. I think I said something like 'did your natural boyfriend die on you?'"

Understanding dawned on the two pilot's faces. "Dearka, how could you!" Nicol cried at him.

"I didn't know! I would never have said that otherwise." The blonde buried his face in the one pillow his cell came with.

"You're a dumbass," Yzak jeered in disbelief.

"Argh," Dearka growled. "She went ballistic, jumping me with this knife, I don't even know where she got it. Some guy showed up and pulled her off me. That was when it came out that she had lost her boyfriend." It was also when he realized what a dick he must have looked like to her. Her accusation that he was a scumbag still rang in his head.

"This other chick showed up out of nowhere, pointing a gun at me, and shouting all this racist crap, like, 'all coordinators deserve to die.' And Miriallia jumped in front of me to stop her from shooting me."

"But why..." Crystal blue eyes narrowed in suspicion.

Why indeed.

"I think it was because that other chick kept saying they were the same."

Nicol rested his chin in his hands. "So she overcame the sorrow in her heart because she didn't want to become hateful like the other girl."

Dearka nodded thoughtfully. "That's what I was thinking."

"I just would have killed you," Yzak scorned.

The blond slumped against the wall, bowing his head. He probably would have killed himself too if he had been in Miriallia's place.

> _C.E. 71: June 9th, ORB, Archangel, 08:30_

Sai walked back into the Archangels cafeteria to try and finish his meal. Kuzzey was nowhere to be found, but several new occupants had entered. Kira and Cagalli were grabbing trays from the wall. Sai tensed when he spotted the unnatural hair of the ZAFT pilot they had taken in. He must have accompanied the other two.

The crewman sat back down by his tray, watching the unknown Coordinator with caution. The bluenette's face was impassive, completely unreadable. It made him uneasy.

"Oh, hey Sai," Kira greeted him pleasantly, settling down across from where he was seated.

The blonde poked his meal with a fork, attempting to form what turned out to be a poor excuse for a smile. He wished he had an appetite; this was one of the first times in weeks they had any decent food. ORB had supplied them with very high-quality rations almost as soon as they had docked, but all the anxiety was running through his system over what might happen to them in the future had ruined any possibility of his enjoyment.

Cagalli and Athrun approached shortly behind Kira. Cagalli perched herself closer to Sai, probably trying to be polite, and Athrun followed suit sliding in next to Kira. Sai couldn't help but watch the azure haired boy through the corner of his eyes, noting the bowl stacked on his tray. He must have gotten it from the kitchen staff because there was no need for it with the meals they had been served. Sai knew they were meant to regard him as a comrade, but this guy just made him nervous.

The Archangel's cook had prepared omelets on beds of vegetables with sliced fruit, and cups of yogurt. Wordlessly, Kira forked his food onto Athrun's plate. In return, the bluenette exchanged his yogurt and fruit helpings along with the empty bowl. Kira drained his yogurt cups into the bowl and dumped the fruit into it.

Cagalli's questioning look let Sai know that he wasn't the only one confused by the switch.

"Um...you don't want your omelet, Kira?" the princess tilted her head.

The small boy only shrugged, taking a spoonful of his makeshift parfait. Athrun answered for him. "Kira doesn't like eggs."

"Oh," Cagalli muttered, still marveling at the smooth transfer.

Sai remembered Kira's red-faced confession that they had known each other their entire lives and that he supposedly loved this guy. At the time, Sai hadn't fully believed him. The whole scenario had seemed unlikely. Not to mention convenient. However, after everything they had been through together, he trusted that Kira wouldn't knowingly endanger them, so he had gone along with the Captain's orders. Now, he wasn't so sure that Kira had been dishonest at all.

Athrun scooped some of his fried vegetables onto Kira's plate and passed a salt shaker snagged from the center of the table into Kira's waiting hand. Kira proceeded to season his vegetables with the salt.

The series of transactions happened so quickly; the two boys had just seemed to _know_ what the other would do. As if they had shared this same meal a thousand times and there was no need to discuss it.

Sai tried not to watch as they took bites of their food. He felt so out of place sitting with them.

Kira, ever considerate, noticed the blonde's discomfort. He glanced at Athrun. "Sai is one of my friends from back on Heliopolis."

"Is that so?"

Truthfully they hadn't been very close before the war. Sai had only vaguely known him through Tolle and Mir, but still, Kira had risked his life to keep him safe. Even going as far as to fight against his... _boyfriend?_ Is that what these two were?

"Yeah, we were both technology majors, and we had the same long-term project."

Athrun nodded attentively to Kira's introduction.

Sai tried to play along. "So um, what do you study?"

Athrun's eyebrows rose at the question. Not being able to stop himself he outright chuckled at the ridiculousness of it.

The crewman blushed, not understanding the boy's reaction. "W-what is it?"

"Athrun," Kira scolded with a swat to his arm. The bluenette, now smiling apologetically, caught his lover's hand, threading their fingers together softly, brushing the pads of his fingers over Kira's.

The easy-going affection in the gesture startled Sai, and he couldn't help but notice how normal the blue-haired guy looked right then. The FAITH agent had seemed so aloof when he had first introduced himself to the Archangel. The crewman had wondered how Kira could trust such a person, but now he was wondering how he could have missed the magnetism between the two.

"I completed my formal education before I entered the military academy. For most Coordinators, it's the norm to finish rather young. Kira's the odd one, so I can see why you'd make that mistake."

Sai blinked when he realized Athrun had been talking to him.

"Hey!" Kira protested. "I'm not-"

"Yes you are Kira, you're a weirdo," Cagalli chimed in, nodding vigorously while trading devilish smirks with the bluenette.

"See?" Athrun challenged, tilting his head provocatively at the smaller boy, emerald orbs dancing with mirth.

Sai's eyes widened as Kira's mouth pursed into petulant looking pout rather than retorting. It was an expression the crewman had never seen on the face of his serious friend.

"Well, what did you study while you were in school, Athrun? Was it the same stuff as Kira?" the princess inquired, suddenly curious.

Athrun shook his head, still smiling lazily at Kira. He took another bite of food before speaking. "No, not exactly."

Kira leaned towards Cagalli. "Athrun's a mechatronics engineer."

"A what?" Her brows pinched quizzically.

Sai stared at the bluenette eating his breakfast in disbelief. That was a field he had always been fascinated with. The only other mechatronics engineer he had ever known was professor Kaito. Being so young, Sai hadn't been able to specify his education very much. Still, he had done everything in his power to aim his projects in that direction.

Kira spooned a helping of parfait into his mouth. "In essence, it means he's an engineer for robotics."

Cagalli was about to say something, but Sai beat her to it. "Er, would you..." he stumbled. "Possibly mind showing me a few things if you have the time?"

Athrun looked surprised; he shot a sideways glance towards Kira in a silent question. The brunette gave him a curt nod confirming-what exactly? Sai wasn't sure.

"All right," he agreed carefully, clearly not understanding why Sai had even asked. It had been a very long time since the crewman had been able to practice any work, let alone have something like this to look forward to.

Cagalli leaned in towards Kira. "Anyway." She made a wave gesture with her hands announcing a change of topic. "Can you guys tell me what happened? The last intelligence report ORB received said that Kira was taken as a captive by ZAFT, and then suddenly you had turned up in Alaska to rescue the Archangel."

Kira gave Athrun an appraising look, wondering if the bluenette would feel more comfortable explaining it himself.

Athrun's face turned to stone, and Sai thought they wouldn't be getting any answers, but then something passed between the two boys and Athrun squeezed Kira's hand as some kind of response. "What did you want to know?"

Cagalli crossed her arms, not liking the change in his demeanor. "What happened after Kira was defeated?"

Athrun's face remained inscrutable. Sai was almost surprised when he started speaking.

"My team captured him along with the Strike. After his wounds were healed, he was placed in confinement." He described the events briefly, and with painstaking banality like he was giving a report.

"So you were a POW?" Cagalli directed her question at Kira, worry etched into her brows.

"Yeah," the brunette grimaced, a dark expression shading his eyes as he recalled the many days he had spent amongst screaming silences.

When nothing else was supplied, the princess pushed onto another point. "How did you escape?"

The atmosphere had grown tense, and Sai was now regretting that he had stayed. He didn't belong in this conversation.

Again, the two boys spoke without speaking, reading thoughts from one another's eyes. It was Athrun who answered. "We had some help getting to the Freedom and Justice. From there it was simple."

Cagalli wasn't having it. "But why bother capturing Kira if you were going to help him escape? And why did you walk away that day in ORB? I could have helped you then!"

Sai didn't know what she was referring to, when had Athrun been with them in ORB? He was missing a significant piece of this story.

Athrun looked down, briefly closing his eyes. He had been so mixed up before, truly believing that Kira had betrayed him. Once Kira had been captured, and they were able to talk, so many things had been clarified. "The council...was going to execute him. That's why we had to escape."

The princess opened her mouth to prod for further details but was stopped by a flat look from Kira. She would need to wait for a more private setting if she wanted any more information. Cagalli leaned back in her seat with a scowl, throwing her hands up in surrender.

Kira gave her a tight-lipped smile, and stood up, marking their conversation as over.

He picked up two mugs from the counter. One for him, and no doubt one for Athrun as well. He filled them both carefully with hot water from the boiler, dropping sachets for black tea in each. Leaving one alone as thin ringlets of steam rolled off its surface, Kira measured out two tablespoons of honey and one tablespoon of milk to add to the other. Stirring the hot drink slowly to make sure that all of the ingredients blended, he turned back to deliver the black tea to Athrun who hummed appreciatively as he accepted it.

Another fluidly wordless interaction.

Kira took his place next to Athrun back, blowing at the surface of his mug, and breathing in the hot air around it. By the time it had cooled enough to take a sip and savor the sweet drink, a film of foam was forming over the surface,

Athrun too, sipped his tea, calmly watching his lover.

It was time to leave.

Sai's food was cold, and he had already overstayed his welcome. He avoided their eyes as he said his goodbyes, hugging the walls on his way out.


End file.
